Which venue?

[Bavarois]

I got engaged recently and we're planning our wedding for 2023. We've narrowed it down to two venues (we think, we have another viewing next weekend but it's a village hall and we don't think we'll go for it). Both venues are barn/farm venues. Both quite similar, but one is a bit cheaper/better value for money.

Venue 1 - June date available. 20 minutes from where 95% of the guests live so I don't think we'd need to put on a coach. Accomodation is available for the bridal party as an add-on but very expensive so we probably won't hire it, but there's a dressing area we can hire for the morning for a reasonable amount. The food sounds fantastic, the bar is willing to stock specific alcohols if we request it, and they'll put on some cocktails. Ceremony in a lovely barn and reception in a different barn so no changeover. Nice outdoor area where they'll likely have a covered marquee by next June. This is the pricier venue.

Venue 2 - only April/May dates available. At least an hour from everyone so we'd need to lay on a coach or two. Accommodation for the bridal party for two nights is included in the price. The food sounds okay, it's a working farm so all meat is sourced on-site but it's family-style dining with sharing platters which I'm not so keen on. My family are slower eaters and I hate sharing as other people tend to eat faster and you're left with the dregs. The bar is nice but more restricted in what we could lay on. Cocktails would cost extra. The ceremony is in an outdoor covered barn, there's another barn for a drinks reception, and a lovely stone barn with courtyard for the reception. There is a grass area we could use but it's further from the reception area than venue 1's grass area. This venue is excellent value for money and would come in at 3-4k less than venue 1, including accommodation but not accounting for coach hire (approx £800-1k).

Please help! Both are lovely venues, I think I'm leaning towards venue 1 but DP likes venue 2 more. If you were a guest which would you prefer?

Well, as a guest I'd prefer the one 20minutes away- but I'm not paying!.
It definitely sounds like venue 1 is where your heart is and it's a day that will (hopefully-sorry!) never be repeated so I'd go with the one you really want.

Definitely venue 1.

The distance is ideal and everything else sounds much better than the other venue.

How many coaches are involved? Are you thinking that there will be one departure time and one return time? With the return time have you got to factor in older relatives who might want to leave earlier or parents who want to get kids to bed/relieve babysitters?

If it's an hour away guests might think about doing their own thing or making a weekend of it (especially if they're not tied to staying in a £££ wedding venue) in which case you need to see how many people are wanting your coach(es) as that could be an area for making savings

Or the coach cost might be more than you were thinking

You could put on a coach for the 20 minute away one as well. Some friends of ours did that as taxis round here aren't very plentiful.

Number 1

Wow thanks for all the fast responses! Good point about people needing to get home before the finish time for babysitters. That's definitely a consideration, we probably only have 3 guests that would apply to but in 18 months there could be far more I suppose. We don't have many elderly guests but there are a couple so something to think about. Venue 1 has a wee bedroom included in dressing room hire that my gran could go to for a lie down if needed. On the flip side, the flooring is less even in venue 1 (ceremony room only, reception room all nicely floored) and she walks with a stick. I have a second viewing booked to take my dad down to check if he thinks it's a falls risk.

I've already had a quote for the coach so fairly confident with that estimate. I don't think coaches would be worth it for venue 1, it's mid-way between my hometown and DP's hometown so we'd need one going either direction and dropping people at central points. They'd need to get taxis from there and tbh it's probably only a £10 taxi directly home from the venue. Although it's a barn venue it's 2 mins off a motorway and we're near a city so taxis aren't in short supply, although apparently it is more difficult since covid.

I can't see people making a weekend of it, although it's an hour away it's our nearest coastal area so people tend to pop down there quite frequently for day trips.

Trying to think of other things that might make a difference. Venue 1 has a minimum guest requirement of 100 people where venue 2 is 80. 80 guests is a more realistic number for us, I've got the fear people won't come and we'll be struggling to meet the 100.

I had my heart set on venue 1 but yesterday's viewing of venue 2 threw a spanner in the works, mainly on value. I'm pleased people are leaning towards venue 1 though. Our main priorities were to be good hosts so I do think as a guest a shorter travel time makes all the difference. It's also a much longer day if you need to add on an hour in a coach each way, plus then travel home from the coach point.

Realistically would the travel put your guests off? An hour each way would see me staying home!!

Which did you go for OP? I think I have been to 2 weddings at your second venue (sounds very familiar…Ayrshire??) but I’m intrigued as to where Venue 1 is!

I've never been to a wedding where they put on a coach / bus - only read about them on here, but I have to say I think I'd rather drive.
I don't like the idea of everyone being tied to leaving at the same time. I also wonder where the coach picks up from / drops off to ? I mean even if people live in the same town, they presumably don't all live in the same street.

As a guest, the 20min journey sounds more appealing, but, as a pp said, I'm not paying for the venue.

However, 100 minimum number sounds a bit off putting if you think you don't have that many you want to invite.

@MarriedAtLastLight I'm OP with a name change, yes I suspect it's the same venue! Dalduff? We ended up going for venue 1, it's Harelaw Farm in Fenwick (cue another name change 😂). Still technically Ayrshire but much closer to Glasgow and the suburbs where we all live. Honestly it was a tough decision but venue 1 offered a bit more flexibility with food and drink (our main priority) and easier travel for guests (second priority). I also feel like a lot of people we know get married at venue 2 (probably as it's such good value) so venue 1 felt a wee bit more special.

@Alfacalcidol ah it looks lovely there! And it’s quite a bit closer which does make a difference. Congratulations

I liked the way venue 1 sounded. My wedding was held indoors because my fiance was concerned about the pandemic. It was a private function with only our close relatives and friends invited. Our wedding venue was in Toronto, and I loved their services, which included a spacious and beautifully decorated banquet hall with lovely lighting and soothing music, making the atmosphere very romantic. Our guests were pleased and enjoyed our wedding, so all of our efforts were well rewarded!