Hen do etiquette

[smile993]

Do you invite the girlfriends/wives of the fiancés groomsmen? I’ve noticed recently in a few hens the partners of the groomsmen have been in attendance. I get on well with them, so don’t mind inviting them, but just wondered what the protocol is around this?

We don't have groomsmen in the uk , we just invite who we want to to the hen night.

I didn’t, DH had several best men and ushers and although I liked their other halves, they were very much friendships via the husbands rather than independent ones.

I didn’t, and I’m not familiar with that. If I were inviting some partners, I’d probably include all of them, but I don’t think you need to invite them if you don’t want to.

No, I don't think you have to.

DH is currently planning the stag do for his friend - he's the best man. I'm not invited to the hen do and I didn't expect to be, I don't really know the bride that well.

Depends on the type of hen do and how wide the guest list is? If you're not actual friends though I wouldn't expect to be invited if I was them.

Totally up to you. There's no set etiquette.

I think it depends on what kind of size you want. I wanted a small hen of my closest friends so didn’t invite husband’s friends’ partners.

I have been to some hen dos of people I only knew through my husband. Some were better than others - but they were big get together of 15-30 people or so. That just wasn’t the vibe I was going for, for my own.

The best starting place is to work out what you want to do and what kind of vibe, and then think about who you want to invite.

I didn’t invite ushers’ other halves.

’Ushers’ being British English for groomsmen.

I did invite the groomsman and the best man's girlfriends to my hen. I only had a night out in our local town so not a weekend away or anything like that.

I’ve been thinking about this myself even though my hen do is a while off. I have narrowed it down to inviting the girlfriend of my fiancé’s brothers and partners of groomsmen where I speak to them independently of my fiancé (eg. Have their number, meet up one on one). I won’t be inviting any random girlfriends but I want to invite a few to make up the numbers. I think it’s totally dependent on the relationship you have with these people.

also disagree re: ushers/groomsmen. I think usher is a specific role whereas groomsmen encompasses ushers and the best man/other people you want in the wedding. It may have started out as American but mn seems to have an issue with the evolution of language (see also: people complaining about use of invite v invitation)