Could I ask for a timeline critique?

[Hgak]

Hello!

Getting married in December and have venue and suppliers asking to lock down timelines. Because the groom and almost all guest don't know we're having surprise singing waiters, I can't show anyone my provisional timeline. I've seen loads of good suggestions on here though so thought I'd ask if it seems too rushed, too spaced out etc. England might be playing that day so the kick off is a fixed point, as is the ceremony itself so I have to fit between those times

14:00 - Ceremony
14:30 - Drinks and canapes (I’m not having a photographer, don’t want posed photos)
15:30 - Ask guests to take their seats
15:45 - FOB speech (actually an uncle as my dad died a few years ago)
15:55 - Starter served
Followed by
Groom speech
Main course
Best Man speech
Dessert
17:45 - Cut the cake/bride’s speech – interrupted by Singing Waiters
18:15 - Break to go to bar –smaller guests getting picked up by grandparents/ v few evening guests arrive (my brothers friends)
18:55 - Mother daughter dance (groom and I don’t want a first dance)
19:00 - Football fans head to downstairs bar / Singers performing
19:45 - Buffet served at half time
20:15 - Second singers performance
21.00 - Football fans back, disco
24:00 - Bar closes

There are two options for the evening singers - two 40 min performances or one 120min. I don't know which would be best?

Timeline looks good!

I might have all the speeches to start with though, so those going later on don’t worry about it/ feel able to have a drink.

I know you didn’t ask but….are singing waiters going to be totally cringe?

Singing waiters would be my idea of hell sorry! I can’t imagine anything more cringey. I think I’d want the ground to swallow me up.

I think speeches are always better done after the meal, when they’re done before people are always thinking oh just get on with it so I can have my food. During can be weird as some people will be trying to eat etc and will spoil the atmosphere. After is lovely because everyone is usually tipsy and much more receptive to speeches and willing to laugh at jokes.

Two 40 mins for the singer is better IMO.

Haha! Singing waiters may well be cringe!! I was really enthusiastic about it when I booked and paid deposit last year but when they didn't reply to an email this week I was thinking oh, good, excuse to cancel!! They've replied now so I'm stuck with it (or lose the money)!

i do have they type of family that likes to sing along to stuff so hopefully should be ok....

Two very different ideas about speech timings - weddings I've been to lately have had all speeches at the beginning or interspersed between courses - think I may leave that one up to the speakers! My "escort" is happy to start though as he wants to tell everyone when to pull their crackers and make a joke about how he has finally achieved his dream of being a male escort!

Think I might have to tell some friends about the waiters and see what they think...

When you have live music you normally have two sets of around 40 mins so that sounds better. I have to agree if I was a guest I'd be cringing up my arse at singing waiters.

I'd have to pay full whack if I cancel now, so will just have to cringe my way through it! I can always tell them to cut it short if guests look uncomfortable- nobody else knows how long it's supposed to go in for 😂

15:30 - Ask guests to take their seats
15:45 - FOB speech (actually an uncle as my dad died a few years ago)
15:55 - Starter served
Followed by
Groom speech
Main course
Best Man speech
Dessert
17:45

If I ignore the breakdown, you are basically leaving a little over 2h for the wedding breakfast including speeches.
That's not a lot. Do you know how long speeches are likely to be? This always takes longer than you think!

With 3 speeches and dinner we took 2 & a half hours, possibly a bit longer.

I also agree with PP I wouldn't put speeches in between courses. Part of the nice thing being a guest at a wedding is catching up with friends and chatting. You'll interrupt the social flow of interaction at the tables if you force people to stop talking and listen in silence in between courses. I honestly wouldn't do this. Having the last speech prior to dessert is about ok but have all the others on arrival in the room if you do this.

Also agree re. singing waiters being cringe. Honestly OP, it's your wedding day. You've paid for them now so forget the cost, it's sunk cost now, you aren't getting it back whatever happens. So just think - do I really want singing waiters at my wedding? If the answer is yes - crack on. But if it's No, but you feel obliged because you've paid, really just cancel. You don't want to be looking back thinking, shit those bloody singing waiters I wish I hadn't done it.

Looks good, agree about the speeches we did them all at the start as the speakers were really nervous but if you're speakers are more confident could do them at the end. Also dinner took much much longer than I expected just by the time all the tables were served people chatting whilst eating, getting up to go to the bar as they wanted a specific drink stuff like that. So as long as you have that on contingency planning it looks good.

Also you must be a much nicer person than me if people left my wedding to watch the football I'd be raging and I'm from Glasgow where they take football far too seriously haha.

No comment on the timeline but I went to a wedding with singing waiters and it was brilliant. So much fun. You know your family / friends OP. If they are up for a laugh etc and you think they'll get involved go for it. Most people will have had a few drinks by then and it should keep the mood uplifted.

I think speeches between courses is difficult as the venue will be clearing away and serving new courses, there’s lots of coming and going and noise. It’s hard enough to time food for many without speeches running over and ruining it. I’d have them at then end when everyone is relaxed and can hear them.

Are you having any informal pictures?
We had ours during the drinks and canapés and got some great ones

All our speeches happened before the meal

Guests were not starving as already had canapés and the people giving the speeches wanted to just get it out the way so they could enjoy the meal/have a drink without feeling sick with nerves!

Singing waiters depends entirely on the crowd - you know them best!

We went to a wedding where there were singing waiters. They were excellent and as a surprise, one of the highlights of the day. Only the groom's parents knew about them.

For those saying cringe, no more cringe than an awfully staged first
Dance/group dance etc

Yes this is such a good point too. And don't forget, depending on how big the wedding is, it's likely tables won't be 100% in sync with the servings, there will always be a table served last and so you will either have to extend the period between courses to allow everyone to finish eating before the speeches start - thus stretching out the period sat at the table even more - or you will have some people still eating their previous course during the speeches.

I would also say - be really really sure you don't want any posed photos.
That's quite a big thing to not have.
Even if it's just a friend with a good phone.

I'd say there's a good chance the ceremony will overrun a bit. Even without a photographer guests will want to take photos straight after the ceremony, confetti, kissing, ooh let's have one of you with my children etc. It will happen and you can't say no without it seeming rude. We weren't going to have photos either but it just somehow turned into a little session that meant we were later starting the drinks bit.

You have to allow for humans being humans - someone wants to tell a joke, someone's lost something, a kid needs a wee, someone thinks this is the moment to present you with a gift and wants you to open it - and you've instantly lost 15 minutes.

Also you won't have time to talk to more than a few people in an hour over drinks. If this is the first time you'll have seen many of the guests it might be better to give yourself another half hour to accommodate what I said above.

The 7.55 etc timings are very rigid. Are you really going to be checking your watch on the night to make sure everyone's in place for their bit? I hope you're having such a good time you won't really mind what order everything happens in. Fine to have a detailed plan but don't worry if it all goes a bit to pot on the night. Just enjoy it.

I think that's too early to be eating. Very few people are in the habit of eating before about 5pm and I'd say 6pm was much more normal.

I'd put the catering back by at least an hour (though realise that might make the footie less easy to manage)

Sorry no help with the timeline but singing waiters are fab! They really help to get everybody on their feet and in the party spirit!

I would reconsider the speeches between courses and do them first.

I was at a wedding recently with singing waiters and it was great, they really got the crowd going and it meant the time between the meal finishing and the evening guests arriving went really quickly.

Depending on how many guests, and location for eating canapes vs the wedding breakfast, you might need a bit more time to get everyone seated. For a group of 100+, 15 minutes to move to a new room, find your table and get sat down feels tight.

Alternatively, your guests might be easier to herd than mine were!

Speeches early is good for the people giving the speeches to get it done and no longer have nerves. And the food is plenty early.

Thanks all! I'm glad to see people have enjoyed the singing waiters!

Really good points about speeches being between courses being awkward and tables served at different times. Not to mention some people being slower eaters! Neither the groom or best man is keen on public speaking and will be keeping them short but I'll ask them if they want to do them before we eat or after.

The only reason for such specific timing is the football - maybe England will go out in the group stages and save me the bother 🤞(I'm not that nice now!!) Does anybody know if games go to extra time in the first half??

When we sit down for dinner, it's just the other end of the room from the drinks but I'll definitely speak to the venue about what timing they need for all the stages and heed their advice!

Although I'm not having a proper photographer, my older brother used to have a side job as a wedding photographer and has a great camera. It often seems like he can't even go out for milk without taking 50 photos so I know he'll definitely be taking plenty of photos, we just don't want to go off and leave the guests to have photos taken somewhere else. Very good point made about having time to talk to everyone. We'll have about 80 guests and I want time to have a drink myself!!

Thabk you all so much, loads to add to my list to discuss with the venue!

Does anybody know if games go to extra time in the first half??

No, they don't.

45 mins: first half
15 mins: half time
45 mins: second half
variable: time added on for stoppages
Final whistle

But, if at final whistle it's a draw and a win is needed then it continues
30 mins: extra time (15 each way, brief break whilst they swop ends)

If still no result
variable: penalty shootout

People will want to watch the whole game if they can, but are (generally) more likely to put up with missing the start (esp as they usually show first half highlights during half time). But no-one will want to be peeled away from extra time or a penalty shootout

Thanks!! If it goes to penalties, I'd probably go down and watch it myself!!

I really don't mind when people come back up, will be an open bar in the reception but since the downstairs bar will have other people in it, they'll have to pay for drinks down there, so I do expect people will come back up!

I went to a couple of weddings with singing waiters last year and they were brilliant.

If you'd asked me beforehand I totally would have said they were cringe and not my thing but honestly everyone loved it.

It also got people energized again after a big meal and too much wine.

Timeline looks mostly good but agree about getting the speeches done all at once and split the band sessions in two.