Weddings with divorced parents

[keavney]

My ex husband and I divorced years ago. My ex partner has never done Christmas, birthdays or family get togethers with his children, his choice. He has very limited contact, blaming everyone else for his lack of interest. My daughter's announced she wants her dad to walk her down aisle & give speech and I am devastated. I was truly left holding the baby & this feels wrong. I don't want to ruin the day nor do I want him to stay away, this needs to be my daughter's choice. We've paid towards her sisters wedding and will make a contribution but truly feel this sucks.

That does suck. Two positives:

1. It’s a credit to you that your daughter has decided to involve her father (even though he doesn’t deserve it). She must feel secure in her relationship with you if she’s not tiptoeing around you and worried you’ll be upset/make a big deal of her asking him to be involved.

1. If he’s not been involved much in her life he won’t have much to say in his speech.

I did the same as your daughter. My parents split when i was in my teens. My dad (also admitted) that he hasn't been the best dad and didn't do much for us. But i still wanted him and had him walk me down the aisle and give a speech. I feel that my mum felt the same way as you do. To make her feel more involved my mum and DH mum were our witnesses and signed the register. Made her day to be able to do that as its usually the bridesmaid and best man that do this.