Attending an Abroad Wedding in Summer 2021 - madness?!

[Dreamingsleeper]

Hi there

My partner and I have been invited to a 5 day abroad wedding in Italy in August. The bride and groom are sending emails urging everyone to book flights and accommodation but I feel we should hold off until we have a clearer idea of travel restrictions etc. Moreover, the reduction in scheduled flights during Covid means that there actually AREN’T any flights to book from our local airport (in the north)! We’d have to fly to London then fly to a city 3+ hours away at the moment and hire a car (something which I was loathe to do with a baby and toddler). But then local flights might be rescheduled later in the year and we’d be stuck with inconvenient flights.

However my husband thinks we should just go for it - the wedding is in a small town with limited accommodation and he feels that if we don’t book now, they might fill up with other wedding guests.

Am I just being negative thinking that it probably won’t go ahead anyway? Or are the bride and groom the crazy ones for thinking an abroad wedding of 100+ people will actually go ahead this year??

Personally I think people trying to organise abroad weddings this year are being unreasonable. I'm supposed to be going on a hen do abroad which was originally booked for last year and keeps being rescheduled. I'm pretty sure I'll lose about £500 quid when it inevitably gets cancelled as my travel insurance won't cover it.

Yes I think it’s unreasonable too! I guess I feel aggrieved at having to spend what will no doubt be over £1000 to be there when we’re struggling financially because of Covid. Also when we are finally allowed abroad, I want to spend the money going away with my own family to a place of my choosing. I just feel it’s a bit arrogant to ask people to commit so much when people are struggling. Maybe this is why I’m actually hesitant to book

Madness indeed!

The bride and groom are being ridiculous, there's no point nor logic for doing this. I wouldn't be going.

Even if going away in August is possible, the last thing I'd want to be doing is spending five days and a lot of money at an event where my time would not be my own.

Can you reserve accommodation which can be cancelled without penalty? I would then look at potentially driving to Italy, I've done it via Germany and 2 overnight stops, make it into a 2 week trip, saves the holiday time flights and hire car but obviously adds petrol and hotels (or camp sites). You don't need to book ferries or city hotels far in advance so you can see whether it's going ahead and whether there now convenient flights before committing but I highly recommend a road trip, we did loads when the kids were small, typically would be 2500-3000 miles so comparable, but they were 8&10 when I did Germany and Italy, the German castles were a big hit!

This exactly. The bride and groom have scheduled ‘events’ every day of the 5 day wedding (including the wedding itself) - think wine tasting, late evening welcome meal etc, none of which are really suitable for young kids. My youngest will (probably) still be breastfeeding so I can’t really leave them at home with grandparents. The bride and groom don’t have kids so they’ve not thought about kid-friendly stuff - fair enough, their wedding, their choice. But I’d much rather choose a family friendly holiday to spend our money on considering it’ll probably be the only holiday we have this year.

@AChickenCalledDaal sorry above post was in reply to yours

@movingonup20 I never thought of a road trip! I guess it could work but neither me nor my husband have much experience driving that far or even much experience driving abroad. It could be an option if flights are still not operating

If it were me I would leave the flights but book accommodation with free cancellation and let them know you will attend the wedding but will be using the other days as your own holiday with family and will miss the other 4 days of activities.

I personally wouldn't go. Like you say id rather have a holiday with my own family if we're allowed
However what about only booking accommodation so it doesn't fill up then book flights locally when you know if you can go and your airport gas started flying there.

I wouldn't be arsed to go to this with kids though it sounds like a adult type of break and stressful. The activities are not kid friendly so you probably won't do them which means the bride will be pissed at you.

Say thanks for invite but no ta

I was invited to a wedding last year which was postponed due to covid. In my home country but I live abroad. The wedding was rescheduled for early this year and save the dates were posted in communal chats.
She then privately message me ( and some other friends who also live overseas) and said if there were still restrictions in place that they would be going ahead with a small intimate family wedding so please not to book flights in case the friends wouldn't be able to attend. I wasnt planning on booking flights anyway but I appreciated that she acknowledged the unlikelyness of big weddings this year and didnt want to put people out.
Your friends sound unrealistic. I wouldn't book anything as the faff of those flights alone with a baby and toddler would make me dread the trip.

I would book accommodation and flights on a cancellable rate (think BA are still offering free changes to flights but not sure what your dates are) if you want to go AND can wfh/self isolate for at least two weeks on your return should there be a quarantine period imposed on your dates. We flew in October when it was allowed and it felt perfectly safe (to us) and the air on planes is filtered so frequently plus with such a short flight there’s no real excuse for someone to need to remove their masks to eat etc.

Personally I think the wedding plan sounds fab and a lovely way to celebrate when most vulnerable people will have been vaccinated and the global economy is trying to get off its knees.

Do you think the "urging" email to invitees could also be a way of measuring who is actually still planning to go? If they have 100 guests invited they probably want a rough idea how many still intend to make the trip?

Speaking as someone due to get married in Italy this summer, I have already had a few guests say they will only come if they've received the vaccine.

Separately, it sounds like quite the toll with 2 small children (Covid or no Covid!). Are the bride and groom close family/friends?