A nanny at a wedding? Advice welcome!

[GreatOak]

Hi there,

I’d be grateful for some advice! Getting married next year, small ceremony at rather a unique venue, for immediate family only; however, in our immediate family there will by that time be 8 children aged 5 and under (most aged 2!). We’ve no plans to exclude any of them from coming, they are not ours though all much loved. Everyone I have told this to has said, “Have you thought about hiring a nanny for them?” Well, no… I didn’t know that was a thing! I’m also not sure where at the venue we’d designate a nanny to look after them!

Does anyone have any experience of this? Would love to hear from you if so, as it’s something we’d consider to make the whole day better for everyone (including lovely children who will probably be very bored).

Thanking you all in advance.

I was at a wedding where the couples babysitter came along to keep the kids busy, but they'd have been older kids. Given you don't have kids of your own I wouldn't think it necessary to provide and pay for a nanny to look after other people's kids (even family). Kids aged 2 might not be keen to go off to another area with a stranger knowing that their parents are nearby. So it could well end up being a waste of money.

They want a nanny for the day they can hire their own, or not take the kids or actually look after them themselves!

I’m a nanny and have done this.

It was a bit mixed to be honest- the older kids were fine but with the younger ones, they’re not going to want to hang out with some random they’ve never met- they just got upset and wanted to be with their parents. Especially if they’re not used to other childcare. Annoyed me as well as some parents expect you to be a magic Mary poppins figure who can instantly keep tiny unsettled children enthralled while they hover within sight

We had a suite in the hotel with Disney films/colouring/sweets. Five kids in total. It was nice for the older ones. The little ones mostly cried and eyed me warily.

I was at a wedding a few years ago and the bride’s family had this. They used a company specialisting in events childcare - it was great and the kids still talk about it now!

I've been at a wedding where the couple paid one of their nursery staff to come along and do crafts and games in a corner of one of the rooms for about 6 kids aged 1-6 years. It was lovely. We stayed with them a bit and left them a bit, so we didn't leave them completely, but it kept them entertained and meant that we could have a chat and a mingle with our friends every now and again, popping in and out.

I've done this before as a nanny, the venue provided a room, and either the events company (tinies childcare in my case) or the bride and groom provided toys and games. Sometimes we had no kids sometimes we had a handful. One particular one I was mostly responsible for the bride and grooms children.

www.littleguests.co.uk

We used this company. They were really good, all the kids were happy with them.

I've been to a wedding where this happened - it helped that all the children knew each other and were cousins

We had a few children of close family at our wedding age 3-8 so hired DC key worker from nursery and a room at the hotel for after the ceremony and meal (we got married v late afternoon).

It was a chance for the kids to go off, do some craft and play games, watch a DVD or sleep. Meant the parents could have some child free time and didn't have to shoot off at 7pm to put the kids to bed- they were all chilling in their pjs watching a film!

It doesn't really work that great for under 5s. They will cry and want their parents and there are only so many preschool children - I'd say 3 or 4 max - that you can expect one nanny to be responsible for. School aged children is a different story.

You could try it if you have a room where you could show kids films and lay out some toys, on the basis that parents could leave a child there for short periods of time to have a drink in peace. But for 8 under-fives, I probably wouldn't bother, as I doubt it would go well.

When my DC were small and I had a nanny, I paid her to attend a huge family wedding with us and to look after our DC and others in the evening, it was a real help and whilst is sounds like we are too posh to look after our own kids it was more a case of they needed to go to bed and have someone sit with them (watching the TV) just in case there were any dramas.

Other weddings have had children's rooms where there are 'childcare experts' with toys and games plus usually a screen showing a movie, I have always found that works really well if it is a long meal with many speeches, and the problem of kids not wanting to leave their parents does happen, but it is still easier for the parent if there is somewhere to take the DC.

I hate weddings in posh places on cold days where you are shut in an area and the DC are fussing or need to let off steam. Thankfully mine are now adults so it is more watching them drink and hoping they don't embarrass themselves

I used alleventschildcare.co.uk and they were fab. We had quite a few children at our wedding and they had games then a movie for the kids, most of them fell asleep watching it! They were all in a separate room but they brought kids to and fro if they wanted to come back to the main reception

or actually look after them themselves!

This ^^
Why can't the parents take responsibility for their childre?

I wouldn’t bother if the kids don’t know each other well and are under 5/6 years old.

Mine would have been too clingy to us when they were that age. They wouldn't have coped with being left in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person and if it was in the same room and they could see us they'd just come to be with us or ask us to do the crafts with them.

We hired a company for our wedding that specialised in childcare for weddings. They based themselves in a room next to the events room in the hotel and kept the children throughout the meal. They brought a load of play equipment and the kids had crafts and games in there and their meal and had an absolute ball. They ranged in age from 2 to 10. The parents and kids still talk about what a great idea it was 🙂

For that many kids you would need 2 nanny's minimum because a ratios. I've done this at weddings. As pp fine for tinys and older but 2 year olds want their mum! What about a magician? Or rent soft play stuff?

why does everything have to be so complicated?

parents look after their kids. the end

@RampantIvy

or actually look after them themselves!

This ^^
Why can't the parents take responsibility for their childre?

You can take responsibility for your children and still appreciate a thoughtful gesture such as a bride and groom trying to make the event more enjoyable for the max number of people 😳

I've only been to one wedding where this was provided and it was more of a family chill-out room, although two nannies was there. It's great to have a quieter space where you can take kids at a long formal wedding, with or without childcare. Especially relevant on a very hot day, we found! And if your kids are happy to be left to play for an hour whilst you have chance to chat without constant worry/providing entertainment, then so much the better 👍

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

why does everything have to be so complicated?

parents look after their kids. the end

You're going to be furious when you hear about nurseries, preschools, childminders, holiday camps, kids clubs, au pairs...

But they aren't weddings @Laquila.

Having a stranger take care of a bunch of toddlers sounds like a disaster. And 8 kids is too much for one person regardless of their ages.

Sounds to me like the parents just don't want to pay for childcare themselves.

We did this. We had about 10 children between 6 weeks and 11years at our wedding, 2 of which were mine. Found a local babysitting agency and ended up having 2 for the day. It was brilliant they arrived just before the ceremony and got to know the children, played outside games with them during the boring drinks and canapés bit, took them out of dinner after they’d finished, came and joined the dancing and then supervised a film a bit later.
For me it really helped as it let the DGMs off the hook and meant they could socialise without a child wrapped round them. And we knew they were looked after in a rather unusual venue that had mine shafts and running water. The other parents loved it too or at least said they did. We ‘sacrificed’ favours and seat covers to pay for it!!

Oh and if you’re getting married in the Lake District pm me and I’ll tell you who I used.

Have to admit though don’t think I’d have bothered if the DC weren’t mine.