Dislike wedding pictures

[laurakate1988]

This is going to sound terribly narcissistic but I promise it's not. I got married 4 years ago and at the time I was in a really bad place mentally (crippling anxiety, Problems with overthinking etc) and it made the planning super difficult for me. I have always struggled with decision making and with the pressures of such a special day on my shoulders I rushed into decisions for my wedding without thinking them through properly- This Included my dress and hair in particular.

I had an incredible day and felt amazing at the time but I really struggle looking back at my pictures. My hair looked really average and scruffy in some pics and I'm not bowled over by my dress (I was pressured into buying it by the dress shop!!), I can't help but wish I put more time into making better decisions. I didn't have the guts on the day to speak up to the hair stylist either when my hair wasn't how I imagined!
Every time I go to a friends wedding and see them looking beautiful in their pictures it feels painful. Does anyone else experience this or am I alone?!!! I feel terrible feeling this way but it's something I just can't shake!! :(

Op could this be part of your anxiety and mental health issues? As in you looked lovely and had a wonderful, day but you’re mental health problems are now causing these issues?

I hear you - can't stand mine either. Objectively I can see I look ok but the whole day/dress/vibe was a culmination of family pressure and I don't look beautiful as I see other brides are because I felt awkward, stupid hair etc and wish to god I'd had someone around me to tell me that I had the power to wear what I wanted and to feel comfortable. I think I don't like looking at my photos because it's not who I was. Saying that I've been married 20 years so at least good stuff came from that day.

Also hindsight is 20:20 vision and I'm sure you did the very best under the stress and your anxiety. Any chance you could redo the photos? Buy/hire another dress, choose your flowers etc and just you and your husband take some new photos with a photographer your happy with? Create new photos the way you wanted them the first time. Then have a big bonfire in the garden with the old photos.

We rarely see ourselves as others see us. You're looking at the pictures and focusing on flaws - others will see a beautiful, radiant bride.

I felt the same about mine but then DH passed away and now I treasure them and just see how happy I look. I suspect that would have happened in time anyway, regardless of what happened to DH, so I hope you experience a similar change of heart. Look at your expression rather than your dress.

@peachgreen

I felt the same about mine but then DH passed away and now I treasure them and just see how happy I look. I suspect that would have happened in time anyway, regardless of what happened to DH, so I hope you experience a similar change of heart. Look at your expression rather than your dress.

I'm so sorry to hear that. You are so right about the expressions on our faces... I try and tell myself that it's way more important

@SquirryTheSquirrel

We rarely see ourselves as others see us. You're looking at the pictures and focusing on flaws - others will see a beautiful, radiant bride.

I have always had self esteem problems and usually hate having pictures taken. I see people comment on friends pictures "oh wow you look so stunning" "your dress is so beautiful" and I don't remember hearing that from any of my loved ones!!! I worry that people thought I looked bad!!

Totally understand op.

My hair was awful to begin with. A child had then run up and grabbed my veil so it, and my tiara, were skewiff. I feel I look awful and have so many regrets.

I’m sure other people just laugh this stuff off. Maybe we would still be unhappy about things even if, to others, it was all perfect?

24 years on I can still feel a little sad about how some things turned out but I do have one photo I don’t hate and we have that on our family photo wall.

Felt exactly the same! However it’s actually got better with time, we’ve been married 15 years so now I look back and we look young and quite cute. I still don’t love my look, but it’s become easier to be charitable about it.

Op no one told me I looked nice on my wedding day either, maybe that’s it.

@GrrRightBackAtYou

Totally understand op.

My hair was awful to begin with. A child had then run up and grabbed my veil so it, and my tiara, were skewiff. I feel I look awful and have so many regrets.

I’m sure other people just laugh this stuff off. Maybe we would still be unhappy about things even if, to others, it was all perfect?

24 years on I can still feel a little sad about how some things turned out but I do have one photo I don’t hate and we have that on our family photo wall.

Aww I'm sorry you feel like this too. My veil fell out walking out after we got married and it messed my hair up and my curls dropped so early! I was annoyed no one told me!!

Another point is that time will change your perspective. When the face you look at in the mirror is 20 years older than the one in the pictures, and your hair is going grey, your youth will be what stands out rather than the details of your dress and hairstyle.

@Didiusfalco

Felt exactly the same! However it’s actually got better with time, we’ve been married 15 years so now I look back and we look young and quite cute. I still don’t love my look, but it’s become easier to be charitable about it.

I must admit it does get better with Time but then it's brought back when someone close to me gets married!!!

My photos are horrendous. My original dress looked awful and was then stuck at the shop because of Covid, the new one wasn’t altered right. It rained, my hairdresser didn’t show up and the replacement lady tried but decided to freestyle and go for strange curls which made me look like a Victorian child…

You’re not alone. But I wouldn’t trade any of it, because I’m so happy that I’m married to DH.

Posted too soon! I’m sometimes disappointed, but that helps.

I feel the same. I don't even look particularly happy in my photos, just awkward. I disliked my hair, my dress, everything

My friend was like this and when she felt stronger she renewed her vow and had another special day x

I feel the same! 8 years on and I hate my dress, hair and photos!

My wedding photo album is tucked away in a box somewhere and we don’t have any wedding photos on display. Truth is, we’re neither of us oil paintings and we looked a bit daft all gussied up. Also we’re both self-conscious so never really look anything other than tense and stiff in posed photos.

We’ve got some nice pictures of us from holidays and things where the photographers have managed to catch us looking relaxed and happy and they’re the pictures I enjoy looking at.

I didn’t like mine but now I’m a bit more bedraggled with my second child I realise I look pretty good. I still see the flaws I didn’t like when we first received them but on the whole I’ve come to terms with it