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RSVPs one - need advice

3 replies

Charliehaus · 01/10/2022 22:31

Hello Mn,

we are getting married soon and our RSVP deadline for has now gone.

i have a ‘friend’ who i feel is purposely keeping me hanging and not replying. Tbh she makes zero effort and i wouldn’t have invited her but it’s to make one of my bridesmaids happy. We used to be good friends but it’s all one way effort which I have given up on.

She lives in the states with her husband and I heard nothing from her so I thought she may not have received our invite.i messaged her yesterday, a lovely message and asked if she received our invited. She replied ‘yes’
but still no rsvp (by now she surely would have had to book flights and know if she’s back in the uk). I do try and keep in contact but she ignores my messages most of the time and makes it very clear she’s bored etc

But I hear from my friend/bridesmaid second hand that she’s booked flights and coming to the wedding which I think is entitled if she has been off with me and hasn’t rsvp’d us. It’s also awkward and makes me feel crap that I hear this second hand. It’s like I’m not good enough to be spoken to directly.

the question is what do I do? Do I message her again and ask her to rsvp?
I know it sounds ridiculous but I’m quite uncomfortable with her and feel like I’m begging her to come or at least make a thing of it which I don’t want.

im no longer close to her and she always manages to make me feel silly and shit about myself.

I obviously need final numbers
if it wasn’t for my bridesmaid I would have completely broken off the friendship and just sent a message if at all to say the deadline has passed.

thank you x

OP posts:
Kite22 · 01/10/2022 23:12

I think you have tired being chatty /friendly / roundabout reminder, so now you have to be clear.
"Hello friend. We haven't had a reply from you regarding our wedding, so will assume you aren't able to make it unless you let us know differently by .......(give her about 24 hours). It is a shame but I understand it was always going to be difficult for you with the distance."

Charliehaus · 02/10/2022 08:15

Perfect than you
I know I’m over thinking it and I’ve tried to figure out why she’s doing it but ultimately it doesn’t matter
she’s get used to having people fall over her and do everything to keep themselves in her good books so a clear message like this will cut all the bullshit

OP posts:
Easterdaffsx · 24/10/2022 12:40

I wouldn't give her the headspace to try and figure out why she's doing it . This is about you not her and you're being very kind .
Do be firm and clear with your next message amd please let us know what happens ?
Have a lovely wedding .

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