Wedding etiquette

[Squigglynoodles]

We've been trying to plan our wedding for next summer but I haven't the faintest clue what's tradition what's not, what's normal what's not. Is it normal for the mother of the groom to decide to wear the same colours as your wedding colours?

Not in my experience......

I think these days the whole colours you can and can't wear has gone out the window a bit. I personally wouldnt wear a completely white dress to a wedding but one with white as a base colour and a pattern is fine. If you're unhappy about your MIL matching the bridesmaids then just get your husband to me to mention it to her.

Do you mean like your bridesmaid's dresses? Complimentary yes, the same no.

I'm not actually having any bridesmaids just a maid of honour so there isn't going to be your typical bridal party which is why I thought it would be a bit strange and at first thought she was joking 😕

It's as normal as you want to make it.
We did/had:
Speeches (mixed male/female)
Dad walked me down the aisle (cos it made both of us happy)
Rings
Wedding cake
Something old/new/borrowed/blue
DH didn't see me before the wedding

Also:
No white dress (I had a frothy vintage 1950s Grave Kelly affair in a colour)
Engagement ring off ebay.
Also dress off ebay
Handmade invites, placecards, thank you cards (didn't take long and I'm a whizz)
no bridemaids/grooms/best man
no Colour schemes
no Favours
No night party (married at midday, fancy lunch, no evening)
So, no two-tier invites
No gift list
No hen/stag partiesn
No harpist or magicians or giant Jenna to entertain people bored waiting for photos.
No photographer: we got copies of everyone's pics.

DH and I paid for all of it, no one had input.
It was laid-back, relaxed, enjoyable, didn't go on for fucking hours!

I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat and not change a thing.

Congratulations x

My mil and sil to be are both wearing the same colour as my bridesmaids.
I was a bit to start with but haven't said anything & am trying not to let it annoy me. There are bigger stresses planning a wedding than worrying about what others are wearing.

Also agree with pp, me and dp are paying for everything so no input from our parents etc. I didn't want someone paying for things and feeling like I had to give them control of the wedding decisions.

I got married at 11am this morning, in and out of the registry office in 45 mins. Only the kids and parents there, now back home eating bacon butties and going for a nice meal tonight

I think it would be okay. My DB and SIL wore the same colours as my DH and dad which I felt was really nice. My PIL just wore their everyday clothes, so it would have been nice if they'd tried to match!

Are they wearing a block colour?
Id think a block colour would be abit much but if there's hints of the colour in their outfit it would be fine.
Each to their own suppose.

Ah congrats @fudgecat! Wishing you both a long and happy life together!

@fudgecat

I got married at 11am this morning, in and out of the registry office in 45 mins. Only the kids and parents there, now back home eating bacon butties and going for a nice meal tonight

Congrats! This is what I want to do! Not fussed about a big wedding now.

I’m married myself and have been a bridesmaid a few times and I’ve never really given much thought to wedding colours… if the maid of honour and MIL are both wearing blue then who cares, it’s a popular colour, they’ll likely pick different shades and no one will be confused about who’s who anyway. If MIL wants to know where the dress came from so she can buy the exact same one then yikes that’s an issue! As for tradition who cares! As long as there’s a ceremony and plenty of food/drink afterwards with no annoying long gaps then it’ll be great so do whatever you and your fiancé want to do.

And congratulations to @fudgecat 🍾
Your wedding sounds fantastic!

@fudgecat

I got married at 11am this morning, in and out of the registry office in 45 mins. Only the kids and parents there, now back home eating bacon butties and going for a nice meal tonight

Congratulations x

It is fairly normal in the sense that the mothers / MIL usually wear something that compliments the colours of the bridal party.

So for example, my bridesmaids are wearing navy. Mum and MIL are both wearing navy with white / cream / ivory patterns.
Not the same dress or pattern, ans they didn’t plan it but it seemed the logical choice for both.

Neither dress is a bridesmaid dress though so they won’t look like one.

As for other traditions, do want you want.

@fudgecat congratulations

We kept out own wedding very simple, no fuss, 35 guests, no relatives just immediate family and friends.

@Squigglynoodles I got married back in the stone age. Depending on how close you are to your future MIL etc now is the time to find out what their expectations are so everyone lays their cards on the table. If you can have the conversation then you need to say that you will take their wishes into account but obviously there are 2 families that have wishes so that is all they are, wishes. My MIL expected me to invite their friends who lived abroad, Dh hadn't seen them in 20 years, I had never met them and they were surprised when we said no. We were funding the vast majority of it with a small gift from PIL and my parents.

My bridesmaids were in burgundy velvet (Autumn wedding) my Mum wore a muted gold suit which was gorgeous and my MIL wore a burnt orange dress, also gorgeous. So complimentary but not the same colours.

Before covid I went to a wedding where Dh was the best man and I was given a corsage to denote my connection to the groom's family which I thought was truly lovely.

Both my parents walked me down the aisle as they had both raised me, my Dad looked after us whilst my Mum worked a twilight shift so very hands on.

These days you can make a wedding what you want it to be. Just have the day you want only compromise if it isn't going to make you regret it years later.