Parents fall out

[Jojobibs2102]

me and my husband recently got married in Italy 2 years after we should of because of the pandemic. We had 30 guest originally but due to changing circumstances people pulled out including 3 out my 5 bridesmaids which we understood Two months before the wedding my parents and sister said they couldn’t come we understood why coz of money but my parents have thrown there toys out the pram and said we should change the wedding and get married over here and had a blessing over in Italy the paperwork had been already done you cannot just change a wedding to suit them my dad dropped it we got married last week and he rang me up saying how upset him and my mum are and we should have sat down with them and discussed the wedding before we booked it so it accommodated them and not what we want. He has said some nasty things about my husband over the years like cut my daughter out because we didn’t get christened ive tryed to keep a relationship with him and keep the peace for the sake of his grandchildren but my husband wanted nothing to do with him so he accused us off cutting him and my mum out we tryed with them but they are always busy when we asked them to have the kids so we gave up asking my inlaws are amazing and drop everything to see the kids and help with childcare. After I finally stood up to him after years off just agreeing with him to keep the peace he asked if my husband hit me i said no he hasnt and my dad said well it sounds like he controls you i work for my dad and hes cut off my mat pay what should i do i feel like ive tried to do the right thing over the years by brushing over his nasty comments

Sorry to add we offered to pay for them to go the wedding but they refused the money

Your post is quite difficult to understand.

I think you're saying:
-your wedding was postponed 2 years because of pandemic. Your parents and sister didn't come because of the cost and are upset with you for not changing the venue. You offered to pay but they refused.

• Your father has badmouthed your partner because your daughter isn't christened?
• so your husband wants nothing to do with your parents.
• your father suggested your husband is controlling
• your father is your employer and has stopped your mat pay.
• you tried with them but they are always busy when you ask them to look after the kids.

There are 2 things: your relationship with your parents and your mat pay. Which one are you more bothered about?

Yes sorry writing this while trying to sooth a teething baby lol

its more the relationship with the parents im asking advice on sorry for the confusion x

The only way to fix this is to cut contact with your parents. What father stops his daughter's maternity pay? It's criminal and the answer is a controlling one. He's accusing your husband of what he himself is doing.

Get advice from ACAS on the pay being stopped. You're in for a very rough time, but your husband and child are your family and your husband has your back. I think you're going to have to find a new job. Cut the ties.

Hi thanks im in the process of looking for a new job atm my hands are tied til September when my oldest starts school but i only have 3 weeks off sat mat pay left ive spoken to acas who have told me to talk hmrc next week is my last week off pay so gonna give him til then to pay me.

my husband has been amazing and his inlaws and your right my father is very controlling and ive tried for years not to upset him and now I've bit back hes hates it .
thank you. Xx

It's a bit weird that you're saying yourve tried with them but they're always busy when you want them to look after the kids. They aren't oblibgated to babysit, and that isn't the definition of a good grandparental relationship