Food at weddings - allergies

[Caspianberg]

We need to pick a menu in the new few weeks. We can select 3 for people to then choose from. So meat, veggie and another roughly was my first thought.

But now I’m checking and we have at least x2 nut allergies ( our son is one of them), dairy free, gluten free and shellfish.

I’m really stumped. The menu has about 12 options but there’s no way to easily cater for all 4 allergies, as well as preferences. The veggie options are dairy and nut heavy, gluten free uses nuts. And then we aren’t really left with meals we really enjoy on own wedding.

Every desert contains dairy, or nuts, or gluten, some 2, some all three

I can’t just leave people without food either as it’s a whole weekend. Or do I get special meals catered for each person?

If they are allergies then it would have to be special meals. unless you can speak to your venue and ask if they can make and tweaks to the choices on offer.

The reality is that you don't have to like all three meals and deserts being provided as your only going to be eating one.

I'd do meat dish, veggie dish, then a dish that works for allergies. It might be the gluten free person and lactose people can have the meat dish though if they aren't allergic

You need to order what you would like because it is your wedding, and then talk to the venue about providing suitable dishes for the allergy sufferers , either by tweaking or providing something different for them.

We had turkey as its my favourite, but one guest hates turkey so they had beef. We also had one veggie option. The venue were happy to oblige.

Life threatening allergies aside, you simply cannot cater for every dietary requirement (and forget about preferences - aside from your own).

The last few weddings I've been to have offered three choices for each course for guests to choose from which cover most requirements. I'm diabetic and I know there will be stuff I can't really eat but I wouldn't expect my hosts to provide a sugar-free dessert, I just wouldn't have a dessert (as if!).

It’s not in the uk, so the menu is very local based, and that it’s fish and meat mainly with just 2 veggie options ( risotto, and quark veg strudel).

All the allergies are actual allergies except dairy is ‘ intolerance’ I think. But I still don’t want to make him ill.

Dh and I eat anything. I quite fancy the duck, pear with chestnut gnocchi, but I know veggies and gluten can’t, and non allergy family also ‘fussy’.

There’s only 30 guests. But with 6 allergies, and 8 kids, that’s means less than half would be on the actual ‘wedding’ menu.

They do basic tomato pasta…

Desert I’m not too worried about, as I can ask for fruit/ dairy free ice cream easily enough.

My Ds is severe for nuts though. Even the bread on menu is nut bread, or pistachio ice cream, or hazelnut cream, or walnut base… he’s happy with pasta and ice cream, but peanuts definitely can’t be served in room with him in.

Can you double up for some, for example vegan instead of vegetarian which is then also dairy free. If the gluten free person is not vegetarian then maybe a meat dish without flour. You might need to then get a few special meals but most would be OK. Or ask the venue, they might for example be able to substitute gluten free pasta 🤮 for normal pasta on one or two plates whilst still offering the same menu. There is gluten free gnocchi for example which is generally OK (ish).

Usually places provide allergy meals separate to the main menu. Please don’t only consider “life threatening” allergies. Any place will deal with allergies of all descriptions for you. I find it horrific that someone would say “if you’re not going to die from eating milk then I’m not going to consider it a ‘real’ allergy”

We did meat, fish, and veggie. Had a couple of allergies and the venue handled them as separate meals. Though my cousin made a big fuss about not being able to have gluten, then moaned about his option as wanted the chocolate brownie instead 🤦🏻‍♀️

If there are only 30, can you go a la carte (if they do such a thing)?

My DS has a food allergy - not life threatening but he does vomit everywhere 30 mins later... Most allergy sufferers don't have a life threatening reaction, doesn't mean it isn't real or important.

I would go for special meals for the allergy sufferers rather than trying to have on the same menu.

As a vegetarian, I would also much prefer not to have vegan as my only option for days - I don't like dairy substitutes much

Go back to the place and say the options are too nut based for your guests and ask if they have other options.

It's very easy to make gnocchi gluten free if needed. As long as you give the venue notice it shouldn't be an issue.

Thank you

I think in January we will go there to eat ourselves and see if they can come up with some options.
I think we have found a vague acceptable menu if I can double check a few things, and few basic swaps for those who need it.

Breakfast over the two days is buffet/ cook to order so everyone can just choose themselves what they like.

I would expect the venue to cater for allergies and special requirements outside of your chosen menu options. i.e. if you choose a veggie option with cheese, I would expect them to provide a vegan version/ alternative without having to then choose a vegan menu option as well.

If they don't do this then it's a bit rubbish tbh and I'd be thinking about another supplier.