Is anyone else just feeling so over it

[Elbels]

It's horribly self indulgent I know because there's so many other more important things going on in the world but I've fallen out of love with our wedding.

One cancellation last year, the one we have planned for May likely to be moved again. I was so so excited about having a celebration in a gorgeous venue with all our friends and family, like all the other weddings we've been to and adored.

I know it's just a legal document and being married is the most important outcome but I can't imagine loving it with just 15 people (half of whom being his family who he isn't close with) wearing masks and not being able to drink and dance and eat and hug.

I'm being ridiculous aren't I? I wish I was 4 years younger and could just chill out and not worry about when we're trying to fit having children in around this too but being mid-30s doesn't really give that option.

Argh!!

I agree completely op! Mines this summer, I'm just hoping it can go ahead, even small numbers, it's not what we wanted, but I'm sick of worrying about it now!

I'm with ya.

Even if it happens now I've left it to late to plan and arrange all the stuff I wanted. And I was looking forward to the build up.

I feel like cancelling and just bombing down the reg office and a meal afterwards with our families if that's allowed later in the year but I don't want to regret it in a few years time

Yes I really feel like I cant be bothered now. Originally booked for July 2020 when I was 6 months pregnant, now we've had the baby I can't muster any interest in having a wedding at all, I don't want a shit socially distanced one and I darent send out a third round of save the dates for 2022 so I expect we'll just move the booking to a random date next year and see how we feel then. Friends of mine had the whole white wedding shebang planned for July 2020 and after trying 3 more times in 2020 are just having a registry office simple thing when they can because they've fallen out of love with the idea of their 'big day'.

Yep, over it. Cancelled our “big wedding” planned for September 2020, downsized to a covid registry office for Dec but that got cancelled too.
Now 27 weeks pregnant and just don’t know when it’ll ever happen.
We were lucky to get our deposit back from the big wedding, still have one with the photographer but hope she’ll be available for whenever we do go ahead. Will stick with registry office I think

We moved ours from May 2020 to September 2020 and then to end of April 2021. So 10 weeks away 😐

We are having a registry office wedding anyway and numbers for the ceremony were 45.

Should have had another 45 for the evening but we've accepted there's no chance of that now. I doubt we will be able to have the numbers at the actual ceremony so waiting to see what happens.

I'm really deflated over it and tempted to move it now but DP wants to wait and see. I'm fed up to be honest, it's taken the shine off it.

" I wish I was 4 years younger and could just chill out and not worry about when we're trying to fit having children in around this too but being mid-30s doesn't really give that option. "

Registry office. You can have a party at any time.

I've got friends on their third wedding cancellation. They don't want children but I am surprised they are okay dealing with the stress and I think they've lost money. Truthfully I think they want the showy wedding more than anything else.

You can’t even book a registry office at the moment 🤷‍♀️

Feel so sorry for you all.
I went to a wedding[a handful of guests instead of the full guestlist], only a few days before first lockdown.
It wasnt the same, but the couple wanted to get married then, rather than postpone. They are very glad they did. They were thinking to have some sort of do after covid, with the pre invited guests that didnt go, but that could all still be be years away now.

@justanotherneighinparadise

You can’t even book a registry office at the moment 🤷‍♀️

I know, but when you can.

My friends thought I was a doom monger saying the first reschedule wouldn't happen. I just keep my trap shut now.

It isnt self indulgent and ridiculous op, to want a wedding like millions of other people have had down through the ages. Not at all. . And to enjoy the build up too.

If that was our wedding we would just get married and have a reception type event when this is all over, if you wish you could have a Church blessing or renewing of vows before to make it as wedding like as poss.

Yep! Our big wedding should have been in June, we rescheduled to January, then we replanned for 6, then 30.

Then we planned for 15 in January and the big party in Jan 2022.

Then we went into tier 4 in December and the Registrars cancelled all weddings until the end of Feb, so we rebooked for 13th March.

Then we went into lockdown again, now if we have to give notice for a third time we just might not bother

The next person that head tilts and says 'it's the ceremony that counts, not the party' is going to get (metaphorically) punched in the face, as that is what we have been trying to do!

I'm so over it too. Ready to throw in the towel. May 2020 cancelled now may 2021 looking grim.

Can anyone work out if a reception ie food and drink is allowed for the 15 people or is it a ceremony and leave?

I just can't work it out. Our celebration was to be in the venues restaurant..where does that leave us?

@bmachine We're in the same position. We're yet to confirm with the venue but I suspect if it's indoors and before 17 May, the reception can't go ahead.

I think receptions are fine! Pretty sure the numbers apply to ceremonies and receptions.

While funerals can continue with up to 30 mourners, the number of people able to attend weddings, receptions and commemorative events such as wakes will rise to 15.

@bravotango

I think receptions are fine! Pretty sure the numbers apply to ceremonies and receptions.

While funerals can continue with up to 30 mourners, the number of people able to attend weddings, receptions and commemorative events such as wakes will rise to 15.

@bravotango I had confirmation from my venue that because im before 17th of may that we would only have outdoor dining allowed in two households or rule of 6 at very best

currently deciding whether to risk moving it to august- I still feel like something will scupper it and im so exhausted with all the rejigging I am seriously considering just cancelling or postponing by a ANOTHER year or maybe more to hopefully be over this . DP wants to try for august but im shattered by all the uncertainty and dont know if I can handle more 'what if's'

We were before the 17th too, currently thinking about September as a next date. As per my first post of being over it, I can't imagine spending another year feeling this way and in limbo before the next phase of our life begins. Is September mad?!

I feel you, May then October then July. I'm in Scotland though so I have no idea what's happening. Also to all those people saying oh just have a party later. It's not the same. I will probably end up doing similar as I was supposed to have a ceilidh with 100 or so people. However it won't really be a wedding reception it'll just be a party.

Also it's not about the party. I'm getting married in a church that's the size of cathedral, it can literally fit about 1000 people in it. Yet I might be allowed 20.

Last bit of rant. It's not just about the day it's all the planning that needs done. I need to get numbers in for food. How on earth do I do that when I don't know how many people I'm allowed? Luckily I was pretty organised before and I've bought everything but my dress still needs altered. There are some girls on the Scottish Facebook page who haven't even been able to get a dress or a ring yet because all the shops are closed. Also I'm so worried about having to potentially cancel with suppliers, change what I'm getting from them and still paying what I was going to pay for 100 people. They have all been so kind (except one) and accomodating but I can't expect them to change things again it's not fair on them.

Ugh felt good to get that out. I always feel guilty as I know there are worse things happening than me not getting my wedding. However I am so sheltered from it. I literally only know 3 people who have had covid and it's like my mum's friends. I'm late 20s and I live in Highlands so there's very few cases up here.

I don't know about other but I would find it really weird a year after I'm married getting back into my wedding dress etc. (If I'll even fit it haha).

I'm praying for 50 but by the time I eventually get my wedding I'll be engaged over 3 years!

We're going ahead on 30th April - with 15 of us and then a small do at home. We've moved the bigger reception to same day next year to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. It's not the same but so what, I'll wear my dress again and get my hair done etc. Sod it.

We've tried to move the wedding but it was proving a nightmare to get car/photographer etc so we're just going for it.

It all depends on the numbers/restrictions going the right way obviously but fingers crossed.

Hope things work out for everyone, and you all get all or at least some of the day you planned!