Should we still get married or postpone?

[2020GETINTHEBIN]

Bit of a backstory - this year has been bloody awful. My Grandad died in January and afterwards the whole family had a big fall out causing lots of tears and upset. I was due to get married in May so that gave me something to look forward to. Of course COVID had other plans when it came to that and it got cancelled.
The end of May my sister suddenly passed away.
We had rescheduled to get married in October and we had the attitude of after what happened to my sister we would go ahead with the 30 limit as life is too short etc. Then 3 weeks before Boris cuts it down to 15!
We were due to have a church wedding and then a nice hotel reception but we just don't know if it'll be worth that for less than 15 guests. DH's parents are coming over from abroad especially for the wedding and will likely still come over either way.
We just don't know what to do. Still have a church wedding? See if we can get a registry office wedding last minute while his parents are over and have a blessing at a later date. Postpone.. but then when will all this be over?! We were hoping to start trying for baby #2 once we got married as I'm 33 and DC1 is 4 soon and I don't want to either delay that or be pregnant at a wedding we've waited so long for if we do postpone. But then I don't want to plan things around a pregnancy in case we aren't so lucky as before and it doesn't happen this time!
This year has just left me feeling so bitter about everything.

Ah, you've had a bad run of luck with this. I might have said postpone, but given what you've said about your DP's parents coming over and baby plans, I would do it and resolve to have a small but lovely celebration. You can plan a big party for the christening instead!

To add to that, I would still do the church. The ceremony is for you and you deserve what you've originally planned. Will the hotel do you a nice meal as a smaller reception event?

@ButteryPuffin Thank you. I like your positivity 'the christening' haha!
I just don't know. I think the wedding has been my focus since losing my sister and the thought of it not happening has just brought all my emotions that I'd tried to hide away from to a head and I just feel so.. sad and defeated. I just don't know if a registry office etc would be an anti climax or if we would even be able to get booked in at such a late stage as they are coming over in 3 weeks. Unless we do still have the church wedding with just our parents and a few close friends.

How strange you were pretty much answering what I was saying as I wrote it! I think the hotel probably would still do a nice meal of some kind x

OP go ahead and have your church wedding and planned reception with the people you love the most. You can celebrate in a bigger/different way later. Wishing you all the very best x

@HowFastIsTooFastThank you. Honestly, I just don't know what to do. If we did that would we just have our parents? Or if we went up to the 15 limit (13 as we have to include the photographer and vicar) who else do we choose? Its so hard x

Another vote for going ahead with the church wedding with a smaller reception.

No one really knows when we’ll be back to “normal” at the moment so I would go ahead and as others have suggested you could always have a big 1st Anniversary bash etc

We've had two family weddings this summer, both church weddings. The first one we had 30 guests in the church then a socially distanced picnic for 6 - bride and groom and two sets of parents. It was beautiful.

The second again had 30 guests in church. Only immediate family parents/siblings and partners/grandmothers. The wedding was originally planned for October but with the thought of a second wave in the news they organised the whole day in three weeks. After the wedding the bride and groom, their siblings and a couple of friends went to the beach.

Again it was unconventional but such a lovely, joy filled day.

Both plan separate celebrations in the future and both are so happy to be married and neither of them feels they missed anything by not having the original 100+ receptions they had planned.

Definitely get married now. Being married is wonderful. If you have a happy marriage, you will always look back on your wedding as the start of it and remember it fondly. The size won't matter. You can renew your vows or have a big anniversary party, but you'll regret the time you spent unmarried, just waiting.

If you want to be married, get married, and do it soon. You only need the bride and groom and two witnesses, but you can have another eleven people if you want to.

And then, when all this is over, you can have the most massively perfect big bash with a fabulous dress, and everyone there in their finery, to celebrate your first anniversary. I suspect such things will be all the rage in 21-22.

@WiseUpJanetWeiss

If you want to be married, get married, and do it soon. You only need the bride and groom and two witnesses, but you can have another eleven people if you want to.

And then, when all this is over, you can have the most massively perfect big bash with a fabulous dress, and everyone there in their finery, to celebrate your first anniversary. I suspect such things will be all the rage in 21-22.

This is what we are doing, definitely think there will be a lot of 'weddings' happening on first anniversaries!!