To postpone wedding? Family drama..

[mellyt95]

It's all starting to get me down no one seems to bothered about our upcoming wedding next week apart from my side of the family. OH's brother is going through a rough break up, he's lost all his money fighting his ex in court so he has had to move back in with his MIL. His ex has gotten people to threaten him and someone how thrown bricks through his window.
Everyday it's just something else to do with them two it's so depressing I know it's really tough for him.

It's all just feels like wrong timing! We would loose so much money if we postponed. I just hate the thought of BIL having to sit through our wedding whilst he is going through all that.

Or do we just suck it up and get on with the day? Is it a bit harsh off us to carry on? I don't know.

You've presumably put a lot of thought, time, effort and money into planning your wedding, so I think you go ahead and enjoy it.

It's very kind and considerate of you to take your BiL's situation into account, but you can't plan your wedding around other people's problems. There are just too many people in a family for that to be practical. I'd just come out of a horrendous break up when my best friend got married, but as her maid of honour I was determined to make sure she had a special day and not let my personal misery cloud it (and I actually ended up having a pretty good time!). Maybe the distraction will do your BiL good. To be on the safe side, I'd gently request that people keep any heavy conversations out of your wedding. I appreciate they're stressed and upset, but it's one day, and they can surely manage to do that much for you and your husband.

Of course you go on with it ! There’s always things going on in families.

I don’t mean to be harsh but of course no one cares as much about your wedding as you do. Unless you are deeply religious, haven’t been living together before and your wedding Has deep spiritual and cultural significance , it’s just a party for most people attending.

Often the couple already live together or even have kids. So it’s not like you are starting a new life together - you are signing a legal contract and having a party.

Close female friends and relatives usually show polite interest when you talk about the design of your flowers / decorations / exact shade of bridesmaids dresses. But of course none of that matters to most people.

They just want you to have a nice day and will usually go along with whatever you say as none of these things make any difference to anyone except you.

So yes of course have your day and I’m sure your BIL will have support from others - don’t let it spoil your day.

Unless you are having serious second thoughts about wanting to marry your finance. Are you sure that he is the right man for you? How well does he treat you ?

Go ahead. With the way things are with covid you don’t know if weddings are going to end up restricted again.

Who's wedding is it? Not your BILs. He might welcome the diversion for a few hours.

It’s your wedding not your BIL’s, you can’t postpone your wedding for this reason!

Much as it’s very considerate of you to think about it, your wedding is for you & your DP, there will always be other people having situations in their lives but you just need to crack on.

Definitely go ahead. You can't postpone because of other people's problems, and most people are able to put aside their personal issues for a day. One of my best friends got married a few years ago, it was the weekend after I'd attended the funeral of someone I was very close to.

You just get on and do it, it can be weird time emotionally but people will cope with it and if they can't then they won't come, you can still enjoy your day.

If you put it off because I’ve person used having personal issues you will never get married because someone is always having personal issues.
You’re also putting a huge burden on him. He’s not going to enjoy the postpones wedding either knowing that it cost you a fortune to postpone and probably inconvenienced a lot of people just for him.
He’s a grown up. I’m sure he understands that life goes on and that he is not the centre of the world.

Are you sure this is not an excuse???