Opinions wanted - Covid Postponement

[PostieGal]

I know this topic is very "1st world problems"... but...
I was due to be getting married in five weeks (30th April), I'm 11 weeks pregnant (due mid Oct), and really really want to take OH's surname before baby is born. It's looking unlikely we'll be able to guarantee a wedding before then, so the big question...
Is it too weird to change my name by deed poll to take his surname now, then postpone our wedding until after baby is born??
The only thing stopping us really is whether it will feel too weird during the ceremony for the registrar to be saying "do you mr smith take mrs smith to be your wife" etc etc.
Just putting the feelers out to see if I'm a bit weird... or does it not matter what others think if this solution would work for us?? Thanks in advance for your opinions!

I think that's a good compromise.

Postpone the “wedding” but still get married on the date as planned IYSWIM. It’s will provide all 3 of you with legal protection en you can still have the wedding celebration, maybe on your 1st wedding anniversary

i would still get married if it is possible

You can have them just say your first names during the vows instead if that makes you feel better? I'd change it now and do the wedding later x

Thanks for your fast responses!
Sorry I should have mentioned, all weddings have now been banned. Currently only for three weeks, but realistically, looking at how bad it is still in Italy, we're still going to be in lockdown by then. Otherwise we'd both love to go ahead as planned, it's only a small wedding so we'd assessed it as low-risk... but hotels and registrars have now closed for the foreseeable.

I'm in exactly the same dilemma OP. Wedding (reg office then garden party at home) booked for 2 May, baby due 3 July 😭

I am gutted we probably won't be married before the baby comes, it means a lot to me.

Im not sure of the point of changing your name via deed poll, the birth cert would stil show you weren't married in a way wouldn't it?

I am in a dilemma as to whether, if weddings aren't still banned on 2 May, do we do it with just the two witnesses or just wait til this is all over ☹️

I just feel disappointed and sad and its yet another way in which corona is ruining my first pregnancy in a way which will have lasting effects. I know it's self centred and small in the grand scheme etc but it is how I feel 😔

I would do it if it’s important to you; I considered doing the same when we had our DD. I never got round to it in the end but I didn’t care what anyone else thought.

Sorry if I'm not up-to-date with this but I thought ceremonies were still allowed to go ahead with a maximum of 5 people? SIL is getting married and had planned to go with just them and two witnesses.

Yy, I believe it’d still possible to be legally married. Only registrar, couple and two witnesses allowed

@Christmastree43 it's an awful situation isn't it!
For me, it's not the fact of being married that's important, it's more about the name. I currently have my ex's surname, so it's not just that I want the same name as my OH & child, but I want rid of my current name. We've brainstormed other names I could take, e.g. my maiden name, my mum's maiden name, or even just move my middle name to be my surname for the time being, but none of them feel right. Plus all the faff of changing all the documents twice, when we still want to be married asap when the virus is over. I didn't realise the birth certificate would state whether the parents are married or not.

@DippyAvocado & @OwlBasket unfortunately even that has been changed now, no marriages at all. The only ceremonies that are permitted now are funerals. It all changed on Monday. No more baptisms either.

Aww @PostieGal in your circs it does make sense to change your name if you wanted to, especially as a PP says you can just have your first names read at the eventual ceremony.

Just to clarify, don't want to mislead, birth certs don't explicitly say whether you are married, they do have boxes for mothers maiden name and 'name at marriage if different from maiden name' so I'm not sure how that would work in your situation, it may work out okay for you

You have quite a few more weeks than me (jealous so hoping things have changed by the time this baby arrives) so lots more thinking/ waiting time.

I am going to keep waiting and see what changes, i.e. Will wedding become legal again. What strange times at least it will be a good story to tell our little ones, if they are ever interested

Thanks @christmastree43 that clarification is perfect, thanks! So yes, changing my name ahead of the wedding could be my solution! Could it be something you would consider? Then you could have your name the same as baby with places like the doctor's surgery etc.

Yes I do feel lucky that it's still early days and it'll hopefully be over by October, I cant imagine how hard it must be for you to prepare.

Have your registry office been in touch with you about the possibility of postponing? Mine haven't yet but their website says they'll be in touch and not to try to contact them.