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Original poster

Wedding 'planner' - AIBU?

16 replies

brideybride · 09/06/2022 10:12

I booked my wedding end of last year, it's an outdoor venue that has a load of 'glamping pods' for all our guests to stay in. Besides the pods and general nice scenery it was a completely blank canvas and we have hired everything. I have spent days phoning, researching, booking various suppliers for all of our tipis, to our food trucks, to our bands, to our kids entertainment etc. I've found and booked 28 different suppliers! The venue are lovely and have helped me a lot, but the booking included a wedding planner, a separate woman, who apart from emailing me every few weeks asking for an updated list of suppliers has done absolutely nothing. She hasn't planned a thing! She text this morning to say she won't be able to make the wedding now, but will do a full hand over to the venue owner so she can run the day with me, but that she knows the wedding will be beautiful and make sure I tag her in the photos so she can share them to her page. Eh?! I'm not tagging a wedding planner in all of my wedding pictures of a wedding that I planned by my bloody self. It is going to be beautiful and that's down to me not you Grin AIBU? I do want to give feedback to the venue owner after that the wedding planner, if factored into the price I paid, is not worth it and doesn't actually plan anything but I don't want to sour what is otherwise shaping up to be lovely. But I draw the line at giving her any credit Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
brideybride · 09/06/2022 13:08

yanbu

OP posts:
Original poster
brideybride · 09/06/2022 13:09

voting for myself as no one else came Grin

OP posts:
COL1N · 09/06/2022 13:12

Yes I would feel the same as you! Maybe give the feedback after the wedding/ honeymoon etc.

gemsbubbles · 09/06/2022 13:15

Oh dear

Do not tag her in any pictures. Don't let her benefit from your hard work.
Od be tempted after the wedding to suggest to the venue owner that she was useless (in a nicer way 😂)

Hope you have a lovely wedding x

Cocobeau · 09/06/2022 13:18

I'm wondering if you have misunderstood the purpose of the venues wedding planner. Normally a wedding planner for the venue is there to coordinate any arrangements you have made so that they can make sure things run properly on the day, they wouldn't typically be getting involved in any bookings, etc. Well, that's my understanding from when I was planning mine. You'd need to pay separately for an independent planner if you were looking for someone to help get involved in sourcing and booking external companies. But you've saved yourself a load of cash because you've done it yourself anyway.

autienotnaughty · 09/06/2022 13:30

A wedding planner who is part of the venue is different to a wedding planner you hire separately. The venue wedding planners job is to take the booking, deal with any in-house arrangements, take payments and co ordinate on the day. They wouldn't typically deal with any external arrangements ie caterers until they arrive on the day.

Original poster
brideybride · 09/06/2022 13:31

Cocobeau · 09/06/2022 13:18

I'm wondering if you have misunderstood the purpose of the venues wedding planner. Normally a wedding planner for the venue is there to coordinate any arrangements you have made so that they can make sure things run properly on the day, they wouldn't typically be getting involved in any bookings, etc. Well, that's my understanding from when I was planning mine. You'd need to pay separately for an independent planner if you were looking for someone to help get involved in sourcing and booking external companies. But you've saved yourself a load of cash because you've done it yourself anyway.

Perhaps I have but i don't feel like she's done anything to arrange the day at all, I wrote the order or service / itinerary for the day and sent it to her and I arranged what time suppliers come to set up etc. Where does she come in?! If her only thing was 'running the day' she isn't doing that anyway - so why should she use my photos?

OP posts:
Original poster
brideybride · 09/06/2022 13:32

She didn't take my booking, all payments for the wedding and pods has been done directly with the venue and she's not going to be there on the day. She has literally emailed me twice asking for a list of suppliers - that's the only contact we've ever had until her asking to be tagged and use my pics.

OP posts:
Marblessolveeverything · 09/06/2022 13:37

You are mixing up a Clients wedding planner and a Venues wedding planner. Their job is to do the background stuff on the day depending on what the venue offers. You are talking about tasks a Clients wedding planner would do.

Original poster
brideybride · 09/06/2022 13:44

Ok understood that I've mixed them up, but still considering what she's done (email twice) and the fact she isn't there on the day I still don't understand why I would tag her so she can share the pics to her business page? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Cocobeau · 09/06/2022 14:57

You'd need to ask the venue for the finer details on what her role actually is (I assume they just provide her as part of the package and not an extra you'd paid for) but someone on the day needs to make sure those people know where to be once they're at the venue, where to set up, etc. I guess she's asking for photos because it's part of her job to promote events that the venue hold but just don't tag her.

MarpleFan · 09/06/2022 18:21

I'm a wedding planner and have worked both for venues and clients directly. As others have said, when I worked in a venue it was more to ensure that the day ran smoothly from the venue's perspective, and whilst I would recommend suppliers, I never dealt with the planning of external items at all.

Now I work directly for my clients, I am involved in every aspect of the planning from the very beginning. I do agree with others thought, tag the venue, but not her; even when I worked venue-side I built up a relationship with the bride and groom, and she clearly hasn't done this at all.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 09/06/2022 18:32

If she's not even there on the day, she can't be smoothing things out for the venue when your wedding is happening. I would certainly be passing on feedback that the venue needs to clarify the role of this so-called wedding planner for future clients

xraydelta · 09/06/2022 21:44

A venue wedding planner's job is to make sure what YOU book (as that definitely isn't her job!) fulfils basic health and safety, won't burn the place down, etc. They should make sure your suppliers can park, can access plug sockets, isn't going to endanger the venue.

violetanemone · 14/06/2022 07:06

I'm wondering if you voiced any of this to them? If you didn't actually say anything to them about what you wanted at the time, it's not really reasonable to be upset about it. What would you have liked them to do that they haven't?

It's a shame she can't be there on the day but then you do have to remember this is work to her, and sometimes things come up. Someone else will take over and do just as good a job.

If you don't want to tag them in your photos then don't - I don't see why that's a big deal at all.

Misty84 · 14/06/2022 07:11

YANBU- I wouldn’t tag her if she hasn’t done anything helpful and isn’t even going to be there!

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