The best wedding you've ever been to – what made it so great?

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What's the best wedding you've ever attended as a guest - and why was it so good? Hopefully a lovely positive wedding thread!

My wedding is coming up this September (two years postponed) and we're very excited. We want to make it a really great day for our guests as well – they've also waited a long time and most are travelling a fair distance – so I'm keen to hear what people always appreciate the most at weddings, and what elevates one from 'ok' to 'amazing' for a guest. We have our own ideas of this based on friends' weddings but keen to hear others' experiences!

The best ones I’ve been to and worked at were the ones that the couple could actually afford.

I’ve lost count of the number of times couples have booked an expensive venue and then fleece their guests to cover it including selling rooms back to their guests and making more than the wedding cost and getting all their friends to an Italian villa for a 4 day wedding party in summer, charging for the rooms and getting a load of cheap plonk from the supermarket that they sold to their guests. Along with charging for all meals apart from the wedding breakfast.

The best ones are where guests comfort and convenience has been thought about rather than using their nearest and dearest as a meal ticket for their insta wedding.

church with half an hour of venue/ sandwiches/snack type things after ceremony; speeches before the meal and a really good wide-ranging band - i.e play rock, pop, oldies, can do requests (followed by dj). Good choice of food on menu and a hotel where the garden is accessible, or the room is bright. Late night finger food for the dancing crowd. The photos are the one blasted thing that puts a downer on it sometimes. Having been a bridesmaid and a bride, 3 hours of photos is too much - just pick a hotel where they are taken on the grounds and be done with them - forget about a photo with 50 people in it, from one side of the family and then the other side and then both combined. Oh and if child-free wedding and people have special requests for kids, just let them come. They will figure it out themselves and I have noticed sometimes they are really appreciated there. A good band will make or break it though.

sorry church within half an hour of venue

Ive never been to one I enjoyed, but the ones that were least painful did not have long boring speeches, did not make me sing hymns, did not require black tie and had decent vegetarian food. I stopped accepting wedding invitations a long time ago, anyone who says people rave about theirs years later have kind friends.

The one that particularly stands out was a fairly simple affair followed by a church hall type place reception. All pretty simple and low key but there was just so much love and happiness about. Plenty of food expertly catered by friends, lots of wine and beer and a band for dancing later on. Makes me wonder if those aren't the best kind rather than the fancy expensive do's on some hotels "production line".

My daughter went to her first wedding reception at home rather than a hotel a short walk up the road from the church, and found it the nicest one she'd been to, homegrown ones seem to have something quite special which is hard to describe.

As a guest the best wedding experience was an Italian one. Amalfi coast, amazing views and no expense spared on food - there was a stupendous buffet which was just a warm-up to a multi-course meal which was gorgeous.

The ones that have been most fun have been where you meet up with old friends you haven’t seen in ages, but with whom everything just slots back into place. I couldn’t care less about the food or waiting about a bit on those occasions.

Good food and free drinks and the ambiance/venue

Ok, I would never classify this as the best, and besides, I wasn’t there. I read about it in my favorite columnist’s column in our large local paper. He didn’t name names, and I’ve always wondered who their last names were because there were only a few extremely rich families in our locality.

Evidently, he’d been at the wedding of two children of two extremely wealthy local families the prior weekend, where all the hoi palloi of the city had turned out. This was California.

Everything was beautifully decorated in the big cathedral, lots of expensive flowers & what-not, and the groom and his groomsmen filed out at the front, along with the priest.

The bride, on her father’s arm, came floating down the aisle in her very expensive designer wedding dress.

When she got to the front, she turned around and addressed the guests, including her family and the groom’s family: “Thank you all for coming. Last night I caught my groom in bed having sex with my maid-of-honour, so we won’t be having a wedding today. But please let’s have the party anyway, since Daddy spent all that money and it’s not refundable.”

The columnist said the whole church was silent, and that they did have that big party — and everyone was there except the groom and the maid-of-honour.

I SWEAR I READ THIS IN THE PAPER IN THE 80s and I’ve always wanted to tell the story.

I can’t even imagine.

All the best ones have had a late afternoon ceremony, short and sweet speeches ( before dinner ) free flowing drinks and plenty of lovely food. No posed photographs just one group one and an editorial style through the evening.

Wedding service in a lovely old convict build church, then straight onto a boat for the reception which was a cruise and seafood buffet around Sydney Harbour. Open bar as is (or was - haven't been to a wedding for ages) the norm at Australian weddings.

At a tiny wedding in their home, the groom played his guitar and bride sang along, (musicians) it was spontaneous and special.

It was a themed wedding held at a castle, formal dress, masquerade, titled: Phantom of the Flopera.

The bride was an old family friend of my boyfriend. Each of us received a personal invitation that was top secret and you were instructed not to show it to any of the other invitees.

The wedding reception was a murder mystery. The invite contained your character description, clues to follow and help you solve the mystery, the names of the other characters you were supposed to find and the questions you were supposed to ask them.

Apart from my boyfriend I did not know anyone at this wedding. But I met so many great people. Everyone got right into the murder mystery, played their roles, participated and we all had so much fun.

Sometimes, back then, I could get social anxiety, especially if I am in a group where everyone knows each other but I don’t.

This murder mystery where we had to seek out and approach the person playing a character listed in your invite really created an easy way to socialise.

Everything was great about this wedding, the beautiful location, the banquet table, the food, candlelight just all added to the atmosphere.

@ImustLearn2Cook that sounds amazing

Bacon rolls. With ketchup.

I went to a society wedding that had two punch ups 'Twas most entertaining.

One where we were asked to bring the food. It meant we could bring snacks, our own meal and food to share. Everyone was well fed, we all talked to each other (around 70 guests) and we saved the B+G some money!

THE no1 piece of advice I can give would be to make each guest know you really appreciate them coming.

You don't have to actually say that but be really enthusiastic and warm to see all your guests when you interact with each. Attending weddings is expensive and takes a long time.

You'd be amazed how many weddings we've been to over the years, of varying budgets, where everything had been expertly planned and perfectly executed, but that the bride, groom and often the bride's parents, were so tense throughout that the vibe really dipped unfortunately.

The day was basically about making sure the guests were comfortable and well fed.

And this!!

My parents once went to a very extravagant wedding and came home after the church service to eat at home, as they were fed up waiting around while all the photos were being taken. They then went back for the evening reception!

My daughter's. Everything was organised by us with a rustic, intimate feel. It was at a small local church and we walked to the village hall afterwards. We had outside caterers who did an amazing job of decorating the church and hall. The food was superb and we had a great band in the evening who did a nice blend of Scottish and well known tunes. Everything was local and we had guests from all over Europe - lots of people said it was the best wedding they'd been too.

Big country house, really informal, games in the garden like sports day or croquet but only for those who wanted it. No posed boring photos (and yes, I did them at mine, wouldn't again), amazing food, at hte right times. Ceremony was before lunch, lunch was the 'wedding breakfast', food again in the evening, snacks available.

Rooms inside with tea / coffee etc for those who wanted to chill.

Great DJ in the evening, we're a bit old school raver and it was fab, but everyone was engaged and dancing.

Pretty much what i wanted but somehow got steamrollered into the performance wedding.

Oh my gosh this is WILD!! Props to the bride for reacting that way - but how incredibly awkward!

Free bar, ideally for the whole wedding.
Flip flops for the ladies.
A great selection of music from a range of eras.
Plenty of food available and as soon as you get to the reception. Not necessarily really fancy food either but food that most people will snack on before main meal.
Bride and groom both separately making the effort to speak to all guests, even very briefly.

Lots of nibbles & drinks (hard & soft) during the photos & mingling bit. Make sure you nominate a runner to bring the bride & groom some too.

No seating plan apart from the top table so guests could sit with their friends.

A water butt full of Pimms. Plenty of ice / soft drinks if the weather's good.

Clearly labelled parking (What3Words is good for this) so you don't end up with stressed guests arriving late when they can't park near the location. We had no parking at our wedding, so got people to park at the local station (free on Saturdays) and laid on a bus taking people to & from the church & the reception.

Separate area (but in ear shot) with Lego, colouring, bubble wands, etc to keep the Small guests occupied during the speeches.

Do people actually wear the free flip-flops??

Actually, I wouldn't bother with an evening "do" at all - they are pretty grim. You really only need the ceremony & a decent meal (ie good quality restaurant food or even just a nice, informal village hall). People can make their own arrangements in the evening if they want to party. I think the more low key the better, and just a couple of dozen guests, tops - for me that would be good friends only & ditch the relatives. But the point is that everyone is different, so really couples should just do what they want & not let other people try to influence them.