The best wedding you've ever been to – what made it so great?

[PRB18]

What's the best wedding you've ever attended as a guest - and why was it so good? Hopefully a lovely positive wedding thread!

My wedding is coming up this September (two years postponed) and we're very excited. We want to make it a really great day for our guests as well – they've also waited a long time and most are travelling a fair distance – so I'm keen to hear what people always appreciate the most at weddings, and what elevates one from 'ok' to 'amazing' for a guest. We have our own ideas of this based on friends' weddings but keen to hear others' experiences!

I added up recently that I've attended 25 different weddings (I'm 33) and in all honesty, the most enjoyable ones keep it short but sweet. So afternoon ceremony, no 3 hour wait in the middle when the couple are off having photos, 10pm finish. Every one leaves on a high wanting more.

The best weddings have the following:

Late afternoon ceremony in the venue where meal and dancing will follow

Lots of champagne and canapés after ceremony

Less than half an hour of photos

Delicious food served by 6pm

Copious amounts of wine on tables

Live music and a brilliant band

A long bar with great beer

Bacon rolls later on along with cakes and cups of tea

Just saying!

Family made the effort to come from far and wide. We will never be together again like that and we knew on the day it was special so nothing taken for granted. Absolute joy.

Not loads of hanging around between bits. The best was a friend's which started around 2pm, a short ceremony in a beautiful room, then immediately into canapés and drinks in a gorgeous garden while they had some quick photos done. That was quickly followed by a Mediterranean style bbq in a lovely airy dining area, then drinks in the garden. Then for the reception people could just flow into different lounges for quieter time, garden for fresh air, bars or dance floor areas for louder and livelier types. The evening buffet was mini fish and chips and burgers which were delicious and were served quite early. So basically short time with no waiting, plenty of space, good food and generous portions, and choice of seating options were the key factors.

The worst was one which started in the morning, long ceremony and guests had to wait for over an hour without any food or drink (at lunch time) while the wedding party had photos done, then after the mediocre meal was finally served in a very dark room, we all had to clear out quickly for about 3/4 hours while they re-set for the reception. The hotel was in the middle of nowhere so if you didn't have a room you were screwed. There was 1 small drafty lounge area for about 80 guests and limited seats, plus no bar was open. All I remember from that wedding is the time endlessly dragging and we were very tempted to just leave.

An area for children, table with creative, colouring in books, paper, pens etc. yea and coffee area. Pick and mix sweet table. .

A friend who I know is on here too. Nice wedding service, marquee in garden, great food, great people, great food, spotify playlist and drinks provided. It was just a lovely day.

I like a good dance so a band or ceilidh always wins me over. Good food. Fun people to talk to.don’t mind a paid bar.

Went to one at the weekend which had an outside terrace AND a room with comfy sofas - both ideal places to talk to friends, rather than being stuck in the room with music & people dancing. People do need a choice of spaces - not everyone wants to be jammed into a disco.

In the same venue or short drive
Good parking/accommodation
Reasonable guest list
No earlier than 2pm start
Short photo session or entertainment/canapés/drinks provided while bride and groom are being snapped
Plenty of food
Short speeches
Entertainment after the meal until the night do
Dj at the night do
Good buffet
Photo booth
Plenty of room to dance

Best wedding I've been to was in Cyprus 5* hotel stunning views. 30 of us there for the week. Beautiful.

I've been to several weddings and the things that stand out, for me, are the following:

• a long reception with free-flowing champagne/bubbles with canapes instead of starters


• A string quartet or similar playing during the drinks reception


• No hanging around for photos. At my wedding we actually took all the photos of me and DH before (believe it or not, it was lovely), then very brief family ones before just one big one with everyone - virtually no waiting around for guests (it's the most boring thing otherwise, or weddings where you have a break between the wedding, go to a pub and then on to the venue - really hate that)


• Free bar (even if it is for wine/beer/prosecco only - spirits to be paid for)


• No children (unless babies/toddlers - and provide a childminder and separate area for them). Parents have much more fun without their kids unless they're 12/13 and over


• I prefer a DJ to a band, personal taste


• Food in the evening


• Don't do the whole favours thing really, can be a bit naff

:)

A chap we know has made a lot of money in his career but remains down to earth along with his wife who is a bundle of fun. They had a wedding which in ways was similar to our own but on a much grander scale. Same small church, big crowd shoulder to shoulder, we got talking to strangers fairly quickly, 2pm wedding, quick crowd photos in churchyard, off to hotel about 20-25 minutes away. Hotel was much posher than ours was, lovely drinks reception and endless canapés on arrival whilst the B&G were still having photos. Lovely grounds to walk in on a beautiful sunny day. Amazing dinner, almost endless drinks, late buff. Snappy speeches. Chap had loads of connections in the music industry, names known nationally and internationally, music composed especially for the church, string quartet when you arrived at the hotel, warm-up band after dinner, huge show-band with guest spots, late DJ and, finally, an amazing sing-song. They spent a shed load of money on their day but spent it wisely on guest comfort - really great music and food, and spent far less proportionately on things like flowers, dress, suits. That wedding rocked from start to finish.

We took a similar approach with our wedding - it was more about guest comfort and entertainment and less about dress and decor. No point in spending lots of money on tarting up a room as once you fill it with people that's what's important. No one is going to remember a wedding for the seat covers or the floral arrangements (unless they are so over the top you might think you are at a funeral). Balloon arches and plastic floral arches are naff and so bad for the environment. No one is really interested in having a "favour" to remember your wedding by. But they will remember a good meal, sentimental speeches that don't go on forever, that there was always somewhere to sit, there was great music and there was a quiet space to withdraw to to catch up with friends and family. Oh, and maybe that they didn't have to travel somewhere that just doesn't make sense or wear something specific and outlandish.

Oh this is all so great, thanks for the responses. Happy to hear that a venue where everything happens in one place, lots of food and drink and live music have cropped up a lot as these have been our three big priorities for our day. We do have a 1pm ceremony though, hmm... Not much we can do about it now, but we have drinks and canapes coming straight out afterwards and a great live singer during the drinks reception so hopefully that will help!

Lovely to hear about all these wonderful and very varied weddings too!

One of the nicest I've been to was three hours beginning to end. Perfect. Church service, champagne and canapés and then bride and groom left for their honeymoon and we all left.
The wedding was shorter then our drive there.

We went to a lovely wedding a few years back of a family member- the b&g put on coaches from the ceremony to the reception venue and then several coaches back to the main city centre on the evening. It was really nice not to pay a fortune in taxis or have a designated driver.

That was a 1pm ceremony too - when we arrived at the reception venue they had a harpist playing and a table stocked with board games for adults and kids in a lovely comfy room with lots of seating (the joy!) and garden games on the lawn. A mini afternoon tea was waiting for the guests- sandwiches and mini cakes with tea / coffee / cocktails whilst the b&g had photos in the grounds. Ohh and I can remember photos of the b&g& guests dotted about I'm sure they had little notes or similar attached with their funniest/ favourite memories. The meal for the wedding breakfast was a choice of 2 (or maybe three?) Meals so we all weren't stuck to the same dish. And on the night good old bacon & sausage sarnies. It was all very guest centered and a really wonderful day.

Best of luck OP hope you have a wonderful day.

Lots of food, lots of drink, minimal hanging around, plentiful entertainment. Went something like-

3-4 pm church service
4 pm Group photos - then bulk of guests dismissed to church hall where we were greeted with afternoon tea and waitresses wandering about with pots of tea and coffee. Family had tea in the vestry whilst doing small group abs b&g photos.
Table of children’s games, colouring etc in the hall and rota of people to supervise/help. Children’s playground outside village hall. Parents took their teas out.

5pm B&G arrived, speeches and toasts
6pm Ceilidh band
7pm Buffet - amazing food, dressed crab, fabulous salads, local cheese board, lots of vegan choice too
8.30 More ceilidh dancing
10 pm Chip baguettes

The date was chosen as the same day as the local agricultural show, because “it never rains on the xxx show”.
The afternoon tea was amazing, just what you need at that time of day.
The kids corner was excellent, and the b&g included the children in everything.
It wasn’t a huge wedding - maybe 50 people
It wasn’t late - I’d say we were on the way home by 11pm.
But it was perfectly formed!

The Friday of August bank holiday 2020. Registry office, Back garden. Large marquee, 30 people. Own chef providing global street food plates.

it was the timing.

Plenty of good food. Loads of places to sit. They had a woman from the venue who was making sure everything was running on time and fielding any questions from the guests. Photos took no more than an hour and tea and coffee was served. Very amenable DJ who played whatever people wanted so the dance floor was full all night. The little personal touches - the table names, the music choices, the decorations were all completely "them".

Disco bingo, drag performers, confetti cannons going off, three rooms with different music in each (one was practically a night club, one was really chilled with big comfy couches and blankets), free bar all night including really impressive cocktails, snacks then a lovely meal then more snacks all night. Absolutely stunning location and we all stayed in a nearby hotel where they had got us a fantastic deal.

Gorgeous all round but seeing the grooms so happy was the best bit. Sure yours will be perfect

We had a very small afternoon wedding, just 20 guests including us. Had a lovely meal in a private dining room around a huge oval table. Then we decamped to our local rowing club by the river, huge function room and over 200 guests for a full on party. We asked the DJ to play background music until 10pm so we could get round and chat to everyone. There was a bbq serving food all night and plenty of free fizz. I think we left at 4am and the DJ was still playing and the bar still serving.
We had emphasised that the wedding (always the boring bit) wasn’t the main event but we wanted to celebrate our marriage in our usual fashion with a proper boozy party.
The hen and stag were very similar. The boys went to the local city the girls did a local pub crawl. We all met up at a club for preorganised joint party.
Many of our friends were married or together and used to socialising as a big group so it just made sense.

We chose to spend the money on a big party rather than all the frilly stuff. Feeding and entertaining our guests was the most important thing not spending 10k on a dress or hiring fancy cars or a classy venue. The fact that people still mention our evening do 23 yrs on suggests it stood out.
My DSis says it’s the only wedding she has been to where the dance floor was full from the first song until the DJ finally pulled the plug at 4am.
I was so not a bridzilla and had to be talked into having flowers and wearing a wedding dress.

Best one I went to was a surprise to the bride and groom! They came over from Australia to visit our small Scots village, where their ancestors emigrated from 300 years ago, having written to ask our minister if she could bless their exchange of rings - they’d had a civil wedding in Oz.
Unknown to the couple, our brill minister secretly organised a full on church wedding, followed by a reception in the church cafe!
The congregation baked a wedding cake, and made biscuits shaped like kangaroos and maps of Australia. The churchwarden wore his kilt and walked the gobsmacked bride down the aisle, the congregation had all dressed up as guests, there was a bouquet and photographer. It was so impromptu and sweet, and the couple were so overwhelmed, it brought a tear to the eye. They still keep in touch from their home in Oz, and say they feel our village is their second home.

My favourite was one of 10 weddings we went to one year - I haven't been to one for ages, they all seemed to come the year I turned 30.
No kids, (I don't like children at weddings even since having my own), ceremony at 2.30, canapes and drinks afterwards (when bride and groom had photos), followed by speeches and then the wedding breakfast, No evening guests, but then dancing and bacon sandwiches at 11.

Perfect.

We were at one on Sunday. My only bug bear was the huge gaps between everything.

Otherwise it was probably the best wedding I have ever been to.

Simple canapés
Plentiful free drinks both alcoholic and squash

Lots of space to move about and lots of places to sit and get away from the noise if needed (her son has adhd)

Games for the kids etc

Nothing felt forced, even the photos despite a couple of deliberately staged ones. It all felt really relaxed and fun.

Karaoke at the night do .I'm easily pleased.

Best weddings I’ve been to are those where the hosts have spent their money on their guests and planned the day around guest comfort and not around instagram.

So just what everyone else has said really;

plenty food and either free or inexpensive drinks
plenty water / soft drinks
plenty chairs and somewhere to sit away from loud music
no hanging around
entertainment for guests old and young as well as B and G age
no speeches or only short, entertaining ones
nothing that is more suitable for the hen or stag do

It’s that simple really. But most brides struggle to hear this. Some are obsessed by wedding magazines and all the things they tell you are important. The £3k dress, designer underwear and shoes, decoration such as chair covers and balloon arches, photos booths, sweetie tables , favours, extravagant floral displays and themed and colour coordinated invitations, the honey moon in the Maldives.

Nothing wrong with these things if you have a huge budget. But most couples don’t so they end of saving money on things like food and drink for their guests. Or the plus ones for their single friends. Or entertainment, chairs and space.Or they ask the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses or to get their hair and make up done.

Worst of all are the ones who chose a venue they can’t afford and then manipulate / blackmail the guests into staying overnight at the venue to pay for the event. Or have a dress code that means everyone has to buy new outfits or wear things they don’t like or suit.

So thank you @PRB18 for asking what guests enjoy and I hope you’ve found all these excellent posts helpful.