Hi all,
I’m getting married in two months and I’ve got to finalise the seating plan to send off to the venue and the designer doing our stationary by the end of the week.
My fiancée’s (DF) mum has remarried so on the Top Table we have me and DF, my parents, DF’s parents and best man (bridesmaids are sat with their partners on other tables). The one potential issue we have is regarding DF’s younger brother (8). We have seated him with his dad (DF’s Stepdad), with other family including DF’s other younger brother, on the table closest to us. The youngest brother is not well behaved and is very used to getting his own way. Whenever we visit their house, we are all told where to sit. Whenever we go out for family meals (such as this past weekend), he decides who is to sit where. Even if people arrive to a meal before him, they are made to move. Everyone is told by DF’s mum and stepdad to do as he says as he will otherwise get angry, upset or have a meltdown. He has been known to physically push or pull people if they are seated and don’t move to where he wants them to.
Typically, he wants to sit by me and my DF, and I usually put up with this as the parents ask me to to prevent a meltdown, however it tends to be hard work and he doesn’t give me a minute (e.g. takes my food from my plate, puts his on mine, drinks my drink, puts stuff in my drink, cuts over me if I’m speaking to others and tells me to stop speaking to other people, rubs his mouth on my shoulders after eating instead of using a napkin etc). I put up with it usually to keep the peace but I really don’t want this on my wedding day as it is quite exhausting, and he has dirtied or ruined clothes of mine in the past or left me having to order new drinks or food after he’s spoilt it. I tend not to go to family meals anymore because it’s too much.
I am just concerned that he will kick off and possibly have a meltdown (which can be violent) if he isn’t allowed to sit with me and DF. I would love to say I could speak to DF’s mum and stepdad about this but they enable this behaviour, and they will just expect that we give in to him and force us to move him to the Top Table next to us.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? I have already made all children attending a goodie bag for the table but I’m not sure it will be sufficient as he’s so used to getting his own way.
Also, it may already be obvious but I don’t have children of my own although there are plenty of others coming and I don’t know any others who behave like this really, so hard to know how to broach it.