What to cut from wedding?

[WeddingOnAShoeString]

Hi,

I posted before about us wanting do get married on a budget and got some very helpful advice about village halls but I think we have decided it’s not for us.

We are currently looking at registry office and then bbq at a bar which is free to hire and costs are something like:
Ceremony £700
Possible drinks reception at RO: £400
Food: £800 (80 guests, £10/head)

I think my parents will probably cover some
of the bar bill but I’m happy to just put “cash bar” on the invitation especially if we do the small drinks reception.

So now I am looking at things we can omit/change and this is what I have so far:
-DB is a chef so going to ask him to make the cake
-future BIL is a graphic designer so going to ask him to do the stationery. he is also into photography so we are thinking of just hiring someone for the ceremony/portraits as future BIL will probably take lots of really good photos anyway because it’s what he likes to do.
-future FIL has an old classic car so we could ask him to use that to get there
-high street wedding dress, I have seen some lovely ones at coast/phase eight
-plant a rose bush in the garden and use them as button holes. A bouquet I can just buy from sainsburys the day before
-no band/DJ? Just use sound system at venue, DB did this and it was fine.

Does this sound okay or is it too miserly/depressing?

Any other suggestions for cost cutting?

We did ours fairly frugaly

Ditch invites all together not worth the stamp money and they literally go in the bin or get lost.

We had a wedding website which must've cost £20 for a year, doddle to set up all drag and drop. I'm sure there are free options if you're not overly precious. And it stops people asking inane questions because EVERYTHING can go on there... Location, times, food, menu, RSVP, recommended local accommodation, transportation and we even had bars, restaurants and stuff to do if they arrived earlier. I got ZERO pestering and it was the best thing.

Then invites were sent by email for free. You can design the email using a free thing like MailChimp or you can just use your bog standard email address (gmail/Hotmail) if you want a fancy invite get DB to pdf it and attach it. If you think it looks tight just say you're saving trees.

In terms of flowers, check if you have a small local flower farm or grower. Ask on a local Facebook group. I found one who's sell cheap buckets of flowers, you couldn't choose colours it was just what needed to be picked there was enough to decorate our tables that I just stuffed them in any receptacle I could get for free off FB (jam jar, milks bottles etc. And she also made them into button holes and a mini bouquet relatively affordably. I've also seen dried flowers as an option, done well it can look beautiful and is a nice keepsake.

We rented a great space but the chairs were dark blue. All other weddings had spent money on those naff chair covers. I got quoted £££ to do that. So instead we found a bulk load of the same blue table cloths on eBay for a bargain AND sold them for pretty much the same price straight after. It actually worked really well.

I guess what I'm saying is make the best of what you can, work with your budget and try not to compare yourself to the "ideal" £££ white wedding. It can actually be fun, especially when you put your personality into it.

Don't bother with a rose, just buy carnations from the supermarket. Aldi have the best value flowers. Are you sure about the £10 a head for a bbq, seems very reasonable. Do check charity shops for dresses, larger oxfam's often have a department, the hospice shop I volunteer with has them at one branch

I would also do email invitations (saves people the stamp to return it) and design it yourself, there's even templates on Microsoft publisher if you have it

£10 a head for food sounds pretty grim. I'd cut numbers.

Sorry OP but I agree with this (unless you've been to one of their £10 bbqs and enjoyed it). I recently had to organise one for work that cost £15 a head and although it was ok for the occasion (basically cheap sustenance) I wouldn't serve it for a celebration. It was very average burgers and sausages in dry budget buns with sauce. The salads were cheap and cheerful pasta salad, couscous and potato salad. It's a lot of money to spend for something people might moan about (people moaning about wedding food is my pet peeve but it happens so often!). It would be better to spend that £800 on better food for fewer people.

Bear in mind when asking favours... fair enough ask bil to bake the cake but the ingredients will cost a lot. Are you going to offer to pay? Look up ingredients for a wedding cake for 80 guests including icing and add up how much that costs. Your probably easily looking at £80 just on ingredients.

As per pp, cut the photographer, let people know you're not having a photographer and so you'd appreciate them sending you photos they take. Camera phones are so good now days you'll get decent photos. Don't and bil to be photographer and do invites. Again with invites, printing on decent paper isn't cheap. Offer to cover that cost and let him decide if he wants to make it your wedding gift.

Totally agree with email invitations! Makes it much easier to reply too so less chasing. Paperless post is good and helps you track responses.

No need for cake AND pudding. One or the other.

Playlist and sound system sounds great. Ask guests for song suggestions so you have a full dance floor? (Again, much easier by email)

I didn’t have “bridesmaids” - one friend got ready with me and travelled there with me. So no bridesmaid dresses.

Supermarket flowers totally fine. If you need flowers at all… you could use something like this which has lots of impact for less money than flowers.

Photographer was the best money we spent. But it was a while ago when phone cameras were rubbish!

What is the breakdown for £700 for the registry office, it doesnt cost anything like that unless you are hiring a very large room, can you cut the cost there.

You'll have to offer money to your brother for the cake. It will cost him a lot of money and time.

We didn't bother with a cake and nobody noticed or cared.

A BBQ at a bar, the OP is not likely to be doing table plans/ names, favours now is she?!?!

I wouldn't bother with a photographer tbh. Most photos I've seen are so staged and guests hate waiting around for photos to be finished. I would just ask everybody to take lots of pictures throughout the day.

^I completely disagree with this. Photographer is the one thing I wouldn’t scrimp on

We had a relative bake our cake but we still paid for the ingredients… don’t assume people will work for free.

DB is a chef so going to ask him to make the cake can he make cakes? And decorate them? It will cost him money to get the ingredients.

Future BIL is a graphic designer so going to ask him to do the stationery. he is also into photography so we are thinking of just hiring someone for the ceremony/portraits as future BIL will probably take lots of really good photos anyway because it’s what he likes to do.

Just print something off yourself it doesn't have to be fancy. BIL might get pissed and not want to take photos. Also photographers often have a minimum block of time. But yes don't need them for anything other than the ceremony and a bit after.

Future FIL has an old classic car so we could ask him to use that to get there you could or you could book a nice taxi if not.
high street wedding dress, I have seen some lovely ones at coast/phase eight good idea or monsoon. Also check out ebay for 2nd hand ones.
plant a rose bush in the garden and use them as button holes. A bouquet I can just buy from sainsburys the day before I would personally just go to a florist and ask for some in season flowers. Don't risk having random flowers from sainsburys they might not have any that day.

no band/DJ? Just use sound system at venue, DB did this and it was fine yep fine.

If you really really want to save money try and cut down on the reception just have the drinks reception and canapés?

When you ask these people do make it clear they can say no. Otherwise they might feel a bit used.

Yes hi sorry I wasn’t clear I’m not going to ask BIL to take photos for that reason - so he can enjoy the day. I just know he is very likely to simply do it of his own volition because he enjoys it!

Hi, I would pay for the ingredients or suggest he buys them in Lieu of a wedding gift. I haven’t said I am expecting him to do it for free.

BIL I just want to design them and then I will print them cheaply on Snapfish or similar. Sorry that wasn’t clear

@WeddingOnAShoeString

it sounds lovely.

honest to God some people have some odd ideas!! (& family/friends) Ask YOUR family, they sound 'normal' x

SIL/bridesmaid is pretty good at hair though so I suppose I could ask her to do something a bit different when we are getting ready anyway

i would ask her in advance as she might prefer to have a practice session!! I'd happily do it for you, but would want to do it beforehand, under less pressure & give me an opportunity to get whatever I felt I needed. Bun ring/clips/net whatever spray, specifically comb...

will your DB decorate your cake or will you need to buy something to top it with.

mum & I used to make the wedding cake for all friends/family. I have very fond memories of sitting for hours making the flowers 🌸

Do ask someone to be in charge of the music at the venue, the last thing you need is for you or DH to be sorting it on the day!

hope you have a wonderful day! & a great marriage x

Cut numbers. It’s really what makes the biggest difference to everything from food to chair hire to favours. 80’s a lot actually.
Don’t do a posh wedding on a shoestring. A big informal bash is brilliant as long as there is more than enough free food and drink. Music is fine through a digital playlist. I’m going to one in a country pub soon as just a good night out to celebrate which will be perfect

I sort of agree about the photographer. We were lucky that we had a few people take photos but maybe we have 3 that are really good to put up on a shelf. We did have enough nice ones to make into photo books and calendars which were ideal inexpensive presents.I’d get a keen student do it for cash though. No one needs an expensive album of photo after 6 months.

If your brother is a pastry chef ask him to make a croquembouche for your cake and it will double as pudding if you add toffee sauce and ice cream.

It's a cone of profiteroles wrapped in spun sugar. I made one for a relative's wedding.

Sounds a bit like my wedding. We had registry office. My dress came from wed2be with two adult bm dresses and 3 flower girls. I paid for mine, bm and dd flower girl alterations. Shoes were from simply be. Had hair and make up done. Reception was in a room at a social club with a street food van, DH's band and his cousins band played. No Dj. Sil decorated the room. Flowers were from mil allotment. Everyone bought their own drinks. Photographer was DH's uncle and his best man (army photographer), no cars just taxis. It was a lovely day

Oh and sil and DH's auntie made our buttonholes.

Oh, I had just assumed op was still paying for the paper and ingredients.

printing invitations is where the expense really lies. You can design your own with free software pretty easily. You can get a better design from someone with talent. Even relatively cheap paper can add up quickly so you do have to be careful there.

quality cake ingredients are shockingly expensive, especially if purchased retail. You wouldn’t believe how much it can cost to make just a birthday cake from scratch. If you want to get help from a family member here and money is an issue, you need to be flexible and what gets produced. Some Supermarkets will actually even do wedding cakes, or get a very small wedding cake for cutting and then serve sheet cakes.

Mine was well cheap, £3k for everything but that was ten years ago.

Flowers were a wedding gift from my parents
My dad took me in his car
Didn't have a photographer
Venue was £500
Went to a French supermarket for booze £500
Friends' band played
Dress from John Lewis £100
iPod disco
Food was similar style to yours £500
Dad made cakes
Hen do activity was making decorations for the hall
Bridesmaids dresses were £9 in the sale each
Hair and make up by my mum
Suit was a wedding gift from BIL
Invites husband designed and printed online
No favours
My ring was my nans old one, £50 for groom

It was v relaxed and easy! I loved my shoestring version

Following! This is how weddings used to be and should be now. It sounds brill.

A few of my friends have had weddings like this and its so much more fun without the pomp and ceremony, it also feels more 'real' and loving somehow.