Registry office wedding?

[Gloriosity]

I come from a religious family and so all my experience of actual wedding ceremonies is of music, ceremony, liturgy etc- probably 45-60 mins i guess.

I’m not religious and nor is my partner- we think we want to break with family tradition and have a registry office wedding, but I’ve never been to one before. I know they are 20-30 mins long, at our local one you can’t have readings but you can have one piece of non-religious music.

I’m sure it’s just my prior experience/lack thereof, but I’m worried it will feel a bit rushed and factory-line? Hoping those of you that have married in a registry office or been to some lovely registry office weddings might reassure me please?

They are quite simple but can be very nice if that’s the kind of wedding you want. It very much depends on the reception afterwards if you have one.

You can also have a non-religious wedding at a hotel/wedding barn/ many other venues. The registrar comes there and performs the ceremony.

The registry office weddings I've been to lasted around 20/25 min. Ive seen people do readings but none religious. I got married on a hotel which is similar, we had a poem read plus music during signing of the register and to walk in/out to.

Ours was civil, albeit in a town hall rather than the actual register office. I think from me walking in to being given a marriage cert was about 15 minutes.
We had readings, non religious music, confetti etc . All the bits apart from religion tbh

But DH cousin was married in register office. The room was very 'council' but it was just as meaningful as any other wedding. They clearly adored each other and still do.

I'm going to be honest, the registry office weddings I have been to have been sad.

There's nothing ceruminous or celebratory about them and the atmosphere always feels somewhat awkward.

Most Registry office weddings will offer you either a 30 or 60 minute booking (the 30 mins can be a bit in and out as you have to complete legal preliminaries as part of that time), as well as choice of music and readings (both non-religious as you say). Have you managed to have a look inside the room at your local office? Often there are photos or videos of them posted on the relevant council website. This should also hold a list of local approved premises and maybe choosing a venue you love would be the best place to start, bearing in mind things like photos in and outside the room itself. I've been a registrar in the past and can say it's definitely possible to have a really fabulous civil ceremony and wish you all the best!

Depends on the room and the slot I think.

SIL’s felt like an admin job in a council office, because it was a cheap slot (therefore quick, and no readings allowed) in a 60s office block.

I’ve also been to fabulous ceremonies in Islington and Chelsea town halls which have a great sense of occasion, and readings have definitely been allowed.

We got (legally) married in a registry office and it is pretty quick to be honest - we were allowed to have a reading and even then it was max 15 mins. I didn't care we also had a 'proper' wedding with a humanist celebrant. It's really frustrating that in England you can't be legally married by a celebrant like you can in Scotland, I believe.

Anyway - it's something you could consider. Just do the legal bit quickly and quietly - you only need a couple of witnesses - and then have a ceremony that is much more personal where you make your commitment in front of you most important family and friends. You can then choose readings, vows and music that are really personal to you both. I don't think anyone who came to our wedding would have said it felt 'fake' even though in reality it was from a legal perspective.

That’s all really helpful, thank you so much. I think ideally I’d like a celebrant led ceremony and reception all in one place but we’re quite rural and our venue options are a bit limited.

I do actually love the building that houses the registry office in our nearest town, and it also has a beautiful restaurant next to it- we only want about 25 guests so it would be perfect. It’s just the ceremony bit that worries me. I don’t need masses of pomp and pageantry but do want to feel like i actually got married!

It definitely says no readings on our council website, and it’s actually 15 minute slots too, I’ve just looked again. I will enquire as to whether it’s possible to pay extra and have a double slot, that would be perfect I think. I also wondered about some sort of something at the restaurant afterwards too- not a whole second ceremony but something to mark it a little more. Maybe take a bit more time over speeches and we each do one, I don’t know… any ideas welcome!