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Original poster

Did you regret eloping?

23 replies

LittleCactus · 11/04/2023 13:23

Seriously considering just eloping and having a big party with family and friends when we return. It is important to us that we celebrate with friends and family somehow.

We've been together 7 years, engaged for 3 and have lived together for 5. We have a baby. We just. Want. To. Get. Married!

But it costs so much. Even a 'cheap' wedding is around 5 grand. We'd rather spend that on a family holiday in all honesty.

The only thing holding us back is the worry that our families will be disappointed! My dad won't get to walk me down the aisle, my mum won't wear her big hat. Do we want to pay thousands of pounds for my mum to wear a big hat?! No! But I do want to see my family happy.

People who did it - do you regret it?
People who didn't do it - are you happy you didn't do it?
People who aren't married - would you?

OP posts:
Thelittlekingdom · 11/04/2023 13:28

What about a registry office? We did it that way. I got a dress from a department store, husband wore his work suit. We had a small meal after. We didn’t want a big wedding as we had two kids and preferred to spend the money on something else. For us a small wedding was better and I wouldn’t change it.

Moonlightsonatas · 11/04/2023 13:29

Did the Register Office with 2 witnesses, told everyone afterwards. I don’t regret it. I’m sure my Mum would have preferred a proper wedding but I’ve got all sorts of family dramas that I wanted to avoid.

JorisBonson · 11/04/2023 13:32

We did it during covid and it was the best thing ever. Like you, we just wanted to be married! Absolutely zero regrets. I couldn't have told you if there was nobody or a thousand people there when I clapped eyes on DH.

PolliFlinders · 11/04/2023 13:35

I'm another one that did the registry office with 2 witnesses, then a meal. Never regretted it.

Communionmom · 11/04/2023 13:38

DH and I eloped to New York, just the 2 of us. Married 11 years now and never regretted it. My mother was trying to take over the wedding into a huge ordeal and that wasn’t what we wanted.

We did tell people before we went.

iliketobooogie · 11/04/2023 13:39

I eloped to Gretna green with DH 5 years ago. Family all knew what we were doing, most were very supportive and I do not regret it in the slightest. It was the best day ever.
We did get a couple of negatives from DH's side, like his aunty and a couple of cousins who really probably fancied a meal and night out all paid for, but otherwise everyone was lovely!

amoretti · 11/04/2023 13:41

Just do a small wedding! You and the parents....then go out for lunch

Eloperjane · 11/04/2023 13:46

NC for this. We eloped, just the two of us (even though we had a baby we left her behind) to our favourite place. Stayed in our favourite hotel and ate in our favourite restaurant. Best thing we ever did!

the only regret we have is actually hsving a party (with speeches etc) a week later. Wish we hadn’t done that as didn’t enjoy it.

we often talk about how we’d love to re-live our wedding day over and over.

id do it if I were you

Skala · 11/04/2023 13:54

My Husband and I eloped in 2019. We had been together 20 years and we really didn't want a fuss. We got married in Central Park New York with just our photographer as a witness. We then had an amazing 2 weeks in NYC, Toronto and Niagra falls. We didn't tell a soul until we got home and announced it at my 40th birthday party a few days after we got back. Excluding the cost of the hoilday which we had already planned for my 40th, the actual wedding cost around $700 (£560) for the officiant, photographer, marriage licence and marriage certificate. Best day of my life, absolutely no regrets

Frankley · 11/04/2023 14:00

We eloped, didn't tell anyone till afterwards. Never regretted we did it that way. And we've stayed married for many, many years.

Dinoswearunderpants · 11/04/2023 14:07

Best thing we ever did was elope! We married in a Sandals resort (wouldn't work for you as no babies) but perhaps look at Beaches. For the cost of the 'holiday' we had the best weddingmoon.

The wedding/marriage is about you and your partner. My family understood why we did it and eventually we held a party to celebrate.

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 11/04/2023 17:37

We did registry office with parents & our kids only. I wouldn't have changed it.

Keepthetowel · 11/04/2023 17:43

What’s the point in ‘eloping’ if you have a party afterwards, that’s just the same as a wedding except the party is a week or two later.

skip the party and have a nice wedding with just those close family members you actually like there at the registry office and go for a meal or takeaway afterwards if you fancy it.
again don’t have the party.

BeautifulBirds · 11/04/2023 17:47

Loved it!!

We went to Gretna, just us, no kids!
Had 2 nights to ourselves...did the tourist thing after the wedding and a posh meal in the evening!! Bliss.

Piss up when we got back with a very cheap buffet and band.

The whole thing was great!!

Liorae · 11/04/2023 17:52

It was nearly 30 years ago, and I've never regretted it.

EstherHazy · 11/04/2023 17:59

One of the best weddings I went to was one with the B&G, one parent and sibling each, and me and a friend- 8 in total.

If you do that - super small but not full 'elopement'- your mum can still wear the hat, you can be given away, whatever - without any of the fuss. I do think eloping without giving really very close loved ones (thinking especially parents) the chance to be involved is a bit selfish tbh. Why not have them there too? Just draw the net really really close.

cloudonego · 11/04/2023 18:04

I regret NOT eloping. We ticked all the boxes we felt we were supposed to, in hindsight, we have both said we wished we did a small thing with just a few people, abroad, it just would have been much more us.

girlmeetsboy · 11/04/2023 18:11

We went away and told nobody other than a few close friends, we have 4 kids between us who we didn't tell (he ex would have created a drama surrounding one of his kids on the day) We went to the below and it was magical

Runaway Weddings (millbrookestate.co.uk)

Elopement Wedding Venue

Runway Weddings in Devon.

https://www.millbrookestate.co.uk/runawaywedding.php

feellikezerobucks · 11/04/2023 18:15

Best thing we did...married in Vegas then straight onto Mexico for honeymoon.
Everyone knew we were doing it and wouldn't change it 16 years later...good luck!

Bananalanacake · 11/04/2023 18:17

We did the registry office with our DC and DH's parents, grabbed a takeaway on the way home. Spent money on a new bathroom and paying off the mortgage, 3 months before interest rates went to shit. No regrets at all.

Buzzer3555 · 11/04/2023 18:18

Just us 2 and 2 witnesses. It was great. But I hate being the centre of attention and would have felt stressed at a larger wedding

Original poster
LittleCactus · 11/04/2023 23:06

@Keepthetowel would be a lot cheaper to just have an evening do with a buffet, rather than a whole day paying for another meal, drinks reception, all day photographer, all day venue etc etc

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleCactus · 11/04/2023 23:07

Thanks everyone...seriously considering it now!

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