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Original poster

I just don’t get it - Save the Date

36 replies

clartins · 19/08/2020 18:29

I genuinely don’t get why a Save the Date card is sent for a wedding. If you’ve picked a venue and know the date surely the invitation will suffice.
Looking at some previous posts they cause confusion as recipients have assumed they’re invited all day when it turns out it’s just the evening. If we’re completely honest, regardless of receiving a Save the Date card if something better came up we’d forget the date and make our apologies. Please convince me that they’re worthwhile?

OP posts:
HowFastIsTooFast · 19/08/2020 18:31

A lot of people haven't picked the venue though. Friends of mine are getting married abroad next year and they've known the date for a while but not the specific details. They've given as much notice as possible as travel and time off work will be required.

mylittlesandwich · 19/08/2020 18:35

I've been sent save the date and save the evening cards so I knew what I was invited to. I didn't send them as our wedding was fairly short notice as far as weddings go so we just sent invites but I've found them helpful to receive especially if I need to organise time off work.

KipperTheFrog · 19/08/2020 18:43

Didn’t send them for our wedding. We booked venue a year in advance and told people but no official save the date. All the important people were there. We received a save the date for my cousins wedding but still couldn’t go.
I kind of get it for weddings abroad, for people to book flights etc, but otherwise, it’s just an added expense.

MrsMcTats · 19/08/2020 18:44

I think it's a handy heads up. You usually send the invitation closer to the event date, when you've had a chance to work everything out. If there are people that you'd really like there I think it's helpful to send one so they don't book a holiday that week etc. Especially if the wedding is in school holidays when families plan to be away. You could always just send to day guests.

iVampire · 19/08/2020 18:47

I just told the key people when/where

I never saw the point of buying even more stationery, when it’s only the key people (who you’d really miss if they weren’t there) that you need to tip off early

Angel2702 · 19/08/2020 18:50

We sent them when we had set a date before venue and times were confirmed so if people wanted to come they would know before booking holidays etc.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/08/2020 18:52

I think it’s quite helpful whilst the couple finalise timings/ location / hotels etc.....especially if a Sunday/ weekday, it’s a heads up to take annual leave

Parkandride · 19/08/2020 18:54

You'll have booked the venue but possibly not decided on exact timings, and you might include all the info with the invite - local hotels, if the bar only takes cash blah blah, all which could change in the run up. I'd not want to have to chase up loads of RSVPs - if you send an invite a year before and give them like 9 months to respond they're all going to forget. I'd rather give people a few weeks closer to the time.

But if you can let the key people know and it's not a summer bank holiday then they're really not necessary

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/08/2020 18:55

I think they’re helpful.

Original poster
clartins · 19/08/2020 19:04

@HowFastIsTooFast for a wedding abroad I can definitely see the benefits, I hadn’t considered that ☀️

OP posts:
Wecandothis99 · 19/08/2020 19:06

I don't think it's that hard to understand 😀. It could be a way off so place hold and then further info to follow.

Elouera · 19/08/2020 19:11

I wish I'd sent save the dates for my wedding abroad. Even just something simple to give people a heads up, consider flights, costs etc etc.

We were let down badly by a printing company that were supposed to do our invites. I had to re-do them elsewhere, then there were delays getting them posted to friends/ family abroad. It meant that people didnt get an invite till 3 weeks before our overseas wedding- which I think was ridiculous and a huge regret.

Original poster
clartins · 19/08/2020 19:11

@Wecandothis99 I understand the concept - they just seem like an additional extra that isn’t really necessary

OP posts:
HelloHolaGutenMorgen · 19/08/2020 19:12

Because when it's two years in advance and you haven't got the food options, dress code, anything else sorted but you definitely want them to save the date 😅

bubblesforlife · 19/08/2020 19:12

I sent them out, just to make sure people knew in advance, I really wanted family and friend to be there. Diaries book up quickly.
It still didn’t stop my horrid cousin booking her wedding the week before mine 6 months out and all her family cancelling their reservations to attend mine...
But let’s face it, there is a selfish tool in every family.

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/08/2020 19:15

I hate weddings so it’s a way of prolonging the feeling of dread that I have to go to a wedding.

Solina · 19/08/2020 21:35

I am planning on doing save the date cards as soon as the date and the venue has been booked as half of our guests will need to fly for the wedding and I want to give them as much heads up as possible to get cheap flights/book time off work if they want to come.

Don't see the point of them though if no one needs to fly.

MissRabbitIsExhausted · 19/08/2020 21:46

We've sent them because dps family will need to fly over and stay in hotels or arrange to stay with family here, the wedding is also a Sunday so people may need annual leave.

We are only having guests all day though, not evening invites, I wouldn't send them to anyone who was being invited just for the evening.

CMOTDibbler · 19/08/2020 21:48

I think they are useful- I have work stuff planned a year out, and events we book far ahead so it's great to know. We did get a wedding invite (full thing, Inc menu choice ) 11 months ahead and I'm paranoid we'll lose it in the meantime.
An email/ text etc with a save the date message would be quite enough though

Coffeeandteach · 21/08/2020 09:59

It just seemed like a massive waste of money to me so sent a save the date text 😬

2pinkginsplease · 21/08/2020 10:05

The invitation is enough, I just bin the save the date cards I find them very twee.

We booked and had our wedding within 4 months, no need for save the date cards, send the invite and if they can make it then great, if they can’t , no problem.

lurker101 · 21/08/2020 10:08

I think they’re really useful if you are likely to have a lot of people travelling - we live in a different continent to half our guests, so would send a save the date as the usual 6 - 12 weeks notice for an invitation wouldn’t suffice for people to realistically plan to come, book flights and arrange visas. However, if someone is having a Saturday wedding with mostly people from within 100 miles of the event I agree there’s not a lot of point in them and they’re just a money spinner for stationers

Gustavo1 · 21/08/2020 10:11

I also sent them. I was getting married over 2 years from the booking date so sending an invitation with local hotel information etc seemed a bit hasty but I didn’t want people booking their summer holidays with no idea that they would have a wedding invitation on the way.
I didn’t have evening guests but think a save the evening is a good idea too.

Original poster
clartins · 22/08/2020 15:42

I believe if friend 1 sent their Save the Date card 18 months beforehand then if a closer friend 2 sent their card 6 months later or a better offer presented itself regardless that friend 1 was super organised the vast majority would not go to friend 1s event.

OP posts:
Charleyhorses · 22/08/2020 15:46

Depends.
We had one 18 months in advance cos friends were getting married in ilfracombe on the first Saturday of the summer schools hols.we booked accommodation immediately. So sometimes it's essential.

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