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Original poster

Black to Wedding?

31 replies

sweetdreamstenasee · 26/04/2023 23:20

I have an extended family members wedding coming up very soon and I’ll be in my third trimester, I’m getting quite big.

The only formal dress I have that fits is black. Usually in my circle of friends in the city I live wearing black to a wedding is not uncommon and would go without a second glance.

However family member who lives back in suburbs where I grew up is having a very traditional big white wedding, and I’m worried I will look out of place. Love my extended family very much but can imagine them making comment on this.

Money isn’t exactly tight but i’m watching the pennies with baby on the way and it will be costing my husband and I about £200 already to travel to the destination and put money in the card.

I so don’t want to buy another outfit, I really would be wearing it once for this wedding. It seems extra unnecessary given I am pregnant so likely wouldn’t get a second wear, but I wouldn’t want me wearing black to be taken the wrong way. I’m thinking if I pair with bright shoes and make up this will be ok?

Keen to hear thoughts. I’m going see if there’s anything in a charity shop but not holding out too much hope.

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 26/04/2023 23:22

Could you wear a bright wrap and accessories?

SunnySaturdayMorning · 26/04/2023 23:23

No, it won’t be okay. It would be very rude and disrespectful.

Crucible · 26/04/2023 23:25

Yes that's fine - I think most folks will just be glad you're there safe and happy with baby on the way surely. Wear a lovely scarf!

WilsonMilson · 26/04/2023 23:26

I’ve worn black to 2 weddings, I don’t see any problem.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 26/04/2023 23:27

Ask the bride. I had a big white wedding in the countryside and a couple of people wore black, it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

TakeMyStrongHand · 26/04/2023 23:27

Bright accessories and a big smile. No one will notice or care.

Spiderysenses · 26/04/2023 23:31

I've worn black to every wedding that I've been to, didn't even know it was frowned upon. Nobody has ever commented and I've never been the only guest wearing black.

katmarie · 26/04/2023 23:32

My SIL was very pregnant at my wedding, and she came in a lovely black dress, looked wonderful and had a lovely time, despite only having a few weeks to go til the due date. I was just chuffed that she came. Couldn't care less what she (or any other guest we had) wore.

junebirthdaygirl · 26/04/2023 23:45

I have seen lots of black at weddings and nobody seemed to care. Too busy having fun. Think it makes perfect sense to wear a dress you already have so you know you will be comfortable and at ease. Bright shoes could be nice but only if comfortable.

LadyLump · 27/04/2023 13:49

This is such a divisive subject on here. You'll get people (as per second poster) saying how rude and disrespectful is it, but really mumsnet seems to be the only place where people still think this. Every wedding I've been to there have been women wearing black, and I had black for my bridesmaids dresses

Unbridezilla · 27/04/2023 13:52

I think whether black looks celebratory really depends on the style of dress and accessories.

Floaty black maxi with statement earrings and bag/heels: great. Black pencil dress with jacket: office or funeral

RampantIvy · 27/04/2023 13:54

LadyLump · 27/04/2023 13:49

This is such a divisive subject on here. You'll get people (as per second poster) saying how rude and disrespectful is it, but really mumsnet seems to be the only place where people still think this. Every wedding I've been to there have been women wearing black, and I had black for my bridesmaids dresses

I'm inclined to agree. I think wearing a bright wrap or jacket over it would be fine. Let's face it, how many weddings does one person go to while pregnant? It isn't worth spending £££££ on a new dress to wear just once.

Hazelnuttella · 27/04/2023 13:56

Generally I wouldn’t wear black to a wedding, but I probably would in this case.

Bright shoes/bag… maybe a bright fascinator/hatinator/headband too would help.

WaltzingWaters · 27/04/2023 14:04

I think it depends on the style of the dress and how you accessorise it.
And I think especially seeing as you’re pregnant people will understand you wore what you could fit in and feel comfortable in.
Alternatively, you could look into a maternity/breastfeeding dress that will be useful for feeding, if you plan to bf? Or just a cheap floaty dress. I know shein isn’t a great company to use, but I bought a floaty dress for a wedding when I was heavily pregnant for £7 and got loads of positive comments on it!

Alicetheowl · 27/04/2023 14:13

It's fine, go with a colourful scarf or wrap.

Pahpahpotato · 27/04/2023 14:15

I normally wouldn’t wear black to a wedding but I think you get a pass when you’re heavily pregnant! Go bright with your accessories and you’ll be fine!

mewkins · 27/04/2023 14:16

Plenty of people wear black to weddings and it's fine.

caringcarer · 27/04/2023 15:10

Your best bet is to hire a dress.

JosieOhNo · 27/04/2023 15:19

I've never known it to be a thing, even in the backest of backwaters!

TheShade · 27/04/2023 15:56

It’s SUCH an outdated idea imo (the constant policing and rules around women’s clothes at things like this are insane), but if you think your family member would be offended then I wouldn’t.

FWIW i’ve worn black to several weddings but wouldn’t to certain weddings - I think you have to judge it for yourself.

user1492757084 · 28/04/2023 05:22

Team the black dress with a bright wrap and shoes.
The traditional view of not wearing mourning or sombre clothes to a wedding is perhaps outdated.

Make the overall look cheerful and happy.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 28/04/2023 05:39

This is so annoying. How many men wear black to charcoal suits to weddings and it's absolutely fine, but perish the thought that a woman wears black.....

As long as it's festive, wear it!

Jellybebe · 28/04/2023 05:50

Just add a few bright accessories and no one will notice. I have seen people wear black to weddings and it can look very chic. Everyone will also completely understand that you are wearing what fits and will be more focused on bump anyway. Go for it and save your money for bubba.

OrchidsBlooming · 28/04/2023 06:00

The only person whose opinion matters would be the bride; quick check with her, and I doubt she'll have a problem and then go guilt-free to the wedding in your dress. Yes, I would look at how you can add some colour, but scarves and bags get set to one side, so really I wouldn't stress too much.

merrymelodies · 28/04/2023 06:05

It's supposedly unlucky.