My wedding just got called off

[elisroses]

'Dream' destination wedding been in the pipeline for two years officially fell apart this morning. I knew it was coming. More and more people dropping out due to Covid/furlough. I was hoping for the best but the worst has happened. Can't say I'm surprised though. Just not sure what to do to be honest. Partner wants to push a year, but all I can think is it's another year of uncertainty and stress just for it to possibly fall through again then. I want to have a small registry office wedding in the UK with all our family, and then for those who can travel to the destination still atleast we can all have our big family holiday and knees up after a shitty year. It all just feels a bit shit now to be honest. I'm over it.

Just get married and have a vacation whenever you can. It could be a really long way away or it could be in months, but don’t postpone your marriage.

@TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom

Just get married and have a vacation whenever you can. It could be a really long way away or it could be in months, but don’t postpone your marriage.

That's what I think, especially if you want to start trying for a baby soon

I'm really sorry OP. I'd probably do a nice register office wedding too, at this point. The important thing is to be married. You could either just get we'd the two of you and replan a 'proper' wedding when life is more normal or scrap the original idea altogether and gather together your family and just do it asap.

I'm so sorry, that's rubbish

That's what I would do.
Have a small, lovely and intimate wedding now and a big fun trip with friends when you can.
It will still be special.

We've all paid for our holidays. We could easily afford a small registry thing here and then still have what would of been our wedding as a holiday for those who still want to go. Have a blessing or just a party out there. So many people looking forward to it it seems silly to do anything different. I'm not willing to put off getting married, we live together in our house with our kids and a mortgage, we may as well be already. Just sad he won't agree and wants to keep the big wedding and keep pushing it back. Lockdown has changed my priorities to be honest. Being married and the family time are the parts I don't want to miss out on.

I'm sorry OP, that's really sad. We got married last Friday (just in time !) after it was originally postponed from May. It was a really lovely day and felt really intimate with just 15 people. I think its gong to be a quite a while before weddings will be normal again so perhaps go for a small wedding and the big holiday as previously suggested. Either way, good luck

I’m sorry

The same happened to us in May. We got married in August. Massively different to what we’d planned but lovely and I am so glad we did it. MIL wasn’t thrilled and wanted us to have a bigger day, to push back until next year, but even she’s glad we did it.

Talk to your fiancé, but I’d definitely be on the side of getting married now, enjoying it despite the differences, and then planning something later if and when that can happen.

You're along OP, my UK wedding went tits up in June and we've rebooked for the same time next year but I'm even questioning whether that's too soon to hope for practically speaking.
May I suggest the day of you get roundly drunk if you don't mind alcohol, or at the very least have a nice meal together. Our mates sent cards and balloons and booze on our would've been date a d we had a blast together in the end. I wasn't going to drink lots as the DCs were home but bless my DD who told me, it's OK mum, drink gin we don't mind (she's 13). I did indeed drink gin and it helped!
I just keep thinking this too shall pass and it will make it so much more special.
Not sure if you do Facebook but there is a great group called The Postponed Brides Club on there that has been brilliant.

@TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom

Just get married and have a vacation whenever you can. It could be a really long way away or it could be in months, but don’t postpone your marriage.

I agree.

The marriage is more important than the wedding.

We pulled our wedding forward and got married on Wednesday. Our wedding was originally planned for the 14th November so we had already cut our numbers and changed venue twice.
For us it wasn't about the party we just wanted to be married to each other.
We got married at the town hall and then went for a meal in a local restaurant and it was really really lovely.

I'm in the "just get married when you can and have a great holiday another time" camp.

FWIW there was a couple in the news (the White Christmas couple) that got married at the Roman Baths in Bath this week. It might be worth seeing if they have any availability for December because they don't charge much more than a regular wedding www.bathvenues.co.uk/weddings-roman-baths-and-pump-room

It works really well with small numbers and it is still something special.

I'm completely with you, OP. The key thing surely is to be married, especially as you have children. I think it is absolutely crazy to defer a legally important commitment for the sake of being able to have a party. A couple of people I know are doing just that (children involved) an I just can't get my head around it.

But I kind of feel this way about weddings in general - our own wedding would have met COVID requirements 12 years ago :)

My daughter had to postpone her wedding this spring so I understand just how heartbreaking this is.

Now you just need to decide what’s most important to you. Do you want a big family wedding with every uncle, babysitter, local shop keeper and family friend in attendance or do you want to marry overseas or is getting married sooner rather than later your favourite option.

Decide what you (you n fiancé) want, then you can make the arrangements. But please remember, you wedding is about one lovely, magical day. Your marriage is about forever. Don’t get too hung up on the little things.

All the best of luck for now and your future, it will all be ok eventually.