Private vow renewal

[Mylittlesandwich]

It's our 10th anniversary next year and we've been saying for years that we would renew our vows at that point. No fanfare, no guests, just the 2 of us. DS will be in school that day so literally just the 2 of us. Probably a trip to Gretna and a handfasting over the anvil.
But some of the things I've seen on MN over the years have me worried. Is it just couples with infidelity that renew? Everything is good with us, we just thought it was a sweet opportunity to reaffirm our love and relationship with how things have changed over the years.

Well, you know why you're doing it, it's none of anyone else's business. No need to even mention it to anyone.

Vows are for life, so they don't need to be renewed.

Why are you doing it?

Honestly, primarily because our wedding was a bit of a shit show. People who weren't invited showed up. We were young and were strong armed into a day that didn't really reflect us. My father did his best to ruin the whole day. And while I try not to dwell on it because at the end of the day I did get to marry DH it would be lovely to have something to look back on years from now that was just ours. Just me and DH, no drama, get some lovely pictures too.

Sounds a good enough reason to me. Go for it. I hope you enjoy your day.

Each to their own but it seems unnecessary to me.
And yes, I think most people suspect infidelity where vow renewals are concerned.
But it is clearly important to you and that is the most important thing. Sod what others think and do what makes you happy!

That's a lovely reason to do it.
Me and DH got married after a decade together and had a small day that was very "us" and it's lovely memory for me. You should definitely have your chance to make a memory like that. Book a good photographer!
Do you need witnesses for renewals though?

We go on cruise holidays, there are loads of renewals onboard.

We did this at our local cathedral one Valentine’s Day. It was really lovely and no infidelity concerned .nice to take a moment to reflect and celebrate.

I'd definitely think a split was on the cards, or one of you had cheated, but why care what other people think? You know why it's meaningful to you so go for it!

My husband and I plan to renew our wedding vows on our tenth anniversary too (currently 6 years married). I did second guess it when I read on mumsnet that it's generally done if someone is unfaithful but then decided that the only thing that matters is that we have good reasons for doing it. In our case, the first few years of our marriage have been truly awful, with the loss of two sons, major ill health and a complete change in who we actually consider important in our lives. We are hoping our luck is changing and want to mark ten years as a celebration of survival as much as anything else. Maybe stupid to others but, as the saying goes, don't let anyone who hasn't walked in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces.

I have been tempted to do this OP for exactly the same reason as you, to make some new memories. We were strong armed into a big wedding that my Dad and Stepmum invited all their friends to at our expense, when really we wanted to elope. I would go for it!

I think this sounds lovely. Other people's opinion doesn't really matter but if that is all that's stopping you then don't tell anyone and let it be your's and dh's special secret.
Gretna sounds nice or you could go anywhere in the world and say vows to each other without any official there. The top of a mountain, a quiet beach or anywhere that takes your fancy.

That sounds lovely to me and a good reason to do it. I think it's a shame that it's so often seen as after something like an affair. It's a good way to celebrate an achievement of being married for a period of time.

I can't think of a vow renewal I've been to or heard about that didn't come after some infidelity, marital crisis or because of a serious illness.

As long as you are aware that people will assume there's been a problem go for it. I'm not sure I see the point personally.

I think it's a good idea to keep the renewal bit to ourselves because it seems like that may split opinions. We won't be wearing wedding type clothes because it's not a wedding. The plan was to just wear something nice and get a photographer to take some pictures. Nobody else needs to know.

In my opinion, it just dilutes the original vows, but each to their own.

Di you even need to tell other people. Just between the two of you sounds nice and meaningful.