I am a 41 year old man. I have been with my partner for 14 years and we have 4 kids. We met in 2009 and I proposed in 2010. She said yes, but then we decided to start a family.
I wanted to marry really before we had kids, for me marriage is usually you do first, live as a married couple for a bit, then start your family. We had our first child in 2011 and then went on to have the others in 2013, 2014 and then 2017.
As Im sure you can imagine that was an intense period and ultimately I feel like we missed the window to marry.
We were of the position for a long time after that that marrying seemed a bit silly. Neither of us are religious, so that isnt a factor, and we are bonded through far more important things to us than the law (ie our children, our finances). Also neither of us would want a big wedding, mainly because we barley have any friends now who would come and the cost seems impractical when we have so many more important things to spend money on.
Lately though we have been considering getting married in a rather private way. No guests, stag/hen dos, best men brides maids or all that. We would both perhaps simply like a wedding with just us two and the kids.
She has suggested getting married on a beach somewhere in another country (even though she hates beaches!).
I do like the idea of something like that, where it is only about us. I just worry it would feel lonely and somewhat sad, or it wouldnt be classy enough.
Last thing I would want would be a functional registry office do - Im very romantic and proposed to her on the Rialto in Venice, having known since the first time I visited that that would be where I would propose some day. My wife isnt romantic at all, but I am, and if we were going to bother to do something I would want something, not grand, but beautiful, elegant but not stuffy or repressed. Neither of us wants to spend a great deal, but we think the kids would like it if we were married as well.
Neither of us, but especially me, have any idea where to start with something like this. Anyone have any ideas or done something similar?
We dont want pomp, we want private but intimate/romantic.