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Original poster

Teetotal wedding?

15 replies

Caspianberg · 07/07/2021 16:40

Well not completely, but mainly. Would you mind?

Dh looking to get married next year. Will be a small 25 ish people wedding. Approx 5 under 3 including our own. So most guests basically family and friends with small children they need to look after the whole day and evenings still.

Dh and I aren’t really drinkers, so I’m thinking just some bubbles to toast after ceremony and that’s pretty much it. Will have afternoon tea and boat trip ( where any guest can order any other alcohol they want also from bar on boat- we will cover).

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 07/07/2021 16:44

Most people would expect exactly that from that type of wedding celebration. It's a small afternoon type thing, so nobody's going to be wanting booze flowing.

Mumdiva99 · 07/07/2021 16:45

Your wedding your way. I did go to a tee total wedding - it was odd only because we didn't know in advance - we knew the bridegroom and used to go drinking with him - so it was unexpected. It was cocktail hour where all the cocktails were virgin that we realised there was no alcohol. (I think we ended up being able to buy wine later on though). It wouldn't worry me for your do at all - the bonus being I could drive and know that it wasn't a boozy affaire.

It sounds lovely by the way with a boat trip and afternoon tea. Have a lovely day.

Mumdiva99 · 07/07/2021 16:46

oh and teetotal wedding we went to....they had a baby about 4 or 5 month later...... (no judgement from me).....but it wasn't mentioned at all at the wedding. - It definitely explained the lack of booze.

TeamNegan · 07/07/2021 16:48

I wanted an alcohol free wedding and some of my family kicked up a fuss about it not being a wedding without alcohol Hmm and I ended up having to have a very limited amount of alcohol there. I personally wouldn’t mind at all and would actually prefer it! Your plans sound lovely!

MouldyPotato · 07/07/2021 16:50

Sounds lovley - if they can pay for their own alcohol then you might find a few people get carried away.

CuriousOrangee · 07/07/2021 16:54

If guests can order their own drinks later on then that's fine.

Most weddings only have a couple drinks/table wine given to guests, then guests buy further drinks at the bar.

Original poster
Caspianberg · 07/07/2021 19:16

Glad to hear it won’t be super frowned upon.

I’m still feeding baby atm, so even though probably finished by then I know my alcohol tolerance is tiny now so much more than a glass of bubbly or two and i will be feeling it.

We will have lots of cake Grin

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 07/07/2021 19:18

We aren’t big drinkers either, but you are hosting people at a celebration so I’d budget half a bottle of fizz per adult

ApolloandDaphne · 07/07/2021 19:22

I love a drink at a wedding but what you have planned sounds perfect. A glass of fizz to toast you then the opportunity to buy a drink later if wanted.

Iris2020 · 09/07/2021 11:35

That sounds really lovely! A boat trip will make for a memorable afternoon.

maxelly · 12/07/2021 13:21

A totally or nearly teetotal wedding, ie no booze at all, or only a small glass of wine to toast with and no way of getting anything more after that, I have to admit would have me a bit quaking - all the small talk with nothing to lubricate with Grin. I would still go if you were one of my nearest and dearest but it wouldn't be my favourite wedding memory! DH's family are from the middle east and while weddings in their culture are technically religious ceremonies and so alcohol is 'forbidden', but none of them are very observant and one of the couple's uncle or cousins is usually deputed to set up a 'pub' from their car-boot or similar and people 'pop out' with much nudge nudge Wink Wink behaviour and come back much merrier!

However what you are planning sounds absolutely fine and in fact fairly standard for a UK wedding. Most weddings I've been to offer sparkling wine for the toast, wine with dinner then you pay for your own drinks after that - admittedly you are missing the wine with food but more than made up for by the free bar after so absolutely fine - just be aware some people go a bit mad when they hear the words 'free bar' (even people, or perhaps particularly people that aren't normally big drinkers) so maybe cover yourselves by only putting a certain amount behind the bar and when it's gone it's gone, or saying its soft drinks/wine/beer/cider covered by you but any spirits or cocktails people pay for themselves or you could have a very big bill and/or some very trollied people on the boat!

MaggieFS · 12/07/2021 13:40

I'd just make sure people know in advance, simply because it isn't the norm, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.

Given what you've said about a bar on the boat, I can't actually tell when the teetotal time would be?

HollowTalk · 12/07/2021 13:42

I think you need to consider your guests and what they would like. It's not teetotal if you're having champagne but it is usual to offer other drinks as well.

Ravenspeckingontheroof · 12/07/2021 13:47

I’m from a pretty religious family and have been to lots of teetotal weddings where no alcohol at all has been served. The only awkward one was where actually buying your own alcohol was also obviously frowned upon.

Ellmau · 12/07/2021 21:56

I think your plan is fine.

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