Would like to chat about wedding ideas with people, but they all tell me my way is wrong

[ColourfulOnesie]

That was a long title but didn’t know how else to put it

Basically people keep asking me how wedding planning is going, so we start to tell them little ideas we’ve had or things we are thinking of, only to then have to sit and listen to how they would do it, what they did at their wedding, how what we want is too expensive or not the traditional way, why are you inviting that person, why aren’t you inviting this person or something else negative and I end up annoyed and desperate to change the subject

I know the answer; stop talking about it, but I really actually want to talk about it, and bounce some ideas around, I’m excited and it’s a lot to plan and would like a bit of a sounding board and to be able to say ‘what do you think?’ But people just want to push their opinions on us and it’s really annoying me now

There’s also a family member who keeps very aggressively telling me to do what I want, but then goes into a big spiel where they tell me what they think I want and that I should just do that!

Does anyone else find this? Or do you have normal helpful people in your lives who you can chat with?

My mum picked holes in everything I talked about so I stopped talking to her about it and just told her once things were booked.
I also had a family member who told me repeatedly that their best advice was to do things how I wanted and not worry about pleasing other people - yet it was him and his wife who were then unhappy that I didn’t do something they wanted me to do

My only thought about first dance is, assuming you are having some music, people do take the first dance as a “sign” it’s okay to get on the dance floor. Both DH and I (mainly me) cringed at the idea of a “romantic” first dance so we chose something that was a bit different, got on the dancefloor for the first verse then quickly waved everyone else onto the dance floor to join us. Once they’d had the green light the floor filled up and we were free to go and do something else! Friends of ours at a previous wedding had no first dance so DH and I ended up heading to the floor just to break the awkwardness of the DJ playing to an empty floor - we eventually got the bride and groom to join us for a song and then everyone piled on.

I got married late last year and used a Reddit subreddit r/UKweddings useful to anonymously bounce ideas or idea check.

www.reddit.com/r/UKweddings/

The solution is Pinterest.

Pin wedding ideas to your heart's content. Share ideas with some close friends or whoever will be your bridesmaids.

Then narrow them down.

Stop asking people questions like 'Green or blue - what do you think?'

You are just going to hear what people think that way, and obv that's not what you want.

Your mum seems to have a lot of drama going on on her life. Steer completely clear of her in the planning process. If she asks, tell her everything is well in hand and you're pleased with the way it's all shaping up, then change the subject to your mother - any recent illness or event she's been to, any opinion she has on any topic other than your wedding.