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Wedding Dresses - where to start??

14 replies

JCWildWest · 23/02/2021 09:12

Hi after some advice because all a bit daunting and I don't have much time.

Getting married in August this year (all being well, looking more likely to go ahead given yesterday's announcements), but I haven't even started to look properly at dresses and now it's only months away. I have of course looked online but with shops being shut I haven't tried anything on, and won't get to for a while yet either (in a shop or boutique). Ordering such an important thing of the internet frightens me too.

I know what I like (minimal/boho) but as I'm not really a dress wearer in real life I have know idea what will actually suit me, my shape etc. I mean these dresses look amazing on a size 6 model on the website but will they look ok on a size 12/14 carrying child and lockdown weight and bingo wings???

Price wise, I can go cheap and cheerful or pay a bit more as I inherited some money which I can put towards a more expensive dress however being quite conservative with money naturally it just doesn't sit right with me to spend £2,000 on a dress I'll wear once? So I'm not sure on that one.

So where do I start? I thought about maybe ordering a load of different styles off like ASOS just to get an idea of what looks best on me, and then returning and looking for something more specific?

Any advice or recommendations very welcome please :) Thank you x

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bravotango · 23/02/2021 12:58

I would see if you can work out a few things (maybe even from things you already own) such as preferred neckline, whether or not you want sleeves etc, then if you have the budget buy a few high street wedding dresses and see if you're on the right track! You might have time to have one made by a local dressmaker - I have just picked mine up and it came in at about £600, so much more thrifty than a bridal shop! She made it in about 3 months. Otherwise I would buy something from Net a Porter/Ghost etc and just have it tailored to fit perfectly! Could also have a look on Etsy, or at bridal separates to get a better idea of what you might like.

I also wanted something minimal (sleeves, no lace), and looked in two bridal shops in between lockdowns last year where everything was lace and sleeveless...

bravotango · 23/02/2021 12:59

I would also recommend looking at Instagram, I took a lot of inspiration from there! Particularly a Spanish brand called Bebas.

peachypetite · 23/02/2021 12:59

Wed to be!

aweegc · 23/02/2021 13:15

Have a look too at websites like Phase 8 and Whistles that have wedding dresses because you can order, try on and send back!

JCWildWest · 23/02/2021 15:34

Thanks everyone, so it wouldn't be frowned upon to order a number of designs from a high street shop and try on and return so I can see what I look like? Like I said I'm not a dress wearer really so got nothing to compare against in terms of things I already own.

Anyone ever had any problems with doing the above? I could afford to do this but only if I got the refunds upon return with no problems.

There is another post on this board about being so over it, I do feel a bit like that about the dress shopping, the excitement has all been sucked out of the whole process since we originally booked the wedding that I just found the prospect quite daunting.

Plus I'd love to do it properly with my mum and teenage daughter in a boutique with a glass of bubbly but this won't be the case :(

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MissMarpleTheMurderer · 23/02/2021 15:37

I'd wait. Shops will be opening in April, trying them on is part of the fun.

atotheb · 23/02/2021 15:45

Wait until shops open and try Wed2b. Really good prices and beautiful dresses

Andbearsohmy · 24/02/2021 20:23

What part of the country are you in? There is a shop local (London area) to me that is doing click and collect. You collect a few dresses, take them home and try them on and return them a few days later. Can then place an order if you like it. I'm sure there are other shops doing the same.

PinotNoisette · 25/02/2021 11:18

With the wedding being in August there's probably not enough time to order in a dress from a bridal boutique, although most of them will sell you the sample at a discount and you can get it altered to fit. Depends what size the sample is though, alterations 1 size up or 2 sizes down is the rule of thumb.

Wed2B as suggested is a more affordable alternative to the traditional boutiques, you buy your size off the rack and take it home on the day. They were doing click & collect in the last lockdown, not sure what they're doing this time around.

I got my current dress online from Phase 8 (after a disaster with my original, expensive, boutique dress!). I probably ordered about 10 dresses from Phase 8, Monsoon and John Lewis and had a big trying on session at home during lockdown. Had to borrow DP's credit card so I didn't max out mine! Absolutely no problems ordering and returning so much stuff.

I did try on a LOT of different styles both in the shops the first time around and online ordering. You just never know until you try something on.

Angbunnyboo · 25/02/2021 13:54

Got mine from Monsoon in the sale and with a reward voucher so bargain! I've ordered two sizes as Im in between so hoping all the diet and exercise I'm doing will mean I fit in the smaller size!

happymummy12345 · 10/03/2021 01:29

It was very different for me. I was 19 weeks pregnant when I got married, and my situation was different. We had a 3 month engagement and planned the wedding within 2 months, so I didn’t have time to wait or shop around. I went to 1 shop, tried on 2 dresses and 2nd one was the one. We got engaged 13th January 2015, set the date mid February 2015, and got married 9th April 2015. As soon as the date was set I went dress shopping. I knew I’d have to get a sample dress. Luckily I knew exactly what I wanted so it was easy for me. I went to a local independent bridal boutique, I tried on 2 dresses and the 2nd dress was the one, fortunately they were happy to sell me a shop floor sample, even though it meant they would no longer have it for other brides to be to try on.

I had always known exactly what I wanted which was a pure white strapless tulle ball gown with a sweetheart neckline, subtle sparkle all over (didn’t want it to look very silver as I knew I’d be wearing yellow gold jewellery), boned bodice, zip back and long train. For me my dress had to be white, not ivory or any other shade of off white, I couldn’t and wouldn’t wear anything but white.

I’d looked on the website and saw a couple I liked a lot. The first dress I tried was the one in the first picture I showed them. It was a beautiful dress but I didn’t like it as much in person as I did in the picture. But the sample was only in ivory. (They said most of them were because not many wear actual white anymore). And as I didn’t have time to order it in white I had to decide between trying a different style of dress that had a white sample (which I didn’t want any other style at all), get the ballgown in ivory (again I wanted to wear white not anything else). Or the third option which was try the only ballgown that the sample was white.

So they got it out. It was the one I’d looked at on the website and didn’t like, which is why I never mentioned it to them. It looked way too silver in the pictures and I wasn’t keen. But when she held it up I loved it. It looked so different in person so to speak. So I tried it on, and instantly fell in love with it.

I also knew type of veil I wanted, long, the same length as my dress train, sparkly and two tier, as I wanted to wear the blusher over my face to walk down the aisle. They had a perfect one in ivory that I tried on with the first dress. Obviously I didn’t want that dress but I did want the veil. So they looked to see if they had the same one in white, and they did.

It was everything I wanted and more, a pure white sparkly strapless tulle ball gown with a sweetheart neckline, boned bodice, zip back and long train. I also got a perfect veil, same length as my dress train, sparkly and two tier, as I wanted to wear the blusher over my face to walk down the aisle.

My wedding was 9th April 2015. My first fitting was mid March, my second was the end of March and my final fitting was 5 days before the wedding as I was pregnant and wanted to keep the zip back on my dress as I don’t like corset backs at all. It was way too big when I got it, it needed to be shortened, and taken in all over, especially around the bust area. The in house seamstress did a fantastic job.

When it was finished you’d never have known it wasn’t made to measure, it was perfect.

I was so happy I didn’t have to compromise at all on my dress or the type of back just because of the short time frame and with me being pregnant. I didn’t want to. And I was so comfortable in it. I didn’t want to not wear my dream dress just because I was pregnant.

I never worried at all that it wouldn’t fit. I literally trusted the seamstress who promised me it would fit perfectly, and it did.

JCWildWest · 27/04/2021 11:11

I still can't fine anything Sad I had some more arrive in the post over the weekend, bawled my eyes out trying them on, just nothing feels right. My Mum has booked an appointment at a proper boutique this weekend and told me not to worry about the price, which is lovely of her, but I am just started to feel daunted by the whole thing and the thought of it fills me with dread!

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altiara · 31/05/2021 00:10

@JCWildWest how are you getting on now with the dress shopping?

JCWildWest · 31/05/2021 18:45

Thank you for asking, I went to said boutique and found a wonderful dress. Not at all what I had in mind but looked fab on. I’ve bought the sample which fitted pretty much perfectly anyway. I’ve spent more than I originally planned but less than it could have been.

After my tears and feeling fat and yucky, my mum said to me it’s not you that’s wrong it’s the dress. And the right one made me see I’m not fat and flabby but actually pretty damn hot!

I just didn’t realise how important the dress actually is, from someone who isn’t ‘girly’ I thought I didn’t care that much but actually it’s incredibly important to feel good about yourself and I look fucking amazing. My to be DH will be mind blown to see me. Although he always says I look my best first thing in the morning Smile

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