Have decided just to cancel

[Angbunnyboo]

OH and I have decided just to cancel everything and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders!

Last year and this we had the perfect wedding planned but obvs last year was COVID and this year I have bowel cancer so we had to cancel again and I’ve just had surgery. Still have to have more surgery this summer but we still thought we’d go ahead with a small celebration just to mark the occasion.

We were just going to go to the registry office with a couple of witnesses and then have a celebration dinner. Then my DM started about having family as our witnesses so we agreed to that.

Then we couldn’t find anywhere we liked to have dinner - 20 people on a Monday is surprisingly difficult to do at a nice restaurant. So we decided we’d just book a Gastro pub but the menu wasn’t what we wanted and they wouldn’t change it - drinks menu was fab though!

So we thought about a small marquee in our garden and a caterer, but that would be so much hassle. And then DM started giving us her opinion on everything.

Culminated in me having a total breakdown on Saturday night. So we have decided to cancel. And from going to having the perfect weekend planned to having everything cancelled I feel great - and so fucking free!

No doubt we will get married at some point (probably in secret!) but I can now concentrate on getting better which was what I should have been doing in the first place.

So I shall still be stalking the wedding board as I love hearing about everything everyone has planned but I have admitted defeat! I will live vicariously through all of you for the moment and try again next year!

I feel so much for everyone who had to cancel their weddings planned for last Summer.
To then get your diagnosis and then the operations must have been so much more of a hammer blow.

As you say, focus on your health and do what you want when you do decide to get married.
I speak as a mother of adult dc who generally comments on threads asking about eloping that it would make me incredibly sad but I wouldn't have been giving my opinion unless asked, when I knew you'd had to put so much on hold over the last year and a bit.

Wishing you a full and speedy recovery.

A friend of mine went out during her lunchtime with her DH and 2 witnesses and got married in the local registry office. Not even a special meal in the evening. No one knew until next day when she turned up with her wedding ring.

As well as a shed load of money it saved a lot of stress as to who to invite/not invite.

I think you are right to concentrate on your health. Can you do your original Plan B and get married at a registry office and tell everyone afterwards. Your DM might have her nose put out of joint but there's not a lot she can do about it once you're already married