Small wedding - how?!

[k80pie]

DP and are engaged, two small DCs together. He was married before but knew that getting married was important to me.

Neither of us want a big wedding, actually it’s not about the wedding at all - I just want the ‘framework’ of a marriage, and to all have the same last name. So a small/tiny wedding it is.

The question is - how?! Where do you draw the line at which family come? Which friends? His mum and sister don’t speak and will not be in the same room together so that’s a major. Half and step siblings are in the mix, some overseas as well as some of our closest friends.

How do we have a special little celebration with our kids there, with some close people, without it turning into a big deal with people trying to fly back for it, acrimonious family relationships and drawing the line somewhere and risking offending some friends. Help please! I’m not sure I want to elope and we would need some people there to help with our kids (under 5).

His mum and sister don’t speak and will not be in the same room together so that’s a major.

If your partner gets on with both of them, he invites both, and refuses to get involved with the argument. They can come or not.

Or you could just get married with a couple of friends and your children? Or is that too small?

We had about 10 guests at our wedding - our parents plus a handful of friends. Our siblings weren't invited, but then for us they live far away and although there hasn't been any falling out, we don't speak much, we aren't close.

Could you do registry office, just you and a couple of friends then have a party in the house. Invite those you want to invite. Re sil and mil, invite and then leave it up to them. It can be as low key as you’d like it to be.

We had 11 guests at ours - immediate families only.

I'd say invite his mum and sister and they can fight it out between themselves or not. Those overseas, stress that you'd love them to be there but not to feel obliged.

Friends did this.
Booked a registry office. Chose a friend each as witnesses.
Got married.
Went for lunch.

Choose two people as witnesses, book a wedding at a registry office, job done. No need to make any big announcement, just get on with your life.

We had 20 people in total, we went abroad. Literally only family and no pressure obviously on anyone to attend or not

If I got married again I would get a registry office and again family but maybe a few friends and I would keep this at 10 friends max literally the "inner circle"

There were 2 guests, of sorts, at our wedding- the photographer and the wedding organiser. We got married in Gibraltar and had photos taken all over the rock.

I'm considering a tiny wedding if dp and I get married - most likely just us and the kids, who are old enough to be our witnesses. As soon as we invite siblings the whole thing expands massively so we probably wouldn't.

In your case, I'd probably invite the parents so that you have help with the kids (and witnesses) and leave all the siblings out.

We had immediate family only, so about 20 across 3 generations. Family kindly looked after a DC each at the ceremony and overnight so we could have a night away before and after.

One set of parent/new partner tactfully arranged to be away on holiday so they 'sadly had to decline' our invitation, which was good of them.

We went to a pleasant register office followed by afternoon tea at a smart hotel. Then everyone left, we went for dinner a deux, night in a hotel then back to pick up the DC the next day.

Perfect.