This wedding is making me feel depressed....it this normal?

[Debbierocket123]

I am due to be married this August and when my fiance proposed to me I was so excited. We are so happy together and I can't wait for our big day to arrive! However, without going into too much detail (this thread would be an essay!) this wedding has put distance between myself and my friends and family, as well as my fiance and his family. Their demands of me and my fiance have been hurtful and it's making the wedding planning so stressful. Is this normal when it comes to planning your wedding? I don't want to sound ungrateful but I've been struggling to "cheer up" these last couple of months I have been constantly crying for no reason. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? I want to enjoy the process now we are so close :) TIAx

You ignore them, it's your wedding, you plan it, how you want it to be.

They have two choices, they accept the wedding will be how you want it
Or
They can fuck off and not attend.

When it comes to weddings people are so frigging selfish;it's about the bride and groom and what they want;what other people want is irrelevant.

Just say NO to anything others try to push on you.

My friend and her DH arranged a registry office wedding in Gretna Green and a meal in a local restaurant afterwards.

They told friends and family the weekend before;told them it was up to them if they came and gave out a list of hotels in the area.

They had about 15 people there.

Oh man I had this too.

In the end we stopped telling people much so they couldn’t give opinion - they complained but got used to it - and then it was also cancelled because of Covid.

We had a small, very different but lovely wedding last August.

If I had my time again; I’d elope. We wanted to, but it really upset MiL. That should have been a sign!

Oh DH and I just went and had a registry office wedding followed by dinner with friends and a ‘no gifts’ policy. We just wanted to be Mr. and Mrs. No bells and whistles. No expectations. No drama.

Is it too late to go ‘small’?

With regards to crying for no reason… have you considered a pregnancy test?

haha - yes I've taken a pregnancy test recently so I know it's not that!

The wedding is only two months away and we've booked and paid for everything but it's not a big wedding anyway. It's the wedding WE wanted I don't want to change anything. I am keeping details a secret from everyone but there are some things that people need to know such as bridesmaids dresses, hair trials, suits, logistics, menu choices etc.... We also have 8 places paid for my fiance's family that won't be letting us know they are coming until the actual day. It is all getting a bit much for me and I am struggling to get out of the slump I have fallen into lol. Thanks for your advice so far

Not telling you until the day is beyond rude.
Have you friends you could invite now instead?

Yes I do have a lot of people I'd rather be there but they are the only family my fiance has coming other than his mum. I don't feel like it's my decision to make.

I can empathise - I'm getting married in August and there are a LOT of 'opinions' flying around.

Our solution - sod the invites, the flowers, the pageantry. We're sending out emails laying out the details and a 'hope to see you there'.

If this year has taught me anything it's that life is too short, and sometimes you just need to concentrate on YOU.

I hope you have a fab day - your way.

Sorry you’re going through that. I guess I’m lucky as I haven’t encountered that. It wouldn’t occur to me to give my opinion on someone else’s wedding unless they asked.

OMG there's absolutely no way I would accept an RSVP on the DAY! How freaking rude.

Can you not say that out of respect you need to know, even if you said it in a nice way, (which they don't deserve) and say, listen put yourself in my shoes, I need to know if you're attending or not, OR - it's your fiance's family, he should be dealing with it.

It should be an enjoyable time for you, not stressing over bad behaviour when they have no right, it's your day.

I'm absolutely gobsmacked that people think this is acceptable.