open bar vs tokens

[Leypt1]

I'm Asian and having a mixed traditions wedding. Asian weddings are always open bar. They're also typically very large (e.g. 350 came to my cousin's). They're typically hosted in dry hire venues for this reason.

However I'm very keen on a lovely venue immediately behind the church where we're having our ceremony. It's lovely, set into a nature reserve, is personally meaningful to us (we went to both the reserve and the church on our first date) and would be very convenient.

BUT it's not dry hire - the venue runs the bar.

We're also provisionally holding a dry hire venue, also set in a park and pretty nice, but definitely less meaningful and magical.

The hire costs of both actual venues are comparable. If we go with the dry hire venue we'd also be looking at hiring a coach to schlep everyone across from the church at about £600.

Our guest list is relatively small, we're expecting 170 to come, but assuming 3x drinks per drinker plus soft drinks, a bar tab is still likely to cost us £4k.

Meanwhile if we went with a dry hire hall we could source enough booze for 5x drinks per person for £1.2k

I suppose my question is - would it be considered rude or unacceptable to operate some kind of drinks token system to ensure everyone gets a fair go at the tab? And then cash bar afterwards?

OR should we just forget the whole thing and go with the dry hire venue?

What are guests more likely to appreciate/remember? The venue or the bar?

Personally I don't mind buying drinks at a wedding, and never expect a free bar. If the venue you like will let you operate a token system then give out however many tokens you want to each person then go for a pay bar afterwards.

Several weddings I have been to, the couple put money behind the bar and when it ran out reverted to normal cash sales. You do then have to rely on the venue being honest with what they sell, and the bar staff following any rules you set out ie no doubles of spirits, one drink person etc. Just put whatever you want/can afford even if if it is one drink each,

I personally would go for the meaningful venue and avoid putting on coaches and stuff, especially if it is close to the wedding venue.

Congratulations and hope you have a wonderful day!

And in answer to your last question, people will remember the wedding and the venue, not if they have a free bar or not.

I would choose the venue you like and put some money behind the bar. I wouldn’t give people tokens- surely most people won’t take advantage.

Can you not do welcome drink, then wine on the tables, fizzy for toasts and then a paid bar over and above that? If money behind the bar restrict it to beer, wine and soft drinks only so nobody orders double rums!!!

Most weddings I've been to you've had a drink on arrival, often just couple of options, a couple of bottles on the table for the meal and then a glass of bubbles for toast rest of drinks we've bought ourselves.

I went to a 50th with tokens and it was a really fair way for eveyone to get a drink on the hosts as it were. Conversely I’ve been to parties where the hosts budget behind the bar for drinks has been used up before I even arrived!