Late Invites??

[ImInStealthMode]

Ok before anyone tells me, I know this is pretty bad form, but due to some unexpected family invite declines (various reasons) we now have some space in our previously full venue.

Rather than just having a smaller group, we're thinking of asking some friends that we enjoy spending time with but aren't in the very close circle that we had originally had to stick to. 2 of them are ex-colleagues of mine that I still see socially.

I'm reasonably confident I know them well enough to know they wouldn't be offended at a late invite (10 weeks away so not last minute) but is it just so horrifically rude to do this that we just shouldn't?!

I wouldn't be offended myself but I'm laid back to the point of comatose about most things so it can be hard to gauge....

(For info, it's nothing to do with money; if we stick to lower numbers we'd pay for lower numbers, so we wouldn't be inviting them so as not to 'waste' if you see what I mean. We'd be choosing to pay for them as we are all our guests)

Nah not rude l would ask them, worst case they say no

I did this exact same thing- in fact- they were asked even closer to our wedding! 1 ex colleague was delighted and knew many of the other guests on her table and had a fab time. DH also asked an old friend who was vague, but said he'd some. He never turned up though.

No harm in asking. Another option- could you ask any evening guests to attend the whole day instead?

Thank you, that's reassuring. We're not having any evening guests, everyone is whole day so that's not an option.

I'll just ask them

I thought you were going to say in 10 day.

Of course it isn't an issue to invite someone with 10 weeks notice assuming it isn't abroad or in a really remote venue.

I went to a wedding once, after a phone call the night before, asking me to step in to a place that had become available at the last minute. Had a lovely day. Can't understand why anyone would be offended.
But can't see that they would even know if it was 10 weeks before.

@Kite22 Well one of them knows as we went for a lunch a couple of weeks ago and chatted about the wedding

The other I suspect knows, as she's very good friends with an originally invited guest.

Definitely not abroad or remote. It's about 7 miles for one of them but he'd be the furthest flung of all the guests!

Well, I'd have a chat - in person ideally, or by phone if not.

Say "We sent the invitations out early as there were a few people we felt obliged to invite, but thought probably wouldn't be able to come. Now we've had a couple of replies saying they won't be able to make it, we can invite some of the people we really wanted to invite , so would you like to / be able to come if we get a formal invitation to you now ?

I know there seem to be a lot of people on MN that look for offence in everything, but it these people are actual friends, I am sure they would be delighted. All normal people understand at weddings that there is a hierarchy of people the B&G invite in order, and that there is a finite number of people. I can't think of anyone I know (or anyone I would want to invite) that would get huffy about knowing they were numbers 61-64 on a guest list that could only take 60. It just doesn't cross most people's radar.

I was invited the day before a wedding & wasn’t bothered in the slightest, had a great day!!

I had a late invite, to someone I thought I was very close with! She obviously didn’t think I was in her top tier friends! I was really upset not to be invited originally, but overall, happy to be going, even if it was last-minute!

Presumably they know the wedding is happening. Surely being invited is less offensive than no invite at all, even if it's last minute?

(I don't actually think 10 weeks is last minute though!)

I dont think 10 weeks is late!

But even when it really and indubitably late, I wouldn't mind in the slightest

I only sent my invitations out six or seven weeks beforehand so ten weeks is absolutely fine.

I think it's totally fine