SIL bridesmaid problems

[Legasss123]

I really don’t know what to do, my FH has 3 half sisters, 2 on his mums side and 1 on his dads side.

I’ve always known who I wanted as my bridesmaids even before I met my FH. 2 of my childhood best friends and my cousin who is like a sister to me.

However, one of my FH sisters (on his dads side), we have a very close relationship, she’s been like my little sister since I met my FH I’ve known her since she was 12 and we constantly talk, In my heart I really would love to ask her to be a bridesmaid but I don’t want to ask the other two from his mums side, they are a bit older infact they are my age.. I have an okay relationship with them, nothing bad has happened. But when I moved away far from home to live with my partner all I had was his family, 4 years later and I feel like I’m still trying to have some sort of relationship with them, they message me if they want something but they never seem to have time for me if I ever suggest to do anything, not even a pamper night! So I feel like I wouldn’t be able to rely on them helping me with the wedding (I know it’s not all about that) but I just don’t feel like they’ve got to know me. I just don’t know whether I’m being out of order because I know sometimes people expect that role when they are siblings with the groom.

Just to add, the sisters on the mums side and the dads side don’t have anything to do with each other, would really appreciate some advice!😊

I think its fine not to ask them - you are overthinking! Maybe if they were children it would be a bit mean but if they are grown adults not a problem at all!

Can you/ your fiancé ask the other sisters to do readings so they still feel a part of the event? Keep in mind, the numbers of bridesmaids is usually balanced by the same number of groomsmen so adding all the sisters would mean quite a large bridal party. That can be part of your decision making process, particularly if you’re paying for bridesmaids’ dresses.

Try not to overthink it. Ask the sister you want. You clearly have a closer relationship with her. Don't feel obliged to ask the other two.

It’s not necessary to ask them to do anything. They will get to wear a lovely frock and have fun at your wedding. They don’t need to take part in any other way, and honestly, they probably won’t want to. Not everyone wants to be a bridesmaid or do a reading.

Ask whoever you want to be your bridesmaid. Your fh could ask them to be ushers or something. Have a lovely wedding and enjoy

What does your DP think?

The right answer is of course to not overthink it and just ask her. But if the other sisters are difficult or the relationship is complicated he may prefer not to add another layer to that, in which case you could ask her to do a reading.

Sounds like you'd only be asking your long term, dearest friends to be bridesmaids. It just so happens that one is your cousin, and one is your fiance's half sister. I don't see a problem with it.

Ask whoever you want to be bridesmaid.
There is no rule to it other than it's who you want.

He completely agrees with my decision he wants me to pick who I want, his sisters who I’m not wanting to ask have been known in the past to enjoy causing a bit of drama and stir the pot which is another reason why I don’t want them in the wedding party, but on the other hand that’s the reason why I’m worrying about it a little bit because of how they may react.

I just wanted my closest people and the ones who know me best and want the best for me.

I guess I just posted this to get other peoples perspective, and not just my FH (he’s quite black and white when it comes to situations) 😂
I just don’t want to look mean for picking one sister and leaving the other two out

I would ask the sister you want to be a bridesmaid to do a reading and leave the other two as guests. Have your friends and cousin as bridesmaids.

What is an FH

So he's OK with it but you are trying to see into the future to placate some unreasonable people?!

Pick who you want.

If anyone choses to get annoyed tell them it's your wedding, your choices, no more conversation to be had. Basically Sod Them!

Now, forget them and go back to actually enjoying the idea of getting married.

Future Husband!