Honest opinions please

[giveitarestplease]

Registry office wedding only allowed 8 guests (mum,DD,DS,MIL,FIL,BIL & BIL plus his two kids.

Someone is going to have to miss out on the first bit, BIL without the kids is a massive part of our life and helps out with the kids so we want him there he even moved to be closer to us.

BIL with the kids: invite the kids to the first bit and he can wait for us all to come out then include everyone in photos and go for sit down meal. He is going for a messy separation so it seems a little harsh to leave him out MIL thinks it's very awkward and isn't happy. (Were not very close with him and don't have a relationship but of course its still OH brother)

I've suggested me and OH just going and not inviting anyone but we still need witnesses and we don't really want to do it this way.

OR we hire the massive room just for one extra person and pay an extra £200

Anyone that can watch the kids and just have the adults and your own DC at the ceromy?

Have you confirmed with the registry office that they count children? Would they allow a sneaky one extra child?

When I spoke to her originally she said they are strict on it, I have sent another email to see if they would allow it.

BIL wouldn't come without kids too much travel, unless we just tell them to only come to the photos and meal? Or is to harsh I don't know?

When I spoke to her originally she said they are strict on it, I have sent another email to see if they would allow it.

Fingers crossed for you

Id leave BIL and his kids out. It's a very small wedding so that's that. Otherwise pay the extra £200. Depends if it's worth £200 to not upset your BIL. What are your dps thoughts?

If you hire the massive room, are there other people you'd want there?

Why can't he come without the kids? Is it his time with them?

tough one

option 3: you could hire the 8-person room and gamble on someone falling ill and not being able to go

option 4: make them figure out who won't come. or offer £50 quid to a volunteer to stay away.

option 5: ask your BIL2 to pick his favourite kid to bring

option 6: bribe someone to let them all in

option 7: pretend one of the kids is an emotional support animal

😉🤣
only kidding, fuck knows what's best.
poor you.
I'm inclined to say to spend the extra £200 because it doesn't pay for 1 extra person, it pays for having everyone together so it's worth it.

best of luck

If you can afford it I think you should pay the extra £200 to avoid drama and have everyone together.

As it’s such a small wedding I think it would be a massive snub to have one brother there but not the other.

I would pay the £200 extra tbh.
Small numbers so I do think it matters.

Can he bring a plus one to look after the kids while in the registry office, then go yo the meal ?

How old are the dc?
Sensible /old enough to wait in the corridor outside for the 20mins or so needed ? (and, possibly, on the day, might be able to come in, with the celebrant turning a blind eye? ). Leave them with some device to watch / play something on ?

Why do the BIL’s kids need to be there? It seems obvious to me that they don’t come to the register office bit. It only lasts a few minutes. They come for the meal and photos. How old are they?

Is there another registry office nearby you could go to instead that allows more people? We have two a similar distance from us

I would ask a trusted friend to look after BIL kids during the ceremony then have them at the meal. Would bil accept this.

Here’s hoping your email comes up trump, though.