Low key weddings

[Pooshweens]

I've been with my partner for years, but haven't got married yet as I didn't want to have a big wedding, be the centre of attention etc. I've had a bit of an issue with it and the thought of it stressed me out!! Even the thought of dress shopping

Similarly, I wouldn't want to have a tiny wedding (and he definitely wouldn't be up for that), as it would feel sad not to have all of our friends there

I do however wish I was married to him so want to go ahead with it

What I would be comfortable with is a low-key wedding. Something like a quick ceremony in a registry office followed by a booze up in a nice pub / restaurant

Has anyone been to or had a wedding like this? And was it good?! I want it to be relaxed but fun and still feel like a wedding, a bit anyway!

Book a room in a pub, decorate it with flowers, nice food and live band, ideal if garden or outdoor space. Instagram and pinterest for ideas!

I think low key should be a small number of closest people really just the onesyou like ans love and if any key person needs to attend or be invited clear the air first so its a good atmosphere.
Some fun wedding games.

A buffet is also more relaxed than a sit down.

I've just booked mine (jan 2021 as that are no longer taking booking for this year due to rearranging cancelled weddings)

I am exactly the same, don't want any eyes on me or attention but my partner has a big group of friends.

I have booked the most basic option available, no vows, only two witnesses allowed, and it is sitting at the same desk we registered our children's births.

It cost £57 for that, and £70 to give notice. So £127 including marriage certificate.

We are then going to book a hog roast and do a BBQ in our garden at a slightly later date and request instead of wedding gifts/money that our guests bring their own booze (to keep them going should the supply we will be providing runs out)

Totally doable.
I absolutely could not imagine spending Thousands on a wedding and having the eyes on me so it's worked out really well for us.

I had a small wedding with 30 of us in total during the day. We were able to pick a small but beautiful venue that had great availability allowing us to marry on a Saturday mid-summer. A lot of people plan a bigger wedding/have more family they need to invite and therefore couldn’t book the little country house we married in.

You really don’t need to have a big number to have a great day. We had our ceremony, a drinks reception and meal at the house and then invited a small number of extra guests (friends/colleagues) to the evening for some music, drinks and dancing. Due to our small number we were able to actually spend time with our guests and we provided a bar tab for part of the evening too.

I was worried about the size when planning but I wouldn’t change anything. I’d always recommend you do what you feel works for you both and don’t feel you need to do what is the ‘typical wedding’.

We did a registry office and rented a social club hall, with 7 weeks notice

Loveeee low key weddings, fancy ones stress me out and I get bored easily.

I wanted the marriage, not the wedding

My sister has found a tiny venue in the Lake District. (She lives there) she's having the ceremony and then afternoon tea for about 15 people.

I've been to plenty of lovely small/low-key weddings over the years, both ones which were small in number of attendees but really luxurious/formal in terms of the day and the food/drink etc, and ones which had high numbers of guests but really relaxed and informal with barbeque food, picnic bench seating or whatever, plus combinations/varying shades of the above. Just like with any wedding, what makes it enjoyable is the celebration/love of the (hopefully) happy couple, getting to spend time with family/friends and good consideration and hospitality (not necessarily spending lots of money) being shown to the guests. Anything else is just window dressing IMO.

One thing I would say before you start planning though is to have a really thorough, honest, open conversation with your DP about what each of you want and don't want from the wedding, and really really be sure you understand each other and agree where possible. I find weddings to be a bit like Christmas in that everyone has their own ideas, traditions, expectations of what 'makes' a wedding and what is essential for it to 'feel right' (e.g. in one family mashed potato is a must with Christmas dinner, in another it's an abomination). And like Christmas, weddings have a lot of emotional, family, relationship, traditional, religious and financial baggage attached so can be a real breeding ground for upset and rows which you want to avoid if possible.

You only have to see the replies to this thread that a 'small informal wedding' means different things to different people - my MIL was telling me in a mildly scandalised tone the other day that a friend's daughter had a 'tiny, cheap' wedding, it was in a posh London hotel with a sit down meal for 100 guests . To be fair they are originally from another culture where multi-day 300+ guests weddings are more the norm!

So just make sure you agree with your DH what your 'must-haves', 'must not haves' and 'don't mind if we haves' are, and what the budget is. You can guarantee that well meaning friends and relatives will have opinions to stick in as well so you really need to be on the same page there. There's nothing worse than having a happy event overshadowed by a silly quarrel with your MIL about buttonholes or similar, which can just as much happen with a 10 person wedding as a 1000 person one!

Thank you for your replies. They are greatly appreciated

These are my wedding top tips. Book a church hall or get a room in a pub. Set the date. This is very important. This is the first thing to decide.
Discuss with him your options and priorities too. Also make sure to sort out the important stuff like the food and photography early on. When I was planning my wedding last year, I had weekly planning meetings on Fridays at which everyone would ask questions, relay any concerns or updates, make some tentative plans, and do a bit of online research on possible options too. Will that work or not? My mom was on the planning committee as one of the key people. So was my dad too. She was responsible for doing the decorations and food, he took care of the finances and dealt with the legal stuff in relation to the wedding and was our cameraman on my big day. That made it a lot easier on me.
Delegate tasks to different people. My two aunts saw to the dress, the cake and the flowers and one was in charge of making the invitations. They also did the sewing. I helped them of course. At each weekly committee meeting I knew exactly what was happening. I truly recommend making some notes too. My boyfriend handled the general planning stuff like the music and table plans. Everyone worked as a team.

My actual wedding took place in a church hall on a Friday morning. The wedding reception was pretty low key however. At my actual wedding everyone had a lovely time. You definitely both need to sit down and have a long honest talk now before it is too late. Get a few quotations in advance and contact details and also look at a handful of wedding brochures as a couple. You can even find several wedding companies online. A wedding is a really big event. You want it to be perfect ideally. Make a list of wedding suppliers. Email or call each one.
Before we started the planning, me and my then fiancee had a brief talk. What matters to you personally? Consider how to answer that question. I immediately decided to skip the wine on my big day and he was totally on board with my decision. I also wanted to have a dance floor. In place of any gifts, we asked for money. Rather than serve a seven course meal, there were starters, nibbles and appetizers. We also had a one course buffet lunch for the guests. No drinks. Look at some cheap bridal magazines. Keep a guest list. I learned some crucial vital life lessons during my wedding planning. Best of wishes! To keep the costs down, we omitted the professional catering team.