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Why do weddings bring out the worst in people?!

10 replies

VictoriaSpongeBob · 30/08/2020 19:53

I don't know if having to postpone our wedding for this summer due to covid has made me negative or more sensitive but this wedding seems to have brought out some unexpected crazy behaviour from people......

Future SIL 4 months before the original date threw a hissy fit crying and all sorts because her 16 year old daughter wasn't a bridesmaid. I am not close with SIL as there is a huge age gap between her and DP and we only see her around 3 times a year (when we visit her). Phone calls to DP crying every day which really upset him so I gave in and said neice could be a bridesmaid. I got her a dress that matched the others but in laws didn't like it and so went shopping without me and got one in a completely different style and now want me to reimburse them.

Sil and her best friend have also visited the venue several times to look round and were very angry that we had not arranged to show them ourselves (I didn't know this was a thing?) SIL and friend also arranged to spend the day at the venue on the original wedding date because they were so upset about postponement. I found this very odd as the venue is over an hour away and we the couple weren't invited.

My Father is not speaking to me because I refused to invite his girlfriend of 3 months who I have not met to the wedding. This was when it was going to be a 30 person covid wedding where we were unable to have any of our friends and a lot of our families.

Also demands from both families to invite random relatives/ family friends we have never met. To be clear we are funding this wedding mostly ourselves only my DM has contributed and hasn't made any demands.

At this point I feel like I just want to elope! Did not expect people to behave like this in a million years! Please tell me it isn't just me and weddings to this to everyone?!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/08/2020 20:03

IME, wedding don't bring out the worst in people.

It sounds like you have a completely bonkers SiL, that you were a bit daft to give in to. The whole 'going out and buying a completely different dress' is just completely off the wall, as is the rest of her behaviour. But that sounds like her issue, and only yours and your dhtb's issue if you give in to it.

Of course you shouldn't have been expected to invite your df's new gf.

I know of several weddings that have had to be stripped right back this Summer. It is sad, but, unless you are a parent or sibling, I think you have to start from the assumption you aren't invited.

There are odd individuals who are rude enough to start demanding extra people are invited to things, but those odd individuals don't really add up to most people.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2020 20:06

Elope. Why put yourself through all this bullshit, spend all that money, only to be fucking miserable. My husband and I eloped and it was brilliant.

Backtoschoolnotsoonenough · 30/08/2020 20:09

We hadn't seen my mil since she met dh in December to exchange Xmas gifts. Despite having her pfb dgc in September .
We moved in April without her assistance..
Our wedding was for July. She rang him one June and told him she had rang the suit hire shop to change his choice of tartan as it had to be the wrong one (fil had been told details as he was a bog standard average man and he mentioned the colour /name).. Dh went round and spelled out that actually she wasn't invited so keep her beak out. Prob /maybe not as polite as that tbh..
Elope op, it will be amazing!!

AbyssusAbyssumInvocat · 30/08/2020 20:18

Is she completely unhinged in other aspects of life?

VictoriaSpongeBob · 30/08/2020 20:19

Agree i deeply regret giving in now i thought it would keep the peace god i was wrong!
My judgement has definitely been clouded by some stressful individuals!

OP posts:
VictoriaSpongeBob · 30/08/2020 20:23

@AbyssusAbyssumInvocat
Not that I knew of I'm not very close to her that's why I was so shocked

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2020 20:33

Save your money and elope. You will be very glad you did.

areallthenamesusedup · 30/08/2020 20:43

Oh Good Lord, his family sound bonkers! . Is he worth it ? 😂😂😂 Good luck 💐

KeepingPlain · 05/09/2020 08:56

I'd cancel the whole thing and elope. Spend the money on a more extravagant honeymoon. If they call whining about it, hang up on them each time. If they visit and whine about it, escort them out the house and close the door on them. I wouldn't listen to them anymore on it, I'd be just refusing to discuss it unless it's nice questions and not whining/bitching.

Toddlerteaplease · 12/09/2020 19:49

My sister is getting married in January. Me and my dad (who introduced me to mumsnet) are very disappointed that she's being utterly reasonable, and not being a bridezilla. And that my mum isn't being mother of the bridezilla. Maybe I should have a strop that she's decided against having any bridesmaids, so I'll never get to be one!

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