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Original poster

How did your wedding dress make you feel?

48 replies

jendifer · 08/02/2021 22:46

Just had a cry that I’m shorter and fatter than my bridesmaids so I’m going to look terrible in a dress against them.

A friend has spent ages saying about how the bride wants to look amazing and we can find something that will make me look great but I’ve got off the call with her and cried about it.

Did you feel amazing in your dress?

OP posts:

Seriously79 · 09/02/2021 19:27

First time - amazing!

Second time should be happening in about 8 weeks - Covid depending 🤔

My dress is gorgeous! And I do love it, but I'm over a stone heavier than when I tried it on last summer and it was snug then 🙄

Everyday I 'try' to start getting back to my healthy eating, but having lost my job, confidence and mojo, along with a teething 18 month old and home schooling a teenager, I'm in the biscuit tin by 10am most mornings.

I think it's because, we just 'don't know' if the wedding is going to happen, I keep telling myself, I'll start again tomorrow- well now there aren't many 'tomorrow's' left 🤷‍♀️ and the panic is stressing me out and making me eat more 😩

Emeraldshamrock · 09/02/2021 19:29

When is the wedding?

BackforGood · 09/02/2021 20:12

Yes, I felt amazing, but I think that was just that the whole day was lovely. I was just so happy and I was marrying my dh and I was surrounded by all the people who love us.
I wasn't going for any sort of 'image of how a bride "should" look.
I got married in the days when the photographer was asked to take pictures of the event, and I was never in a situation where anyone was trying to 'create an image'.
I think that is the key.
Forget trying to look like some model image, and find a dress you are going to be comfortable in for a long day. A dress that suits you. A dress you can comfortably wear even if you have to get in and out of a car , or go to the toilet, or climb up some stairs, or have a dance, or sit down to eat. If you feel comfortable, you will relax and you will enjoy the day and you will look lovely.

TheBuffster · 09/02/2021 20:25

Have you looked at wed2be.co.uk ?

Even if you don't get one from then, it's good to use as a starting off point as they carry loads of styles and can be less snobby than some wedding dress boutiques. My sister tried on dresses in there and it cemented what she didn't want. Ended up getting one she tried elsewhere in a posh boutique on eBay then adjusted by a dressmaker. Around £600 for the lot.

My best friend was short and a size 16+ when she got married. She opted for a really full skirted ballroom princess corset dress. She looked amazing. Had size 10-12 bridesmaids but we're in plain sheath dresses so she looked more striking.

The bridesmaids are not the main event. You are.

I would also really, really recommend you get a dressmaker involved to fit it. I've seen some miracles performed with one ( and a disaster of two without)

Try on veils, tiaras, headpieces, flowers. Ask husband to be what he likes.

Decide your budget and stick with it. Be realistic. It's a balance between knowing it's only one day and it's your one day😉

TheBuffster · 09/02/2021 20:32

Oh and don't be alarmed by sizes. Most brides go up at least two sizes compared to their regular wardrobe. Depending on the brand, they all fit differently.

So don't buy anything you have not tried on elsewhere in the exact same dress.

I had a range of about 6 or so different sizes when searching which all fit differently.

Be prepared mentally because the sizing up will make you feel fat if you are not making allowances for the silly sizing they use.

Perhaps look into some great heels. I'd personally fall over but a bride I know who had a 50s dress used her heels as a focal point. She looked stunning.

GloriaGuadalajara · 09/02/2021 20:34

I was a size 14 at my wedding, my only bridesmaid was a size 6-8 and looked absolutely stunning, but you know what - so did I! I chose quite a simple dress because I didn't want the faff of falling over a train or not being able to use the toilet on my own, and it made me feel like a million dollars.
The only thing I will say is when you try on dresses and you think you've found the one - TRY SITTING DOWN IN IT.
I crucially did not do this and when I sat down to sign the register my boobs (which looked totally fine when I was standing) sort of surged forward and rather stole the show, the photos of that lovely moment were too booby to go in the wedding album. That's my only regret.

moirarosebabay · 09/02/2021 20:40

My first wedding my dress felt amazing. It was £800 out of a wedding shop- fishtail design which I never thought I'd like but loved it when I tried it on. I'd got very into running and the weight had come off steadily in the last few weeks. You have loads of time! Looking back I think I was running away from the marriage as I didn't love the groom but didn't see a way out. The second time i had put on a few stone, bought a cheap dress off the internet but it just didn't suit me. Then I went to monsoon and got a dress for about £160 which I did like and it looked nice with the make up and hair all nicely done but I wasn't as happy in. Just do what works for you. It's not up to your bridesmaids.

TheBuffster · 09/02/2021 20:43

Oh and please don't be sad. Your husband loves you and when you walk down the aisle everyone else fades away.

Guineapigbridge · 09/02/2021 20:45

I felt amazing in my dress. I also deliberately didn't chose one bridesmaid because she was prettier and slimmer than me and I didn't want to be upstaged. I know that is so shallow and I've never admitted it to ANYONE but I'm still glad that I did it.

Original poster

jendifer · 09/02/2021 20:46

I’ve found a few dresses I like online, but aware I either need to do off the peg or wait for shops to open and either way may need a dressmaker to alter, especially the length.

I’m so excited about everything else about the wedding, but I could cry about the dress which is really out of character for me.

I can definitely drop some weight between now and then, but I don’t know what kind of size dresses to try now- the size I am or order the size I want to be, knowing it won’t come for a month or so?

I’ve got some good shoes that I really like, and a beautiful headpiece from a friend. But I can’t think about a dress without feeling overwhelmed

OP posts:

Guineapigbridge · 09/02/2021 20:47

^ that was coming up 20 years ago now and I'm way less shallow.

TheBuffster · 09/02/2021 20:53

You need to go at least one size up normally, so I'd say try 2 sizes up then you can always get it adjusted if you lose weight.

Try not to panic, I was the same. You will find something you love. Just don't limit your options and try lots of styles.

TheVolturi · 09/02/2021 20:54

I loved it at the time and I felt lovely. But I wouldn't choose that style now. If we had a blessing I wouldn't want to rewear it as I don't actually like it now!

Pebbles16 · 09/02/2021 20:56

Six weeks to my wedding I did not have my dress. Then I did. First attempt did not make me happy. Revised version made me feel lovely (although my mum did my corset up a bit wrong, but didn't matter in the long run)

thelegohooverer · 09/02/2021 20:59

They knew what they were doing in the 80s - truss the bridesmaids up in peach taffeta and you’ll look amazing beside them!

Seriously though, brides look radiant because the happiness shines out. I once saw a thread where people posted pictures of themselves in their wedding dress beside a picture of a model wearing it and in 100% of them the bride looked so much better. I wasn’t expecting that but in every single case, it was true.

It won’t matter who is beside you. I guarantee you will shine on your day!

BrilliantBetty · 09/02/2021 21:06

I felt awful in mine. It didn't fit properly, especially the bit between bust and stomach, and the skirt was too pouffy. I hate the photos because I just look uncomfortable.
I'm a slim size 8, 5ft6.
It was the fit that was the main problem.

Kolo · 09/02/2021 21:33

I'd recommend going to a dress shop and listening to advice from the fitters. They sort of dress you like, or you think you'll look good in might not actually be the best thing. I tried on a few I liked, then some that the fitter chose. I ended up with one of her choices because it really flattered my shape. I'd have never picked that dress off the rails for myself, I'd never have thought I could wear it.

YukoandHiro · 10/02/2021 06:27

Exactly what @Kolo said happened to me too

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 10/02/2021 06:36

[quote paintfairy]@YukoandHiro because the photos would look very strange?! You do one or the other. Unless you want to look like you are all from different weddings.[/quote]
Does it really matter? Those naff staged photos with everyone in 'complimentary' dresses look so dated now.

Wear what you feel good in op, listen to others but ultimately it's your wedding and your choice

rollonoctober · 10/02/2021 07:02

@YukoandHiro

Exactly what *@Kolo* said happened to me too

And me! Even if you end up buying elsewhere, going to a proper bridal shop with an open mind and trying on what the fitter there suggests is well worth it - they will have seen hundreds of brides of all shapes and sizes so will have a better idea of what will work. My wedding dress ended up being quite different to what i imagined, but I absolutely loved it.

Ellmau · 14/02/2021 12:44

WTF? The bridesmaids dresses should be picked to complement yours, NOT the other way around!

You need to go to a shop and try things on to see what looks best on you, whether that's long or short. Preferably without the bridesmaids in this case. You need someone who will be honest but supportive.

A-line is the most flattering shape on most people.

AliasGrape · 14/02/2021 12:56

I felt fabulous. I was a good 3 dress sizes bigger than my bridesmaids who had the added advantage of being bloody stunning the pair of them too. I’m a bigger build anyway and, although I did make an effort with healthy eating and exercise in the run up to the day I then got pregnant so was in the early pregnancy super bloated (and knackered and nauseous) phase.

I still felt great. And I absolutely love the photos of the day even though there’s not one I can look at and feel totally happy with my appearance - I don’t look like a model or like one of the Instagram brides I’ve seen - but I look so happy and in love and the pictures of the day are stunning because they just radiate happiness.

I really do understand the insecurities but honestly there’s a dress out there for you. I was a bit dreading dress shopping partly because I was worried nothing would fit and I’d look shit, and partly because I’ve lost my mum and thought it would be too sad. But it was quite a nice experience in the end - there was only one shop I went in where none of the dresses would go near me and the assistant was really snotty, and to be fair a little Googling beforehand would have tipped me off to that. Everywhere else the assistants were lovely and I had a range of things to try - I only looked below a certain budget and made that very clear from the off. I looked mainly at sample sales and there were dresses in all sizes in them, however my dress ended up being a new made to measure one but was just very reasonably priced compared to others similar.

Elieza · 14/02/2021 13:08

Have you seen Say Yes To The Dress or any other wedding dress programme?

Some of the women who go in there look like they’ve dropped a dress size just by trying on a different dress!

One of these shows had a bride about a size 20 and when they got her into a flattering style she looked like a curvy 14. The poufy skirt made her waist look much smaller than the previous tight dress that just wasn’t flattering and made her look like a sausage with no waist.

The corsetry in dresses is amazing. There will be one for you.

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