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Original poster

Not being given away

30 replies

Happyaswhat · 23/04/2021 15:57

Due to the way life has taken me it's really important for me that I'm my own person and not my parents' daughter. This means I really don't want my Dad to walk me down the aisle or give me away. But I don't want to walk in on my own. My fiancé is a single Dad, so I was wondering if we could all walk in together, kind of to show we are a new family.
Is that okay or a bit odd?

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 23/04/2021 16:00

I would, OP - I think that's a lovely idea.

The whole idea of the woman being property is weird anyway.

FlatEarthling · 23/04/2021 16:01

I think that sounds lovely.

Or is the future step child old enough to do it on their own?

YorkshireIndie · 23/04/2021 16:01

I have been to a wedding where they did this. It was lovely as they had children already

supermum87 · 23/04/2021 16:02

Me and my then fiancé walked down the isle hand in hand! It was perfect. Nobody seemed to bat an eyelid! I didn't even think about how anyone would perceive it.

We also got ready in the house together and went in the same car together. I have parents but this was how we wanted to do it.

If it's what you want to do I'd say go for it!

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 23/04/2021 16:02

My partner and I did just this. As it happens, due to Covid we were restricted in numbers and by distancing but planned it this way anyway. I made it very clear I was neither being given away nor changing my name, although he was very welcome to do either should he wish to

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/04/2021 16:04

Of course you can! We got married outside and we walked into the space we had the ceremony with DH holding my DSS’s hand (little best man) and me holding DSD’s (my tiny bridesmaid). It was perfect.

dohdohdoh · 23/04/2021 16:04

That's lovely and not odd at all.

I didn't like property being passed on vibes so I walked down the aisle myself, I still look back at the video and am pleased I plucked up the courage to do it.

cirrusminor · 23/04/2021 16:07

I love the idea of walking down together - when we have our civil ceremony I'll either walk down on my own/just with my sis if she is my bridesmaid (because I think DP has romantic visions of me walking towards him in my dress) or we'll walk down together. Your day, your way - congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Oblomov21 · 23/04/2021 16:16

Yes. Sounds lovely. Ours was.

travailtotravel · 23/04/2021 16:19

I walked myself up the aisle. It was commented on, a) by my dad who wanted to do it but hadn't thought about what it mean - its tradition being a mantra for him b) my girlfriends who were delighted I didn't do it. Enjoy your day the way you want to.

stodgystollen · 23/04/2021 16:22

We went down the aisle together. We already lived together so two individuals becoming one unit seemed daft because we were already a unit. Instead it felt like we were going on the next adventure together, so it made sense to us. The registrar and our witnesses were waiting for us at the top as a welcome.

Topseyt · 23/04/2021 16:40

Not at all odd. I think it sounds like a lovely idea.

There is no reason why we have to stick to one particular method of conducting a wedding. Fathers walking with their daughters is fine if both parties want it. Equally, a woman walking on her own or the couple walking together is also fine. Plenty of room for more than one "tradition" if it suits.

You do what suits you and makes you happy. It isn't entirely without precedent. When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry she began the walk down the aisle on her own but was accompanied by Prince Charles from about the halfway point.

Lottapianos · 23/04/2021 16:43

Being 'given away' is extremely odd. Your idea sounds lovely. Or, you and your man could arrive together in the ceremony room, have a few minutes together with your celebrant, then have the door open and have the guests invited in and shown to their seats

londonmum789 · 23/04/2021 16:49

Go for it! DH and I walked in together at our wedding over 20 years ago - I felt strongly about not being ‘given away’.
Instead I had a lovely first dance - a jive- with my Dad (DH doesn’t dance)

Maggiesfarm · 23/04/2021 16:50

I think it is a lovely idea for you to all walk in together. Being 'given away' is old hat, you are nobody's property.

WingingItSince1973 · 23/04/2021 16:56

I wish I had thought of this with my 2nd marriage. I was living in my own home with my daughter so didn't need my dad to give me away as I was already gone 🤣 Also that was 25 years ago and it was still the tradition for someone to give you away, be it a dad or a close friend. It's very old fashioned thing to do but some people love tradition and that's still OK xx

FabulouslyFab · 23/04/2021 16:56

Everyone waited outside the church with the bridegroom until his bride (my daughter) arrived. Then we went into the church and when we were seated the bridesmaids and groomsmen came in followed by the bride and groom. It was fabulous. 💐

springtimeinbognor · 23/04/2021 16:58

DH and I walked in together. It felt right and nobody commented.

wagonwheelsforever · 23/04/2021 17:05

I love this !!! First of all I was thinking to ask a best friend or a parent figure ... but 💯 it's your wedding so it how you want ! If you are all thinking this is ok then it's your wedding so do it !!!! I think it's a beautiful idea

MixedUpFiles · 23/04/2021 17:09

DH and I walked down the aisle together. Neither of us had any children. We just thought we should approach the ceremony together.

MixedUpFiles · 23/04/2021 17:09

My grandmother shouted out “oh yes”

Whatalottachocca · 23/04/2021 17:11

We did that. It was a second marriage for both of us so we walked in hand-in-hand.

DrRamsesEmerson · 23/04/2021 17:14

We did this (24 years ago, church wedding). My best woman and his best man were waiting for us with the vicar at the altar. Was fabulous, I'm glad we did it that way.

Wiebsa · 23/04/2021 17:14

Lovely idea, not odd at all.

My Dad (RIP) was a good Dad but I didn’t want to be given away, I just strode down at a fast pace.

Saisong · 23/04/2021 17:17

We got married outside and DP walked up to the arbour with our son and I walked up after with our daughter. It felt just right to centre our whole family that way. We'd been together almost 20 years by then anyway!