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Original poster

Who can give me away?

27 replies

Pandermonium · 04/05/2023 09:25

I've been engaged to my partner for 13 years, together 16. We've decided once we move (we're moving away from my toxic family) we'll finally get married.
My wonderful grandparents have passed, I'm estranged from my parents and brother and wouldn't want to ask them even if I wasn't.
I do have an amazing aunt, can I ask her? Or does it need to be a man?

Another question, I really want to lose weight before the big day (likely next year so got some time). At least 3 stone but preferably 6! How is best to go about this?
I have a whole host of medical issues, physical and mental, which make cardio work difficult. Torn rotor cuff makes weights impossible on that arm.
Any good meal plan books you can recommend would be amazing.

Thank you!

OP posts:
swanling · 04/05/2023 09:31

Walk down the aisle together, to start your married life together.

Lcb123 · 04/05/2023 09:33

You don't have to be 'given away'. You could chose to walk down the aisle with anyone you chose, or on your own, or with your DH! Have you looked at 16:8 fasting, really helps me maintain my weight.

TheFlis12345 · 04/05/2023 09:33

Anyone can give you away. One friend of mine was given away by her mum and another by her twin sister.

FetchezLaVache · 04/05/2023 09:34

Of course you can ask your aunt! I'm hoping my son (13) will give me away, but he's autistic and extremely shy, so my sister is standing by in case he can't do it.

As for the weight loss, try the Fast 800 keto plan and look into low carb, high protein in general. If you can't do much exercise, you'll need to eat foods that keep you feeling full. Can you walk, swim, cycle etc?

eurochick · 04/05/2023 09:34

Why does anyone need to give you away? It is a horrendously outdated concept!

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/05/2023 09:34

swanling · Today 09:31
Walk down the aisle together, to start your married life together.”

Perfect. Give yourselves to each other. Congratulations.

TwoManyKids · 04/05/2023 09:36

I'm giving myself away!

BlueDinoRawr · 04/05/2023 09:36

swanling · 04/05/2023 09:31

Walk down the aisle together, to start your married life together.

I did exactly this.

I hate the term “giving away” I am not a possession and to me, walking down the aisle together signified our being equals.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/05/2023 09:42

BlueDinoRawr · 04/05/2023 09:36

I did exactly this.

I hate the term “giving away” I am not a possession and to me, walking down the aisle together signified our being equals.

Show quote history

Same. It was lovely. We got married outside and walked out to where everyone else was with my DSC each holding a hand.

junebirthdaygirl · 04/05/2023 10:00

If ye are together 16 years you are well and truly given away! Just walk down the aisle together. Think the giving away thing was for dds who were literally leaving their family home to get married. Have a great day.

Hbh17 · 04/05/2023 10:04

Nobody! You are your own person, not a possession. I was married over 30 years ago, in a Register Office, and we just went in together. In fact, I think we were already in the room, having confirmed the paperwork, when the guests came in. So much better.

Lovelydaytomorrow · 04/05/2023 10:06

As a wedding photographer, I've seen everything, including in 'traditional' church weddings: walk down on your own, walk down together, wak down with your dog, or absolutely anyone else you'd like to ask.

I think your question about weight might get more answers as a separate question on a different section, but I find intermittent fasting works well for me.

Skybluepinky · 04/05/2023 10:28

No need to be given away, concentrate on improving yr health.

JANetChick · 04/05/2023 10:33

I agree that you don’t need to be given away. But your aunt would probably be delighted to be asked. How about being flanked by your aunt and your best mate on your walk? That may feel a bit less like being “given away”.

Intermittent Fasting and walking 12k steps daily made me lose weight, but with your health issues I’d talk to your GP or practice nurse first.

StoneColdAlibi · 04/05/2023 10:36

In terms of losing weight the exercise is almost incidental. Your diet will make the the biggest impact.
Concentrate on eating whole foods, aim for at least 100g of protein and 25g of fibre a day.
Exercise-wise just up your activity levels, walk and walk and walk and don't spend too much time sedentary.

Good luck

CurlewKate · 04/05/2023 10:51

Charlotte Brontë was given away by her old headmistress....

CeliaNorth · 04/05/2023 11:03

Charlotte Brontë was given away by her old headmistress....

I came to say that.

And in fiction, Harriet Vane was given away by the head of her Oxford college.

Original poster
Pandermonium · 04/05/2023 14:30

Thank you all very much.
I guess I just had this idea in my head of wafting down the aisle being met by a dad that actually cared, my partner turning and being stunned by my radiance 😅 Obviously that won't be happening.
I like the idea of us walking down together. Or maybe asking my aunt to walk with me, as she's always been so supportive.

I'll look into the fasting thanks!
And the macro guide is perfect thank you @BlueDinoRawr

OP posts:
SlipperyLizard · 04/05/2023 14:33

My mum wanted to give me away (Dad not on the scene), but I’m not someone’s possession to “give”.

DH and I walked into the registry office together, supporting each other (both nervous!). Highly recommend it!

TwoBlueFish · 04/05/2023 14:34

We walked down the aisle together. If you don’t want to do that then you can choose anyone you want.

JustAJokeLikeOnTopGear · 04/05/2023 14:41

I strongly believe in walking down the aisle together - as a team and partnership.

I love my dad to bits was not going to be given from anyone or to anyone.

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/05/2023 14:50

swanling · 04/05/2023 09:31

Walk down the aisle together, to start your married life together.

That's what DH and I did even though both my parents were there. I didn't need to be 'given away'.

Speckson · 04/05/2023 15:20

A friend recommended what I refer to as the "bore yourself thin" diet. I lost about 5 stone over about 18 months. The only exercise I took was walking - fairly briskly and increasing length/hilliness as I got fitter.

I found that not having to decide what to eat made this very easy to stick to and also avoid "treats". I would occasionally have an extra bit of fruit.

Breakfast - 2 Weetabix with a couple of tablespoons of bran and skimmed milk - no added sugar. (My friend said if you use loose cereal you tend to give yourself too big a helping, and some types are very sugary)

Lunch - fruit - I usually had a couple of bits - eg. a banana and an apple

About 5pm (or swop with lunchtime) soup - any sort

Evening meal - huge plate of salad with 100gm protein - meat/fish/egg - I used to have salami sometimes, even though it's fatty. I just used sliced ham, cold chicken, tuna... I didn't bother to cook something specially. I put balsamic vinegar on as a dressing because I couldn't find a low calorie dressing I liked.

As much tea and coffee as you like thoughout the day - no sugar - with milk if you want (I use full fat milk, don't like it with semi-skimmed)

I don't like cola/squash etc so apart from tea I just drank water, or sometimes sparkling water with a slice of lemon. No booze! It's full of calories.

BeverlyBrook · 04/05/2023 15:36

Go together or with your aunt.
The man thing is only because women were men's property in old law. It has become a tradition, but that where the tradition comes from

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