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Small wedding, 21 guests but 10 are kids - WWYD

4 replies

TheDogsKnees · 10/05/2023 10:15

First post in years! We are looking to have a small wedding with just immediate family. The guest list would comprise 11 adults and 10 kids including our 3 DD's. The kids comprise four aged 3-7 and 6 aged 12-15.

We are looking to get married in either November or February (short notice due to my Dad's failing health). It will likely be a registry office ceremony. We were initially thinking we would hire a private room in a nice pub/restaurant for afterwards but the more I think about it, the more stressful it sounds because of the kids! The younger ones will get bored and four of the older ones have ADHD, Autism or both which means they will also struggle in various ways. I feel it would be more the adults trying to "manage" the DC rather than getting to spend some quality time together.

The other option we are considering is renting a cottage for the weekend. I have found a lovely one which would comfortably accommodate us all and we could get caterers in for a hot buffet after the wedding (or we can get an Asda delivery). There are plenty of bedrooms, sitting rooms, games room and general space. Younger kiddies can be put to bed without worry when needed and older kids will be able to please themselves with how/when they join in with the adults who will be able to spend some quality time together... BUT it's £3.2k for this luxury! That's before we've even looked at wedding fees, outfits, rings, catering and all the other stuff I've not even thought about 😫We can just about afford it, but it's not what I had envisaged budget-wise. Is it worth it for the more relaxed experience? Or if we went for the nice meal option, how could we make it potentially less stressful/"entertain" the DC?

OP posts:
FaintlyMacabre · 10/05/2023 10:20

The cottage sounds ideal and I would cut back on other things to afford it. Maybe ask for contributions instead of wedding presents?
Caveat- if you all get on well and will enjoy each others company for the whole weekend. If there’s any tensions they might be exacerbated…

ReviewingTheSituation · 10/05/2023 10:20

Sounds lovely. We did exactly this for a friend's wedding. They found a lovely house, then went to the nearest register office (which happened to be in a very nice building with lovely gardens), had a simple wedding ceremony, photos in the garden, a drink in a nice bar close by, then all back to the house.

We had (very low key, quiet) fireworks in the early evening (it was winter so it was dark early) and after the kids went to bed we chatted until the small hours.

I'd say think about how you want to spend your budget - the actual legal part of the wedding doesn't have to cost much, neither does your outfit if you don't want it to. It would be nice to have a special meal if you can stretch to it (you don't want to be dealing with buffets/washing up on your wedding day), but you may well be able to make it work.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/05/2023 10:22

Get married in the middle of a school day Grin

Then the next day have a big family trip out to somewhere all the dc would enjoy like a safari or theme park.

Lalonda · 10/05/2023 10:39

Hi op I hired a cottage for my wedding for a small number of people. There was enough rooms for people to sleepover and a large garden for the children to run about it.

However given it's at the top of your budget I would go for the room hire especially due to the time of the year. It's not your job to worry about how other people's children will cope just worry about your own. You could provide activity packs or whatever to entertain them.

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