General process is:
- Marriage ceremony at register office (Standesamt) - this can be as small or as large as you like or the building allows. If you are not having a religious blessing:
- Drinks reception/lunch/Kaffee und Kuchen - depending on the time of day.
- Evening meal followed by dancing - usually "proper" dancing as nearly everyone goes to dancing lessons around the age of 14 or so and dancing schools often offer pre-wedding refresher classes.
If you are having a religious blessing this normally happens either immediately after the Standesamt or on the next Saturday or, in some cases, months later followed by 2 and 3.
Quite often the bride and groom have to do things like saw a log in half or smash glasses. More formal events often have the bride and groom dancing a waltz (properly) as their first dance.
Friends of the couple often organise an "entertainment" of some kind, such as a sketch on how the couple met or a mini concert.
I have never been to a wedding in Germany where there were long speeches or anything much other than the bride and/or groom thanking everyone for attending.
The legal bit is the Standesamt, where you are also given a Stammbuch, which is where you keep things like your marriage certificate, birth certificates etc. You are required to give notice - the timings and evidence needed is found on the webpage of the Standesamt.
If you are not actually having the legal bit, but just a wedding ceremony, party, then anything goes. However, you cannot have a religious blessing without the piece of paper from the Standesamt (or other recognised marriage certificate) as that part of proceedings has no legal status in German law, it is an optional extra.