I’ve been having a difficult time wedding planning and it’s got me in a sad place at the moment.
I was so excited to be engaged and began planning straight away. Our venue was booked within a month and our date sorted.
Throughout the whole process, the two people who I thought would be the most excited for me have made the whole time incredibly difficult.
My sister and I are very different and at the time of my engagement she had completely cut me out of her life as she felt I was too sensitive and didn’t like how I wear my heart on my sleeve and am an emotional person.
Long story short, there have been 3 occasions where my sister has done this in the last 3 years: the first time was my diagnosis of my long-term illness, where she felt she ‘couldn’t cope’ with my illness, the second time because she was annoyed about who I had chosen to be godparents to my son (alongside her) and then during my engagement. When this happens mum always just tells me that I should just get on with it and that I should consider my sister feelings which I try to do.
At the time of the engagement, she refused to speak to me at all. I wanted to ask her to be a bridesmaid. I chose my maid of honour to be my best friend of 10 years who has been there for me whatever.
When I could finally ask my sister to be a bridesmaid (she just randomly came to my house with no explanation as to why she’d cut me off) her response was very flat and she has never to this day even congratulated me on my engagement. She’s also spoken badly about my other bridesmaids who are my best friends - even though she has only met them briefly once/twice.
During a discussion with my mum and sister about my hen do, they began to talk negatively about my maid of honour and said she wouldn’t do a good job with my hen do began to talk negatively about my wedding choices in general.
When my maid of honour has recently planned my hen do, my mum and sister have ignored all of her messages - leaving me feeling quite embarrassed and upset. Then, on the day the deposits were due, they registered to come without consulting me or my maid of honour.
I’m left feeling very confused about the whole thing. Now my wedding has become a non-talking point between me, my mum and my sister and if it’s mentioned it becomes very hostile and negative - and I just don’t understand why. I’m felt feeling quite down about the wedding because I’m worrying about what my mum and sister are going to do/say.
How would you all suggest I approach this to help me feel better about the wedding and situation in general?