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Original poster

Help me not ruin my proposal!

14 replies

weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 09:12

Holding my hands up here I am not very good at surprises or anything “unknown”. As a child I always wanted to know what my birthday presents were and in my relationship I am generally the planner and organiser and I like it that way.

DP knows this about me and we agreed that getting engaged wouldn’t be a total surprise and that I would know when it was roughly coming so I could chill out about it around special occasions etc.

Last night DP tells me he has bought a ring so I can expect it soon! We are going on holiday in a few weeks and I’m 90% sure the proposal is going to be then.

I am driving myself crazy trying not to check his emails and find out what the ring is like and generally dig for more information because I know I run the risk of ruining this for myself.

How do you deal with all this anticipation?! GAH! 😂💍😩

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 07/05/2022 09:16

If you don't like surprises why bother with a ritual 'proposal'? It means absolutely nothing if you have already agreed to get married. Just start wearing the ring. Fair enough if you'd enjoy the razzmatazz of one, but if it's making you anxious it's absolutely bonkers to do this.Confused

Minimalme · 07/05/2022 09:20

I think you have inadvertently managed to create exactly the situation which drives you mad op Grin

A complete surprise would have been much better or as possible suggested, just start wearing the ring? One 'moment' does not a marriage make (not a saying but should be!).

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 09:30

You are right of course and we have already agreed it feels perfunctory as we have agreed to get married and therefore are technically “engaged”. I know DP wants to propose though as a bit of a rite of passage and, although I know it gets sneered at a bit on mumsnet, I rightly or wrongly want my insta moment!

OP posts:
Palavah · 07/05/2022 09:32

I'm bemused. Surely you are now going to drive yourself loopy looking for this propsosal every day of your holiday, whereas without this weird tip-off you could have just relaxed?

I don't get it.

Antarcticant · 07/05/2022 09:35

weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 09:30

You are right of course and we have already agreed it feels perfunctory as we have agreed to get married and therefore are technically “engaged”. I know DP wants to propose though as a bit of a rite of passage and, although I know it gets sneered at a bit on mumsnet, I rightly or wrongly want my insta moment!

In that case, look at what you are going through now as a necessary evil to get to your 'insta moment'.

burnoutbabe · 07/05/2022 09:47

I planned my Insta moment in that other half said he wanted to get me a ring (which effectively was engagement moment) but then we planned a holiday together so knew we'd announce at a particular place.

So I think you either need to tell him to confirm when it's happening so you can relax? Or say you won't-enjoy the holidays with wondering when it will happen.

Surely if you are marrying him you can speak to him about this?

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 19:49

Palavah · 07/05/2022 09:32

I'm bemused. Surely you are now going to drive yourself loopy looking for this propsosal every day of your holiday, whereas without this weird tip-off you could have just relaxed?

I don't get it.

Except I couldn’t have relaxed because I also desperately wanted to know if/when it was happening 😂

You are right though, in solving one problem I have created another!

OP posts:
Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 19:50

burnoutbabe · 07/05/2022 09:47

I planned my Insta moment in that other half said he wanted to get me a ring (which effectively was engagement moment) but then we planned a holiday together so knew we'd announce at a particular place.

So I think you either need to tell him to confirm when it's happening so you can relax? Or say you won't-enjoy the holidays with wondering when it will happen.

Surely if you are marrying him you can speak to him about this?

I can speak to him about it and have done which is why he knows I want to know roughly when it was happening. I am trying to balance my desire to JUST BE ENGAGED ALREADY and his desire to do it with a bit of romance and this is where we have ended up 😂

OP posts:
SpindleInTheWind · 07/05/2022 19:55

Well, you seem very excited, I'll give you that.

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 20:13

SpindleInTheWind · 07/05/2022 19:55

Well, you seem very excited, I'll give you that.

Haha I am! We have known each other since our first year at uni and I can’t believe we are actually ending up together!

OP posts:
TheCanyon · 07/05/2022 20:16

weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 09:30

You are right of course and we have already agreed it feels perfunctory as we have agreed to get married and therefore are technically “engaged”. I know DP wants to propose though as a bit of a rite of passage and, although I know it gets sneered at a bit on mumsnet, I rightly or wrongly want my insta moment!

What happens if he proposes while you're on the toilet with holiday shits?

I couldn't live like this, would drive myself nuts.

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 20:26

TheCanyon · 07/05/2022 20:16

What happens if he proposes while you're on the toilet with holiday shits?

I couldn't live like this, would drive myself nuts.

Show quote history

I figure he will just do it at a restaurant or cafe but you’re right I am driving myself crazy. Three and a half weeks until our holiday though 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

OP posts:
CherrySocks · 07/05/2022 21:00

Enjoy the anticipation!

It's a nice bit of fun like getting a birthday cake with candles brought in even though you knew they bought one.

Original poster
weddingwaiting · 07/05/2022 21:16

CherrySocks · 07/05/2022 21:00

Enjoy the anticipation!

It's a nice bit of fun like getting a birthday cake with candles brought in even though you knew they bought one.

Thank you that’s probably a better way to look at it

OP posts:
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