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Weddings

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Is cheap possible?

19 replies

GottaLoveCakes · 02/05/2023 13:32

So OH & I have been discussing getting married.

Is it possible to do it cheap but it still be amazing? Any there any cheap venues? Great packages?

Also, going diy.. is it worth the hassle?

We're in the south. Any recommendations Surrey
Berkshire
Hampshire
Dorset

Than you

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 02/05/2023 13:35

Cheap is relative! If you rent a village hall, have a homemade buffet and ask guests to bring their own drinks then it could be very cheap. We got married last year and found that venues like hotels where you have a function room and pay per head (with venue hire included) worked out cheaper than DIY for the same level of food/drink etc, and it was a predictable cost rather than DIY there's so many extra bits.

Pootles34 · 02/05/2023 13:45

Married, yes - wedding - more tricky!

It depends enormously on how many people you want to come, what help you have, etc. Our friends (young, childfree) had their wedding in a relatives garden, it was a really wonderful day. BUT they had endless help from very talented friends and family, and they still said it was a bloody nightmare.

BarrelOfOtters · 02/05/2023 13:48

I think the best thing we did was work out what our priorities were. So how many guests, that we wanted the food and wine to be great and fancied a disco.

We are old and it was 2nd time for him.

We hired out a whole restaurant for the day, but didn't have any decorations beyond the flowers they would usually have, or covers for chairs, or sweetie tables etc. 120 people in all. But it was a nice restaurant with garden and a good place to be.

We got married later - 4pm - and had nibbles and prosecco and then a sit down buffet (so tables got called up to the buffet). And then cheese and biscuits later on in the evening. I provided cupcakes on a tower for the cake.

Dh bought a new suit and tie and I got a dress in the sale from a department store very very cheaply. The rings were fairly standard.

We put on transport (coaches) from the venue and back.

I got my make up done and we got a hairdresser into the house in the morning.

In retrospect I wouldn't have bothered with a photographer, but DH was keen. I had my DSD and 2 neices for flowergirls.

We organised it all ourselves.

It was quite casual, more like inviting a bunch of friends out for dinner.

My main message would be don't buy into the wedding industry.

I've been to insanely expensive weddings (which were incredible) and also production line weddings - small weddings - big weddings.

The best ones were where the food was good, you could have a mingle and a dance and there wasn't too much waiting around.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/05/2023 14:29

Yes cheap or certainly cheapish is possible. I would love to go to a village hall wedding , it is what most people did a couple of generations ago.
My wedding wasn’t all that costly, we kept it as small as possible and we were lucky to have a relative who offered to hold it and had enough space. We had a buffet and all the food was home made, the champagne was a wedding present. The main costs were the people hired to fill glasses and the canapés. The bridesmaids dresses were made by a seamstress and weren’t super cheap but very reasonable considering. My dress was a gift and so were my shoes. I did my own hair and makeup.
The flowers for me and the bridesmaids, plus the buttonholes, were quite expensive but a friend and I bought a carful of flowers and did the church together, the vicar lent us lots of vases ! It was fun and looked lovely. My Mum made the cake.
There were some additional costs , presents for bridesmaids, their shoes, that kind of thing. DH borrowed a suit.
I think roping in friends and family to all do something makes a huge difference to the cost though, and also gives a lovely feel to a wedding.

GottaLoveCakes · 02/05/2023 14:47

SirVixofVixHall · 02/05/2023 14:29

Yes cheap or certainly cheapish is possible. I would love to go to a village hall wedding , it is what most people did a couple of generations ago.
My wedding wasn’t all that costly, we kept it as small as possible and we were lucky to have a relative who offered to hold it and had enough space. We had a buffet and all the food was home made, the champagne was a wedding present. The main costs were the people hired to fill glasses and the canapés. The bridesmaids dresses were made by a seamstress and weren’t super cheap but very reasonable considering. My dress was a gift and so were my shoes. I did my own hair and makeup.
The flowers for me and the bridesmaids, plus the buttonholes, were quite expensive but a friend and I bought a carful of flowers and did the church together, the vicar lent us lots of vases ! It was fun and looked lovely. My Mum made the cake.
There were some additional costs , presents for bridesmaids, their shoes, that kind of thing. DH borrowed a suit.
I think roping in friends and family to all do something makes a huge difference to the cost though, and also gives a lovely feel to a wedding.

This sounds so lovely. Just perfect.

OP posts:
somethingbluee · 02/05/2023 15:24

Firstly - congratulations!

Secondly - yes, it can be cheap.

We are having a wedding at a beautiful local Town hall. Ceremony is £250 + £50 booking fee, and then there's the notice fees / wedding cert on top of that which total to £81. For other government venues it can be even cheaper (my local registry office costs £57).

If you want to save money my advice is for the big ticket items (reception, outfits) avoid anything wedding specific. They hoik the price up when bride, groom, or wedding is mentioned. ;) For the reception we have booked a meal at a lovely rural pub. It's just 16 of us. They have a lovely canopy so rain or shine we will be able to eat whilst enjoying the rolling hills and fields. Found a dress on Etsy for £46.

Including EVERYTHING, so the ceremony fees, documents, reception, outfits rings etc. I think it'll be around 2k for us.

I am up North so I am guessing everything will be that little bit more expensive where you are.

Let us know what you decide to go with. :) I got some great idea off here.

sapphiredrago · 02/05/2023 15:32

What amount would be 'cheap' for you? It's hard to say without a ballpark because everyone has a different idea of this.

bakewellbride · 02/05/2023 15:40

You've been a bit vague. What's your budget roughly? To some people £200 is cheap and to others £10k is cheap.

We got married for £2.5k. Registry office but a nice one. I had an amazing dress and hair done. Page boy and flower girls. Had an incredible photographer and a lovely meal in a restaurant plus hotel accommodation and nice flowers. The ways we cut costs:
-Flowers £70 so just bouquets for me and flower girls and button holes page boy and dh

  • photographer for only 2 hours
  • only 18 people in total
  • no evening do / disco, after the meal that was our wedding done!
  • no stag or hen
  • dress from monsoon but professionally altered so looked expensive
  • I wore jewellery I already owned
  • no favours or faffy stuff. I decorated the private room in the restaurant for under £50 as I made a lot of the decorations myself
A lovely day!
maxelly · 02/05/2023 16:44

Yes cheap is relative, obviously you can pop to your local registery office with just a couple of witnesses for just the cost of the fees (c.£250 last time I checked) and be just as much married as someone who's had the full-on castle and 3 course meal for 100 guests shebang, but I am guessing you want at least some kind of party too?

There are definite ways to cut costs significantly but will usually entail some degree of compromise that may or may not be acceptable to you. The biggest one is usually to significantly cut down the numbers of guests as venue hire, food and drink are usually the biggest costs of a wedding reception. If for instance you can reduce it to c.20 that opens up your options to either host something at home or a relative's house or to go to a local restaurant. That way you can probably have a pleasant 2 course lunch and offer everyone a glass of wine or soft drink to toast with for around £500. Or for the same amount a lovely buffet, afternoon tea or barbeque at home (buy catering style platters from cost co or even get a small local caterer to do something for you, or order in a big takeaway curry/pizzas/fish and chips, and hire crockery and glasses so as not to have to wash up afterwards).

Obviously if you have big families on either side or would want lots of friends there then this ramps up your guest list significantly and so your costs, but it is still possible to throw a party reasonably cheaply if you abandon wedding 'norms'. Village halls or other non traditional venues are a good shout, basically anywhere that will allow you to self-cater and bring your own booze (a cash and carry run with a van is often a good idea for the latter). Again move away from the 'traditional' (which has only really become the norm in the last 30 years or so) seated 3 course wedding breakfast and think of things like hog roast, fish and chips, curry, afternoon tea to easily cater for bigger numbers on the cheap. Or pubs will quite often do you a good deal for a private room and buffet with a certain amount put behind the bar (although capacity usually slightly more limited), particularly if you are able to do it midweek (or in London square mile pubs are often deserted at the weekend and will do you a good deal for a wedding party although probably not 'cheap' in the normal sense of the word). Or if you have a friend or relative with a large garden or land a marquee can be a reasonably cheap way of accommodating large numbers although the headline cost of just hiring the marquee isn't everything, outside of the height of summer you'll want heaters and lights which means a generator/electric hook up, chair/seating hire, crockery and glasses hire, and you'll probably need toilets, sound hook-up if you want to play music or have speeches etc.

Everything other than the food/drink at a wedding reception is optional IMO so you can cut costs according to your own ideas as to what's worth it and what isn't. Often people advise that you look at what talents your friends/family have and ask them to do things for you instead of gifts for the wedding (e.g. can someone make the cake, do the photography, drive you to/from ceremony in their nice car, make the dresses, do the flowers, perform at the reception or act as DJ) which can be great but obviously only works if they are willing and able, I've seen it go horribly wrong where people feel pressured to say yes but then lack the budget, skills or equipment to deliver the 'professional' standard of service the couple were wanting which can lead to ill feeling all round, so be careful there and obviously adjust your expectations accordingly, your mate Pete who tinkers with cameras for his landscape photography will probably take nice snaps but maybe isn't used to organizing group shots and won't have time to edit 100000 photos into a perfectly presented and filtered album the way a professional would do it, your Mum may make a lovely lemon drizzle but a three-tiered beautifully decorated concoction to serve 150 may be more than she can really manage at home etc.

Some other ideas would be:

-Second hand or hired wedding clothing, there are specialist shops which sell or hire wedding dresses, and suits can of course be hired for the men. Bridesmaids dresses can be hired too, or bridesmaids/children's outfits can be bought second hand off vinted. Or some people I know have had success buying cheaply from China but this seems risky to me. Or abandon traditional wedding clothing altogether (we did this) and wear something you already own or buy outfits you already own. Bridesmaids, best men, page boys etc are not compulsory or if you have them can wear clothes they already own.

-Flowers and other decorations are nice to have but not essential, silk flowers are often cheaper than fresh and can look nice (plus don't die if you want to keep as a keepsake).

-Favours are totally unnecessary and often go to waste. If you want to have them consider making them homemade and/or consumables.

-Entertainment - live bands/singers and a DJ are nice to haves but can be expensive, a playlist streamed through speakers is fine especially at a smaller/more informal party.

If you post your rough budget, area of the country and wishlist (no of guests etc) people might have some good ideas for you?

ALittleBitAlexa · 02/05/2023 16:50

'Cheap' and 'amazing' are relative. Honestly I don't think it's possible to have an 'amazing' wedding by my definition without spending quite a lot, unless you elope/have tiny guest numbers but that is a personal opinion - I dislike big weddings done on a budget. I agree with PP who said you need to set your priorities. What are they? Lots of guests - you need to compromise on outfits, catering, decor, photos. Artistic photos or fabulous dress you've been coveting - you probably need to reduce guest numbers or not supply a meal and just have a buffet. Some venues will offer good all-inclusive packages or twilight weddings. Not to my taste but it might suit you. I'm not in your area unfortunately so can't recommend specifics but they are generally hotels, generally small chains/groups.

ALittleBitAlexa · 02/05/2023 16:54

Cross post with @maxelly 's excellent post. I agree that 'roping in friends and family' could be a recipe for disaster, unless you're incredibly lucky and have lots of artistic friends with lots of free time!

roses2 · 02/05/2023 16:57

Second hand is your friend for dresses & decorations.

I bought my dress second hand on ebay
Foam flowers which I reused as decoration around the house
Supermarket (M&S or Waitrose) wedding cake

maxelly · 02/05/2023 17:01

Also I think it depends a lot on how much effort you want to put it personally - e.g. I went to a really beautiful small wedding recently where the bride (who is v creative and artsy) and her sisters had handmade nearly everything - the wedding stationery, all the decorations including incredible fabric flowers and bunting, linen (chair covers, table cloths etc), her own dress and the bridemaids and page boy outfits, the favours, lots of the food, the wedding rings and other jewelry, all carefully handmade using painstakingly sourced recycled or cheap/free materials. Plus because they are a creative couple and their friends are mainly similar, they genuinely did have offers from professional standard photographers, musicians, chefs etc who helped them out with other parts of the wedding for free. Goodness only knows how many hours of collective labour went into it all, like I say I'm sure it was worth it for them as the effect was beautiful, most people I know would simply not be able to dedicate that much time and effort to their wedding (goodness only knows people spend enough time planning/preparing even when professionals are doing all the above), never mind that my family don't even have an artistic bone amongst us, I can only imagine the disaster if we had tried to 'handmake' a wedding Grin

GottaLoveCakes · 03/05/2023 09:15

Sorry, I didn't get a chance to reply yesterday.

So I'm thinking under 5k? Is that possible?

OP posts:
GottaLoveCakes · 03/05/2023 09:16

Definitely wouldn't want to go over 10k. The closest to 5k as possible. It's such a lot of money to spend on 1 day 🙈

OP posts:
RidingMyBike · 03/05/2023 09:18

Totally - we spent £4k including honeymoon, dress and accommodation for guests. Church wedding then hired pub opposite church for afternoon tea reception. Lovely day with plenty of opportunity to talk to guests and all very relaxed. All close by so we didn't need cars to the church or reception either.

ODFOx · 03/05/2023 09:30

It is completely doable for 5k.
With that budget you can choose small and exquisite or big and informal/homemade.
Congratulations and good luck!!

RidingMyBike · 03/05/2023 13:34

We worked it out by considering what was 'essential', starting with us, vicar and witnesses and then adding stuff on.

We didn't have a cake, favours, chair covers, cars, dancing or a sit down meal. The afternoon tea reception was really really popular with our friends as no one needed to pay for overnight accommodation and it fitted in well with children. We got a lot of comments afterwards that it had been the 'best wedding we've been to!'.

We had photos but done by a friend and immediately before, during and after the ceremony itself. We have about 20 photos in an album and I love it as it really captures 'us'.

Be realistic about numbers - who do you REALLY want to be there? Is it worth paying £xx extra for more people? Depends who they are, of course! But it's ok to have a smaller wedding if that's what you want.

maxelly · 03/05/2023 14:16

£5k is perfectly do-able although you will have to make some choices re guest list, as above. If you want 100 guests and a full day/evening do with dancing etc it is going to be fairly tight and you will have to look at self-catering/bring your own booze type options and probably not providing too many 'extras'. Whereas if you only have 20 and you aren't too bothered about a raucous party then you could spend £150 a head on a really nice meal with champagne in a private room at a fancy restaurant and still have change to spend on outfits, flowers etc. A good middle ground option if you do want more of a traditional feeling wedding could be a basic package deal at a small hotel, many will do you an all-in package with room hire, meal, some alcohol during the meal with cash bar for the rest of the evening for around £2500-£3000 for about 50 guests which would leave something left over for the fripperies.

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