We should have just eloped 😂

[MimiDaisy11]

I thought I was being clever to just have a small causal wedding and that I’d avoid lots of the stress that’d come with a big event. Already I’m dealing with a family member sending me pics of something they want to make for the wedding which I really don’t like but now I have to decide to either just accept it or find a way to let them down gently without offending them.
I am starting to wish we’d just eloped.

Can relate massively!!

I don't think anyone gets away with a wedding without some sort of awkward interference from a well meaning relative or other family drama.

What helped me is remembering it all comes from a place of love and excitement and a desire to be involved in making your day special.

But I get that in the moment it is tough! What is it the relative is making? Have they already started or is it just a proposed idea? Can you scale it down or think of somewhere it can go that it doesn't really matter? Otherwise just politely say thanks so much for the idea and thought, we'll be ok as we've already ordered X. It is then their problem to manage their feelings!!

Look after yourself and keep perspective. Reassure relatives you have a big vision for the wedding and are loving organising it your way- it may be more old fashioned relatives not understanding smart causal vibes /thinking it is due to money and so trying to 'help you out' with their 'lovely' ideas

Is it the cake?

Just blame dhtb 🤣🤣 say that he isn't keen or that someone he knows is already gifting you both something similar

I'm having the same issues, I think because it's quite laid back people love to tell you what they think you need to do and get offended when you say your not bothering with whatever it is. In my case it's 2 people that have never been married.

It got so bad with one couple here who already had a small child ..NB Ireland... as both of them had huge families and the cost... They chose to live together so they could afford a house.

But they really wanted to be married.

So as I knew the right people. ie Franciscan Friars... we arranged a small secret wedding. I did the cake and flowers...It was truly lovely...

When they told the family after they also told them they were going to have a big party later.. And here in Ireland that will be BIG.

I have heard of other couples doing this.

Thanks for the replies. Sorry for the delayed response. They definitely are just trying to help and are excited about it. I appreciate that.

It's not the cake. Though I do have a relative who is into cake making and another relative has been telling me to ask them to make a cake for me. They are really good at it and they look professional but I've decided to not have a cake as it's just a registry office followed by a three-course restaurant meal so it just seems pointless as everyone will - hopefully - be full and satisfied with that. Plus there aren't enough people coming to justify a massive tiered cake. I'm sure they'd do a good job but it's probably just as well I'm not having a cake as I just don't like the idea of a family member doing something so important for the wedding as it's hard to ask for changes and talk to them like you would a professional.

It's the 'save the date' and the invitations, which a family member wants to make, which granted aren't that important. They just looked obviously homemade with standard computer fonts - and not a nice one. I've decided to come to a compromise though. I'll do the word design and they'll design the rest. It's more work than I was planning for them but hopefully they turn out alright but I can live with it if they don't.