Wedding far from family and friends - plan for the day?

[CamoTeaLaLa]

I moved ‘up north’ from the south east and am getting married next year. The city is two hours direct train from London. The venues are walking distance from the train station. Cheap/mid-priced/expensive/luxury hotels are plentiful.

Does this very basic sketch for the day make sense?

• Early ceremony at 1045 or something? Family and close friends only. They’d have stayed the night before.

• Lunch (dinner…) at somewhere walking distance from station, including the friends who have travelled up. Some will probably stay over in the city, some will go home on the train.

• Into the evening with dinner (tea…)

• Finish when it finishes…

I am concerned that asking people to do a four hour round trip for a day out is not reasonable, and that doesn’t include the tube to and from the mainline station etc. It’s a long day, but I can’t change where I live and if people can’t make it, they can’t make it. This is fine. As a group we recently attended an event an hour from London and an hour and a half from us, and we stayed over for two nights! This is how it works, right?

So, an early ceremony then lunch is the way to do this? My partner (fiancé teehee) are older and not bothered about a midnight rave up. However, we don’t object to day drinking 🕶

I apologise for this very basic question but I have not done this before and tbh I need help.

Personally I would probably make the ceremony a bit later to give people a chance to arrive. Most will probably book a hotel for after the wedding so may wish to check in and get changed rather then travel in their finery.

But other thank that it sounds perfectly fine.

Oh, an excellent point, thank you.

One reads (a lot…) about people being left waiting about and hungry and I can’t do that! Later ceremony then straight into the trough should work 😬

People will probably want to travel on the day and stay over rather than staying 2 nights.
I would go for a later ceremony so people don't have to leave home really early, it would be a really long day.

We got married at 11 and it was definitely the best decision. But… do what works best for you. There will always be people who will travel for hours and those who just can’t make it. Congratulations.

And yes, a 5pm meal is the biggest PIA at weddings so either provide lunch or have a late (230pm or later) do to allow people to eat!

I think it’s unreasonable to expect people to stay TWO nights. Have the ceremony late so that people can come straight from home, then they can stay overnight as will probably have had a few drinks and leave the next day. Maybe something like: a ceremony at 2ish? Followed by photos, dinner, speeches, dancing, snacks in the evening?

Will you be doing photos in there somewhere?

Brill, thanks all. Am thinking we really need to feed people twice. Once on arrival as midday then again after they’ve drunk a bit 🥂

Will shift it all a bit later, thanks for your advice 😎

Oh. Uhm. Between ceremony and venue? Probably at the ceremony, and quickly…?

Was going to echo all the other posters, people are happy to stay the night of but rarely night before- also account for Sunday train times if a Sunday

We got married at 2.30 to give people time to travel. Then canapés during photos and dinner at 5.30. We then did bacon baps and cheese&biscuits at 11, which went down a treat!

I just wondered because, in my experience, there is usually a gap between the ceremony and meal to allow time for photos. So that might factor into what time you do the ceremony. Of course if you are getting married at the same place you are taking photos, that makes that much easier.

I would be making the ceremony no earlier than 1pm (or as late as 3pm)
to give people plenty of time to travel up that morning. Travelling up the night before is grim and it's unreasonable to make the guests basically have no option but to do this. Anyone who wants to just do it as a day trip will still have time to get home after, and anyone who wants to stat and party only has to pay 1 night hotel rather than 2.

My friend got married at 3pm at a private ceremony and then served afternoon tea from 4:30pm while photos were being done. Very minimal hanging around at people were occupied with eating and a family magic show.

The afternoon tea food was set up on a buffet table so people could serve themselves and migle. Then at 7pm the evening reception started and an Indian takeaway buffet was set up on the side. It was a really nice relaxed, fun day without stuffy speeches & formalities.

My brother did similar but the last registry slot so 4/5pm, can't remember exact time. He then invited all the guests, day and evening, to the local function hall for a 6pm reception. They only had one set of catering costs so it worked out cheaper than the usual wedding breakfast and evening reception catering.

I'd move the wedding much later in the day.
Say 2 or 3pm. Allows people to get to location, have lunch, get dressed then party. Evening food at a sensible time.
Otherwise you are forcing people into 2 nights away.

Trouble is most hotels only let you check in 2pm so you'd need to do it as late as 3 to let people check in, change clothes, get to ceremony

Or! Ensure there is a room at the ceremony for bags and a place to change? That would solve most travellers issues and you could start 12 etc.

I agree with a later start, 2 at the very earliest but I'd prefer 3 or 4. I'd travel on the day, maybe have lunch and check in.

I wouldn't mind staying 2 nights but some won't be able to afford it. Then there's childcare, dog sitters, work etc

Definitely do it later.

No one wants to be at an event at 10.45am if they've just travelled.

Let people have a lazy morning/ late brunch and start the day between 2-3pm.

With weddings I think as the bride/ groom you feel like you want to get the most out of your wedding day, but you will probably feel better for the later start too. Weddings are super emotional and amazing but tiring! Give yourself some time to chill and get ready beforehand.

You’re right 👍🏼 I do feel like people won’t get a full day out if they’ve travelled ‘late’, but really it’s plenty of time and I’m not sure we want/can be on top form for a long day either 😬

Spoke to a dear friend on Saturday. She’s my new friend in the north but we’re both from the SE and have mutual. That’s not important! But anyway, she said ‘Where do you want to get married?’ And I responded that I’d always wanted to do it in the church in the village where I grew up… of course I did, what an idiot, why didn’t I think of that?

So, I’ll pick a good time to inform my fiancé that the plan has changed 😁 And welcome his thoughts etc etc. We are buying a house this week, and I am not sure I can cope with managing the multiple inputs so will pick a quiet time but… if I want to do it next year I need to get a move on, right? Just to check availability. Get a date the work with that?