2nd marriage in your 40s

[hugocat]

What did you / are you doing differently?

Ie dress, venue, guests etc. I want something small (max 30 people next year ) and simple but already got 5 requests for bridesmaids grrrr

Leverage the experience you have garnered in your 40 years and do things YOUR way.

Politely decline the bridesmaids requests if you don’t want bridesmaids

One of the advantages of growing older!

Good advice from Hagotcha

Do brides over 40 even have bridesmaids usually? I don't know the etiquette at all.

We did the big weddings first time round and there was an expectation from my mum that it would happen again.

Instead we're hosting a long weekend in a country barn for 23 people. Whole weekend is being catered and we're spending money on accommodation and fantastic food and drink for everyone.

Getting married in a basic registry office ceremony the week before and having a humanist ceremony involving both families at the weekend.

We just want a really laid back weekend with our nearest and dearest and are spending money on whats most important to us. Can't be doing with lots of fuss!

I'm not 40, I'm 36 (we'll be 38 by the time we have our ceremony). I didn't have a big wedding the first and always felt like I missed out. So I'm wearing my dress but we're hiring a beach house and have a beautiful garden wedding.

@hugocat

Do brides over 40 even have bridesmaids usually? I don't know the etiquette at all.

Who gives a flying fig? If you want them, go for it If you don’t, politely decline

Actually, rather sadly, our wedding would have been Covid compliant, although was 10 years ago! Me, in simple off white dress, DH in suit, in registry office with around 10 people.

Evening meal was at a small restaurant in Cornwall that opened for the evening which normally would have been closed.

Apparently it was lovely (but DD1 had an asthma attack so we were at the hospital in Truro...)

We also had a brunch the day after and was a nice meet up before everyone went their separate ways...

We had a smaller, intimate wedding but splashed out on going abroad with our nearest and dearest. I had a proper wedding dress but ditched the veil and heels. We went for a relaxed celebration without set traditions which I just felt were there to please other people.
Of course you can have bridesmaids. Couples have their children chose how old they are. You don't have to be a teenage virgin to have a 'proper' wedding. I think once you live together or have a child, it doesn't matter how old you are.